


DNA of a Backstreet Boy

by krazikrys



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Atlanta, Bisexual Female Character, Divorce, Drama, F/M, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Moving On, NaNoWriMo, Sex, Surgery, Surprises, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-01-25 22:31:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 50,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21363721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krazikrys/pseuds/krazikrys
Summary: His son is pursuing his music career. His wife is managing it, or so he thinks. After twenty years of marriage, Brian finds out his wife is cheating on him. Picking up the pieces, he moves across the country, hoping to fly under the radar. It’s never that easy when you’re a celebrity. The group is hotter than ever, having released an acoustic album and beginning a new residency in Vegas. Is Brian going to be able to move on after his whole world has essentially disintegrated?
Relationships: Brian Littrell/Leighanne Littrell, Brian Littrell/Original Female Character
Kudos: 22





	1. Is It Just Me

**Author's Note:**

> Don't know them. Never met them.
> 
> No, I don't hate Leighanne. it's just easier to write Brian after I destroy his life!

[ ](https://imgur.com/CzbsfEo)

## Prologue: Is It Just Me

He wasn’t sure when it first started. Maybe it was just after his son had moved out in June. They had helped him secure an apartment there in the Atlanta area. Sure they had to sign as guarantors because he was so young and his job was listed as “musician.” But no one doubted that the rent would get paid every month. Baylee Littrell was the son of Brian Littrell, the Backstreet Boy.

Shortly after they had gotten Baylee settled, Brian began to notice something strange. His wife began to ignore his phone calls. He was out in Las Vegas with the rest of the guys and they were in talks for another Vegas residency. There was actually a debate on whether or not they returned to Planet Hollywood or book at the Palms. It was during those talks that Brian realized he kept getting Leighanne’s voicemail.

They were sitting in a conference room with their management team, dinner on the table. They had all taken a break to eat and call home because it was about half-past seven there in Vegas and both Brian and Howie had family on the East Coast. Brian slid back from the table and pulled out his phone. Opening his contacts, he found his wife, listed simply as “Wife” and pressed the send button. He was surprised when he instantly got her voice mail. Pulling the phone away from his ear, he stared at it before hitting the end button. “Something wrong Bri?” Kevin asked from down the table.

“Leighanne’s phone went directly to voicemail,” he said, perplexed.

“Maybe her phone’s dead,” Howie offered.

Brian shrugged. “Maybe…” he stated. He knew they never let their phones go completely dead. Their phones were the only way they conducted business. Not only that he had told her he would call when they had a dinner break. So why wouldn’t she have her phone charged?

“It is pretty late back there,” Alex added.

Brian nodded his agreement, though he knew that they were night owls. Just because it was ten, didn’t mean she was in bed. Usually, she was having a glass of wine in front of the television if she was home. The meeting resumed and Brian pushed the weird feeling he had away. The thought that ran through his head as they started discussing things again was maybe her phone was off.

Two days later, Brian was in his hotel room watching a baseball game when his phone pinged. Reaching for it, he saw that it was his wife texting him. She apologized for missing his call. She said her phone had died and was on the charger.

Brian replied with, “It’s okay,” and went back to his game. He didn’t mention that it had taken her two days to get back to him. He didn’t want to start a fight, especially via text message. He let the incident drop and forgot about it. That was until he was home.

It was within the first week he had been back from his Vegas trip. Leighanne had said she had plans to go out with her friends. Brian shrugged and curled up on the couch. The house felt empty and looming without Baylee around, but Brian didn’t mind. He spent the vast majority of his life around noise and chaos, so being able to sit in the stillness of his home was actually refreshing. Leighanne had left and Brian didn’t watch the clock, but the game and the highlights had ended before he realized he was still alone. Around midnight, he realized that Leighanne wasn’t home. She usually was home by that time. Picking up his phone he called her and found that it again went straight to voicemail. Her phone was likely off. He found this strange. He also found it odd that she wasn’t home yet. Sighing, he grabbed his phone and headed upstairs. He’d try again before he fell asleep. But he didn’t sleep. He stayed awake, listening. The dogs were curled up on their spots at the end of the bed asleep. Around one, he tried calling again. Again it went straight to voicemail. He lay there in bed wondering. Had something happened? Was something wrong? Should he start calling her friends? He shook his head, realizing he was being ridiculous and overprotective. They had always trusted each other. She was probably having a good time and that was why her phone was off.

Brian dozed off, his phone in his hand. He awoke to a rustling in the dark and realized it was Leighanne. Glancing at the clock, he saw it was after two in the morning. He groaned and she replied, “Oh, Honey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Where’ve you been?” Brian mumbled, rolling over to watch his wife crawl into bed.

“Just out, why?”

“No answer when I tried to call.”

Leighanne leaned over and kissed Brian’s forehead. “I turned my phone off. We were having a good time.”

“Good,” Brian mumbled as he lay his head back on the pillow and fell back asleep.

As the time drew closer to this residency, the group finally decided to resign with Planet Hollywood and things began to be set in motion for what they wanted this show to be like. As Brian spent more and more time away from home he began to see more and more of his text messages either being ignored or taking longer to get responses. His phone calls almost always went straight to voicemail when he was in Vegas. 

He was glad that it was getting closer to the end of November. This year, Baylee’s birthday didn’t fall on Thanksgiving so they were going to have a small family affair on Friday. Pretty much it involved college football, leftovers and just being together. It was the first birthday Baylee had that he wasn’t in the house and he had begged not to have a big party. The night that Baylee had called and said he just wanted to be with his family for his birthday surprised Brian. Not Baylee’s request, but his wife’s reaction. She had told Baylee that she’d already blacked out their event venue for that weekend and that all he had to do was set a guest list and she’d have all their usual vendors on it. She looked brokenhearted when Bay said that he just wanted to stay in that weekend with them; nothing elaborate or fancy. As they hung up from the call, Brian looked at his wife. She was staring at the carpet, shaking her head slowly.

“Why doesn’t he want a party?” she asked quietly.

Brian leaned back on the sofa and placed his arm on the back. “He’s out on his own. He misses us.”

“But I’ve got it all figured out already.”

“I’m sure you do, but it’s not what he wants. You heard him. He just wants to be with us this year. Last year, it was all about the extended family. I think we did, what, two or three turkeys. The house was full.” Brian sighed. It had been a good birthday for Baylee, even though it had been Thanksgiving as well.

Sighing, Leighanne added, “But we’re losing money.”

Brian looked up at her. “We’d lose money whether you booked it for Bay or you closed for the holiday. It’s not a big deal.”

Huffing, Leighanne walked out of the living room and Brian heard her sending what sounded like a frantic text message as she walked away. Resting his head back on the back of the sofa in the silence, he waited. He almost knew what was coming before it did. Twenty minutes later, Leighanne appeared and said she was going out with her friends. Brian nodded and got up. He headed to the gym and let Leighanne go without a word. By now, he almost knew the routine. She’d be out way too late and not answer any texts and her phone would go straight to voicemail. Brian had a sinking suspicion as he moved his way around the court making shot after shot. Something was going on and he really didn’t want to believe it was true.

They had a week-long stint in Vegas the first week in December to firm up dates, ticket prices, stage and costume design, and other details. He flew out from Atlanta and by the third day of meetings, emotions were running high. Ticket prices were the hold up. There was a reason to keep ticket prices reasonable, but there were also expenses that needed to be covered. Plus there was the deal with Wonderful Union that needed to be sealed for meet and greets. It was about two in the afternoon and they had decided to take a break before tempers flared and arguments broke out. Hotel production staff and management all stepped out to take phone calls or at least give the five celebrities space. Everyone in the room knew it was a tactic the management types like to employ to get the guys to actually talk things out. It didn’t usually work. Instead, they all reached for their cell phones and started checking text messages.

Brian checked his and saw only a couple from Baylee. Sighing, he scrolled his contacts and tried to call his wife. For what seemed like the hundredth time, it went straight to voicemail. Growling, he angrily ended the call and slid the phone down the table, muttering, “Dammit, where are you?” 

The other four guys looked up from their phones and down at Brian, who was sitting at the end of the table. “Trouble in paradise?” Howie asked. Brian glared at him.

“Everything okay, Cuz?” Kevin asked.

Brian’s glare became harder. “No,” he replied, angrily.

Nick reached out and slid Brian’s phone back down to him. “What’s up?”

Sighing, Brian replied, “Every time I’m here, she doesn’t answer her phone. Says she’s always busy with Bay’s stuff.”

“Isn’t he working on a new album?” Alex inquired.

Brian shrugged. “He’s got some new stuff recorded, but I don’t know if it’s actually been set as an album or not. There’s a lot of buzz about him in Nashville. Like New Artist buzz and the like. Everyone down there was apparently surprised he didn’t get a nod this last time around.” The men in the room nodded. “So I don’t know what’s going on. She doesn’t seem to talk to me much anymore. I get more for Bay than her.”

“Come on, Bri,” Kevin said. “She probably is busy. You of all people know how hard this business is and on a kid Baylee’s age, he’s lucky to have the two of you around him. It’s probably just business stuff. I mean, what between Baylee and the event business you guys have, she’s busy all the time, just like you are.”

Sighing, Brian rested his head on his hand. “You’re probably right.”

At that moment, the door opened and in walked the managers and promoters and other event staff for the hotel/casino. Brian looked at the four guys around him, knowing they were like brothers and that they were probably right. She probably was just super busy with Bay’s career and running the event business. Nothing was going on. Nothing major anyway. They’d been together for over twenty years. She wouldn’t do anything. But he couldn’t help but wonder.

By the end of the week, they had their schedule all set. Rehearsals would start after the first of the year and bleed directly into the first run. Ticket prices were reasonable for the venue and meet and greet packages would not just be restricted to fan club members. There would be a certain number of upgrades for every show. They would all be able to be home with their families for the Christmas holidays.

For the first time ever, Brian was nervous about being home for Christmas. He had this sinking feeling in his heart. He knew Baylee would be there and nothing would happen if he was around. But there was a nagging suspicion that something was going to happen. Something was going on with Leighanne. He didn’t know what. But he just had a feeling that something was up.


	2. Siberia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are novel-length chapters. I apologize in advance if they are long to read.

## Chapter One: Siberia

**January 7, 2022  
** **Littrell Residence  
** **Atlanta, Georigia**

Brian sat on the floor of his closet staring at his shoes. He was trying to figure out which ones to pack for the next six weeks. The clothes had been easy. Two different types of weeks: workdays and off days, not that it was ever that easy. And to most people, his workday and non-work day outfits would look like non-work clothes anyway. At least he had the hotel laundry service to rely on; it made packing so much easier. Glancing over his shoulder at the bed, he saw all his clothes laid out ready to be packed. His large black suitcase was laying open on the floor. There was also a small duffle bag next to it. Sighing, he flung himself backward onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Why did he have so many shoes? Why was it always so difficult to choose?

Closing his eyes, he placed a hand to his forehead and realized that that wasn’t what was bothering him. He knew what was bothering him. He just really didn’t want to admit it. He had a feeling he knew what was coming once he had everything packed. He just wasn’t sure as to when. Would it be tonight? Tomorrow? Would it be now or when he got back from this six-week stint? Sighing, he sat up and stared at his shoes again. He’d already ordered his two pairs for the shows. Both were white and he’d work on personalizing them when he got to Las Vegas. He knew they were in because one of the first things they had to do was the final costume fitting/check. Not that many of their “costumes” were really elaborate anymore. Alex usually joked that they should almost be shopping at thrift stores now to find their costumes for shows, they were that old. Not that Alex would ever be caught dead in a second-hand store.

Brian focused back on the task at hand. What did he need? At least two pairs: something comfortable and similar to what he was going to be wearing during the dance numbers. He’d be breaking his stage shoes in when they got to full runs the last couple of days, but until then he wanted something in the same style and cut that he’d be wearing on stage. Thankfully, most of his shoes were the same brand. He could afford to be picky like that now. Sighing, he looked at his “work clothes” and back at his shoes. Still had to be somewhat put together. He reached for the red pair. They were actually a duplicate of the pair he wore on stage on the last tour. He always retired his tour shoes, but if he found a pair or style or color he liked, he made sure to get a second (or third) pair. He figured the red would pop on any video or photos they posted to the socials. They tried to keep their rehearsals secret, but he and Nick couldn’t seem to help posting something on their Instagram accounts during rehearsals for their fans.

He set the pair outside his closet and went back to staring at his shoes. He needed at least one other pair, maybe two. He glanced at a pair of white ones with blue trim and a pair of black ones with white trim. He grabbed both pairs and stood up. He walked over to the bed and set all three pairs of shoes out next to the clothes. Slowly, he began packing his clothes into his suitcase, rolling what he could to avoid wrinkles and get as much as he could into the suitcase. After almost thirty years of traveling, he considered himself somewhat of an expert when it came to packing. He took his time. As he finished, he slid his suitcase to the ground and then packed the duffle bag with his shoes and other accessories that he might want, hats, his watch, his toiletries. Sighing, he carefully set the duffle bag on top of the suitcase. He wasn’t leaving until the next morning, but at least he was ready for the flight out to Vegas and he would have an easier time getting there.

He rolled his suitcase out of the room and down the hall. The hardest part was going to be the stairs, but at least he had been conditioning for this. He refused to let himself “go soft” in his breaks. He was usually out on the court, on the weights, doing anything he could to remain ready for whatever life brought him.

As he brought his suitcase to rest in the foyer, he set his duffle bag next to it and looked up. His wife was standing there. “Hey Babe,” he said.

“Bri,” Leighanne said softly.

Taking a breath, Brian stared at her. “What?” he asked. He watched as she looked at him. He tried to prepare himself for what he suspected was coming, but actually hearing the words…

“When you get back, I won’t be here,” Leighanne whispered. Brian stared. “I don’t want to start a fight.” Brian blinked. “Take what you want. Take what’s yours. If you want to talk, you can call.” Brian didn’t move, couldn’t move. He watched as his wife turned and walked away from him.

Brian stood there staring after her for a moment. Images ran through his head. The day he met her. Their first date. Seeing her there when he woke up from surgery. The day he proposed. Their wedding. The birth of their son. The vow renewal. Watching their son on Broadway. His sixteenth birthday. Watching Baylee perform on stage for the first time on the last tour. Taking a step, he felt the anger in his chest. He followed her into the living room. “What do you mean, Leighanne? Why are you doing this?” He wasn’t shouting, but he felt his voice crack. He could feel everything falling apart at that moment.

Leighanne spun around and stopped. She reached for his hand. Brian pulled it away. “It’s not your fault, Brian.”

Brian glared at her. “What do you mean it’s not my fault? It’s not my fault that I’ve worked hard to build this life that we have?” Leighanne shook her head. “It’s not my fault that I’m never around because I’m out doing what I love and what I need to do to provide for us? It’s not my fault that our son wants to follow in my footsteps? What? What is it?”

Leighanne sighed. She reached for Brian’s face, but Brian stepped back. “It’s not that.” Brian waited. He wasn’t sure he was going to have a voice to say what he needed to, but if he waited, he just might. “It’s me,” she finally whispered. “I’m alone in this house now. Bay’s out living his life. You just got back from the tour and now you’re going to spend every other month in Vegas. I’m here… alone.”

Brian shook his head slowly. “Not alone,” he huskily whispered. “There’s someone else.”

Shaking her head, Leighanne tried to deny it. Her long blond hair fanning out around her face. “There’s not. I swear.”

Taking a breath, Brian turned and walked away. He headed for the front door and barely avoided slamming it as he walked outside. The cold air hit his face and he instantly regretted walking outside. He’d left his jacket inside and it was January. He fished in his jeans pockets for his phone. Finding it, he stared at it. Who was he going to call? He couldn’t call the guys. He couldn’t’ tell them. They wouldn’t believe him. He couldn’t call Baylee. That would be too much of a shock for him. It had been the three of them on this adventure for the past five years. He had given Bay every piece of performance advice he could. Helped him figure out how to be in the spotlight and not behind it. And Leighanne had been managing his career. They had produced his first official video together, Leighanne directing it even.

Brian stopped in the grass and stared up at the sky. Was this the beginning of the end? What would become of their businesses? He groaned out loud and spun in a circle. Daylight was fading. Only then did he realize that he still had to get to the airport the next day. It had never been an issue before. Leighanne usually took him and dropped him off if they weren’t going together. Slowly, Brian started to walk around the “estate” that he owned. Did he really own it or was it a joint venture that was going to have to be split in any divorce proceedings? Squinting his eyes closed, he covered his eyes with his palms. He was getting ahead of himself. They could figure this out. It wasn’t the end. It was just a “break.” It wasn’t the first time they’d had problems. He didn’t think they could do a legal separation in Georgia, but it was temporary. She’d see. She’d want him back. They’d been married for over twenty years.

Wandering around, he came to a stop next to a tree. He placed his hands on the bark and looked up at the branches. They had planted this tree when Baylee was born. It was his tree. Sighing, Brian lowered himself to the ground beneath it and felt the frozen coldness seep into his bones. He was cold, but he wasn’t sure if it was because of the temperature outside or the way he felt inside. He pulled his knees up next to his body and wrapped his arms around them to keep warm. He stared off into the distance and watched it get dark around him. Once darkness finally descended upon him, he found the strength to get up. His body was stiff from sitting still so long and being out in the cold. Noticing where he was, he walked around to the back door and slowly opened it, heading into the kitchen. He took the back stairs back up to his room. He paused outside the door. Turning the handle, he slid inside and found a pair of pajama bottoms and a tee-shirt before heading back out of the room. He wandered listlessly down the hallway to one of the bathrooms they usually let guests use. 

He started a shower and climbed into the glass enclosure. He was careful in setting the temperature because he didn’t want to burn himself. He stood there, letting the water run down his body and warm him up. As he was standing there, he wondered about where he was sleeping that night. He most certainly did not feel like sharing a bed with the woman who had just told him that she was leaving him. Or was she kicking him out? He wasn’t entirely sure.

Once Brian felt he had warmed up from his time outside, he climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. Sighing, he stood in front of the mirror and wiped the condensation off the glass. He glanced at his reflection. Was that really his own reflection? Sighing, he grabbed another towel and ran it over his head and face. Grabbing his clothes, he slowly got dressed and headed out of the bathroom. He glanced at the clock on the wall. It was only seven in the evening. He knew it was possible to move about the house without running into his wife. He’d done it a few times, usually unintentionally. He moved down the hall running his fingers down the wall as he walked. What would he take? What would he leave?

He strolled around the upstairs for a while before heading downstairs. He noticed a pillow and blanket on the couch. That answered the question he had about where he was going to sleep that night. It wasn’t the first time he’d done it either. But now it felt different. It wasn’t because of an argument.

Brian stayed up late watching television, but not really paying attention. He finally fell asleep but didn’t sleep well. He awoke before he needed to and found his cell phone on the coffee table with a note underneath it. “Find another ride,” it said. Sighing, he moved his hand and pushed his phone down the table. He didn’t want to think about anything right at that moment. Finding a ride to the airport was the least of his worries. Sighing, he reached for his phone. There was a notification reminding him he had a plane to catch. He unlocked his phone, opened the Lyft app and requested a ride. He then headed towards the door and grabbed his wallet and his keys and waited. When the app alerted him that his ride was there, he took one last look around his house, closed his eyes for a moment, before grabbing his luggage and heading out to the SUV that was his ride.

The driver actually remembered him from one of his previous rides to or from the airport. On occasion, he had had to get a Lyft. Thankfully, the driver kept his mouth shut and didn’t say anything to Brian, because he really didn’t feel like talking anyway. They arrived at Hartsfield-Jackson Airport and Brian paid for his ride before going through the motions he had gone through a million times before. He had about two million frequent flyer miles. He just about knew the airport as well as his own home. He made his way through TSA pre-check and headed to his gate. He carried nothing on, preferring to check everything, though knowing that sometimes things got lost. As he got to his gate, he knew he should probably post to Instagram, but also knew he probably looked like hell after the night he’d had. He knew he had about a four and a half hour flight ahead of him so he could catch up on a few hours of sleep. He also knew that going from East to West, he was going to land just about an hour and a half “after” he left. So his day wouldn’t be completely wasted. But at the same time, he knew he’d be getting in around two-thirty. At least he’d be able to relax. Rehearsals started bright and early the next morning.

**January 9, 2022  
Las Vegas, Nevada**

Final costuming had gone about as quickly and routinely as it had always gone. By after lunch, Brian was sitting backward in a folding chair in a dance studio trying to pay attention. On the floor in front of him and his four bandmates was a layout of the stage. Brian held a piece of paper in his hand. It was the setlist. He glanced at it. It was going to be a twenty-five song set. Shorter than their last tour, but longer than their last residency. And a good portion of it was going to be acoustic. In a way, he was glad they were finally at the point they could customize their shows like this. He knew the next twenty days were going to push them all. Pain killers, ice baths, heat, whatever worked for them. Brian had made sure he had plenty of ibuprofen stocked up on as well as heat patches and that his room had a full jet tub. For the first time since they had started the Vegas dream five years prior, he was staying at the hotel they were performing at.

“Yo, Bri, you in there?” Nick Carter asked his best friend.

Brian blinked. “Huh?” He looked around at the four men in the chairs. They were all dressed similarly in work out pants and tees with tennis shoes. Nick was nearest to him in the semicircle. Next to Nick was Kevin Richardson, Brian’s cousin and the oldest in the group. He had turned fifty in October and they all questioned if he was still willing and able to do what they did. He quieted those fears within the first five minutes of talking about this residency. Next to him was Howie Dorough. Howie had his hand in so many things right then, including developing his musical. His run had gone amazingly in Nebraska in 2020 and there were some tweaks still but he was talking to people in New York about a full-on Broadway production. And directly across from Brian was AJ McLean.

AJ leaned forward in his chair and repeated what he said, “We’re breaking out early tonight. Sugar Rush has agreed to stay open.”

Brian shook his head slowly, clearly lost in what was going on. Nick reached over and pushed his shoulder. “Brian, I know you and Howie are a little jet-lagged, but come on, get with it. AJ’s birthday? We agreed we’d do dinner since his was on the first night of rehearsals.” Brian nodded, remembering the conversation they’d had a few months prior. Both AJ and Nick’s birthdays would fall during rehearsals for the new residency. They weren’t together often for them, so they agreed they’d go out to dinner on each of them. Oddly, AJ’s was at the beginning and Nick’s was at the end, so they all had agreed that it would be a great way to celebrate the new residency. And since Brian’s birthday was going to be the last show on the first round, they were already talking about VIP rooms and celebrating.

Brian shook himself. “Yeah, sorry. Great.”

“Okay, back to business,” Kenny, the production manager said from the floor. “Setlist? Finalized?” Everyone nodded. “Okay, good. Let’s go through it in its entirety and make sure we’re in agreeance as to when things are.”

Brian fought to stay with what was going on. His brain was a million miles away. He knew he needed to be present but with what had transpired at home, how could he focus? The next six weeks were going to be torture. He knew once they actually started running numbers the next day, his brain would be full of dance steps, transitions, conversations, and other things he needed to remember. But today was the tedious work. The work he really couldn’t pay attention to with everything else running through his mind.

Alex had been right. Kenny let them out early so they could go to dinner. Normally they would be there until at least eleven or even midnight with a nine in the morning call time. But tonight they got out at nine for celebratory purposes and the promise that the next day would be hell. They had laughed at that but knew it to be true.

They headed over to Sugar Rush, a restaurant that specialized in deserts. And they made sure to get pictures of the five of them together celebrating. Brian managed to fake his smile and his enthusiasm for the night and when they finally left each other, heading off to their respective hotels, or homes, in Nick’s case, Brian felt the weight lift off his shoulders a little bit. It was close to midnight and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed.

Arriving back at his room, he waved his bodyguard, Mike, off and headed inside. He literally just dropped his card key on the table inside the door and walked over to the couch. Kicking his shoes off, he pulled up the alarm on his phone and set it for seven, knowing he’d probably snooze it at least once. He set the phone on the arm of the couch and stretched out. He knew he was going to regret sleeping on the couch in the morning, but by Tuesday, his whole body was going to hurt in places he hadn’t used in a while, so he wasn’t too concerned.

**January 28, 2022  
Las Vegas, Nevada**

It was nine in the morning. They were still waiting on Nick to get there and Kevin as well. Alex and Howie were sitting on stools staring at their phones. Brian, however, was changing his shoes. It was full run day. Doubles if they could handle it. All the talk, dance, and singing they had just like if there was a crowd. Brian had to break in his stage shoes and after having spent some time customizing them, he needed to make sure he wasn’t going to end up blistered and hurting after the first few shows. Once he had them tied, he wandered around the studio. His phone pinged in his pocket. Grabbing it, he saw it was a message from his son.

“How’re rehearsals going, Old Man?” the message said.

Brian grinned and rolled his eyes. “Reminding me that I’m old,” he typed back. And then added, “Wishing my shows were like yours right about now.”

Baylee sent back a laughing emoji and said, “It must be full run day.”

“Yeah,” Brian texted back. “Haven’t started yet, so if you wanna call, you can.” A minute later, the phone rang in Brian’s hand. Unlocking it, Brian grinned. “Hey Bub,” he said.

“Hi, Dad. I fly out tomorrow morning.”

“So you’ll be here for the first show?”

“Yeah,” Baylee replied. Brian could tell there was something bothering his son.

“Well, it's all set. Mike will meet you at the airport then, or do I need to hire you your own security now?” He tried to lighten the mood that he knew was slowly darkening. He really needed to focus.

Baylee laughed on the other end. “No, not yet. But you’d better get used to it, Old Man.” There was a cough. “So, uh, Mom says she’s got stuff to take care of for the new album so she wasn’t sure if she was going to make it.”

Brian nodded, sliding further away from the guys in the corner. Nick had arrived and now they were just waiting on Kevin. “Well, those are the breaks, Bub,” he said softly. “She’s probably tracking you down something amazing. But we can talk more about business when you get here. How long are you staying? Through Tuesday?”

“Yeah,” Baylee replied. “Gotta get back to the grind. Recording in Nashville next week.”

“Text me pics, okay? And keep me in the loop.” Glancing up, he saw Kevin walk in the door. “Hey, Bub, Cousin Kev just got here. So I gotta go. But I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Love you.”

Brian could almost hear the eye roll on the other end of the phone. “Yeah, Love you too. See ya then.” They hung up and Brian slid the phone back into the rear pocket of his jeans. Walking back over to the group, he reached down into the corner and grabbed his mug of tea.

“So, what’s your game plan?” Kevin asked, looking at Brian.

Sighing, Brian sipped his tea for a minute before replying, “I’ll sing first time through, but after that, I’ll run the motions, do the talking and tomorrow is a rest day.”

Howie looked up from his phone. “So are you going full on vocal rest tomorrow?”

Brian nodded. “If I wanna have a good opening, doc says that the way to do it.”

Alex came and put his hand on Brian’s shoulder. “Aw, you mean we don’t have to put up with your antics tomorrow?”

Brian glared at him and Nick stepped up. “No, he’ll still be here. It just means I get to take over for him!”

Brian rolled his eyes. “I can soundcheck with you guys on Sunday afternoon, but otherwise, after today, it’s about forty-eight hours of nothing.”

Nick paused, putting his arm around Brian’s shoulder. “Wait, does that mean you’re going silent after run through one? I won’t get to talk to you tonight at my birthday dinner?”

Grinning, Brian elbowed the younger man beside him. “You can talk my ear off. I just get to pretend I don’t hear you because I won’t respond!”

Kenny took the break in the conversation to step up and say, “Okay, full run this morning. We’ll clean anything up, break for lunch and then come back and do it again.” Everyone nodded and grabbed microphones and headed for their opening spots.

Brian poured everything he had into that first run-through, hitting his marks, his notes, everything. It was all he could do to keep his mind off of what he really wanted to focus on. He was glad they were going out that night. No one knew what was going on and by him taking the next forty-eight hours to be silent, he likely wasn’t going to have to blab it either. The hardest thing was explaining to his son Baylee why his mother wasn’t going to be at the opening show. Brian knew that she likely wouldn’t attend any of the shows. Most likely, no one would notice. As they finished the first run through at a little beyond an hour and a half, Brian sprawled out on the floor on his back. Yeah, he wished he could be like his son and just really stay in one place and sing. But being in a group, it just didn’t work like that. Yes, this show had a large portion in the middle where they actually got to sit down and sing, which was nice. It allowed them the opportunity to rest and get ready for the closing set.

As Brian lay there, he turned his head and glanced at Nick who was also flat out on his back staring at the ceiling. “Hey, are we gonna be able to do this?” Brian asked.

“You tell me,” Nick replied, sitting up and breathing hard.

Brian rolled over onto his stomach and pushed up onto his hands and knees. “I don’t know, Birthday Boy. I know it’s way better than the last time we were in Vegas.” Standing up, he headed over to a table along the wall. He grabbed a bottle of ibuprofen and dumped out two pills. He popped them in his mouth before grabbing a bottle of water and unscrewing the cap and taking a drink. He then grabbed a styrofoam cup and filled it with hot water and dropped a bag of black tea in it. He let the bag steep for a while before pulling it out and throwing it away.

“How’s your voice?” Kevin asked, stepping beside Brian.

Brian shrugged. “I think it’ll be okay. After lunch, I’ll wait until soundcheck.”

“So is this a new thing?” Alex asked, reaching for the ibuprofen.

Shrugging again, Brian sipped his tea. “New doc. Says it’s probably better to rest as much as possible. I’m glad we’ve got two days between the first show and the second.”

“You gonna be able to handle three back to back?” Kevin asked, chugging a bottle of water.

“Yeah, I’m grateful for those two days off,”

“So where are we going for your birthday?” Howie asked, putting a hand on Nick’s shoulder.

Brian stepped away, knowing that he really didn’t care where they went. He was going to go quiet after lunch and was glad that he wasn’t going to have to say anything for the next two days. It was going to give him some time just be with himself. But at the same time, he knew it was going to be difficult. His son was coming and he would want answers; answers Brian didn’t have.

A set of double run-throughs with a break in the middle and everyone was exhausted. It was a little after five in the evening. Brian sighed. As he leaned against a wall, catching his breath, Nick tossed him a towel. Brian wiped the sweat from his face and neck. He smiled at his best friend. Everyone around him was doing something similar: towels, sports drinks, water.

As Nick caught his breath, he looked at the other four men in the room. Brian caught his eye and nodded. “Okay, so let’s go get cleaned up and meet up at Andiamo in like…” he glanced at the clock, “two hours.” Brian nodded and headed towards the table in the corner. Once there, he grabbed a jar of honey and a spoon. Opening the jar, he dipped the spoon in it and then turned it upside down and sucked on it. “I should Instagram this,” Nick said walking up beside him. “The fans would go berzerk!”

Brian shook his head as he slowly pulled the spoon out of his mouth.

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” Nick reassured his friend. “Honey and tea, huh?” Brian nodded. “If it helps, I guess.” Brian shrugged as Nick dropped his arm around his shoulder. “Go get cleaned up,” Nick said. “I’ll meet you at seven-thirty, okay?”

As Brian and his bodyguard headed back to the hotel, Brian sent a hasty text to Nick, “You know the fans don’t know about my silent periods.”

Nick texted back. “I know. But what if it doesn’t work?”

Brian sighed as he climbed out of the car and headed inside the hotel and into an elevator. “I don’t know yet,” he replied. There had been some mentions of surgery when Brian had actually been in to see his ENT. But nothing definitive yet. Dragging himself into his room, he stripped as he walked to the shower. He wasn’t as sore as he had been two weeks prior, but it was definitely time for another round of ibuprofen and a hot shower to relax his muscles and clear the sweat from his body. As he stood there, letting the water cascade of his body, he began to think. His son was coming in the next day, not his wife. He probably wouldn’t see her at all. She’d already said she wouldn’t be there when he got home. What was she doing? He felt there was someone else, but she had said there wasn’t.

The water was getting cold when Brian realized he needed to get out. Rolling his eyes, he turned off the water and reached for a towel. He felt a little better and his muscles didn’t ache as much. His brain was as full as ever though. Part of him really didn’t want to go out, but he knew he probably should. Reaching for about the dressiest thing he had, he slowly got dressed and made sure he had enough charge on his phone to get through the evening with the guys, knowing he’d likely be texting a whole lot more than he liked.

Before he knew it, Mike was at the door and they were headed off to the steakhouse that Nick had picked for his birthday dinner. They had a table to themselves in the back. Howie’s wife, Leigh, and Kevin’s wife, Kristin, were also in town and joined them along with Nick’s wife. Lauren. The fact that three of the wives were joining them made Brian exceptionally nervous. They were all friends. Brain wondered if Leighanne had told any of them her “plans.” As drink orders were taken, Kristin turned to Brian, “How are you doing with the silence?” Brian shrugged. He tried not to read too much into it, knowing that Kevin had probably clued his wife in when he saw her.

“All for a good show,” Kevin added and Brian nodded.

Brian was actually glad to keep quiet for this dinner. Most of them nearly forgot he was there. Thankfully, Howie remembered how he liked his steak and the group was able to order for him without too much hassle. Dessert came complete with a lit candle on a slab of chocolate cake. Brian joined as best he could in the festivities. Nick was trying his best to include Brian, but all Brian could do was smile.

As the night broke up, Leigh gave Brian a hug and wished him well and Lauren did the same. He hoped they were just talking about his voice. Sighing, he headed back to his room and tried not to think about things. His mind was racing. What was he going to tell Baylee when he got in the next day?

**January 29, 2022  
Las Vegas, Nevada**

Brian awoke to his alarm going off. Rolling over on the bed he sighed. Today was a total vocal rest day. No words, no sounds, nothing. He would break it for soundcheck and the first meet and greet the next day and follow up with the honey and tea regime and a vocal warm-up that was probably longer than he would've done back in the day.

And to add to things, his son was arriving in the late morning plus a full dress rehearsal in the afternoon. And between when Baylee arrived and the rehearsal his credentials had to be cleared. He knew it wouldn't take long, but it was required. He knew that Kevin, Howie, and Nick's families were all taking care of it that morning, so it was probably better that Baylee did his a little later. The poor event people were processing nine people that morning. It was never easy with fingerprints and photos to be taken plus paperwork to be filled out.

Brian dressed slowly and started a fresh pot of hot water. Time dragged by as he waited. He spent some time in the gym, but eventually wound up back in his room, waiting. When his phone pinged with a message from Mike saying he had Baylee and then a moment later with a selfie from Bay that had a very grumpy looking buzz cut bodyguard in it, Brian had to stop himself from laughing out loud. "Headed your way," the photo was captioned.

"Why was Mike grumpy?" Brian texted back.

"When isn't he?" Baylee countered. He then added, "Got stopped by a couple of fans."

Brian smiled. "Makes sense now," he replied.

The two chatted back and forth until Baylee sent a photo of the outside of the casino with the money shot of the residency announcement of opening night. "See you in a few."

"You're in the residency block, cuz I figured you were finally old enough to have your own room," Brian sent to his son. He then added in his own room number and told him to get settled before coming his way.

"Thanks, Dad," was the response. A little while later, there was a knock on Brian’s door. Upon opening it, he saw his son standing there. He engulfed him in a hug and led him inside. Reading his father’s worried look, Baylee said, “Are you okay, Dad?”

Brian nodded and pulled out his cellphone and pointed at Bay to do the same. He hated having text conversations in the same room, but it was so hard to convey what he needed to without his voice. “Yeah,” he typed. “Just tired.”

“Well, if you’d actually release that album of yours,” Baylee said, as he sat down on the couch opposite his father.

Brian shook his head. “It’s not ready yet,” he texted his son.

“Is it ever going to be ready?” Brian shrugged. “If you’d release it and do a mini-tour, you could literally stand in place and sing versus all this dancing you guys do. Then you wouldn’t hurt so much.”

Brian sighed. “I know,” he typed. “But the group takes priority.”

Baylee nodded as he glanced at his phone. “I know. But you guys have been going pretty much non stop since twenty seventeen.”

Closing his eyes, Brian relished a memory of twenty years prior. Looking at his phone, he typed, “Yeah, like it was back when I met your mom.”

Baylee raised an eyebrow as he read his father’s text. “Speaking of Mom. Why do you think she’s not coming tomorrow?” Brian shrugged. “I mean, doesn’t she always make time for your opening night?”

“She tries,” was Brian’s response.

“But it seemed like she went out of her way to be busy.”

“What do you mean?” Brian asked in text.

Sighing, Baylee shook his head. “I don’t know really. It just seems like she would’ve had it on the calendar weeks ago and wouldn’t have scheduled a trip to Nashville during it.”

“But aren’t you recording on Wednesday?”

Baylee nodded when he read the text. “Yeah.”

Brian smiled. “Then she’s probably getting you the right people for that.” Brian knew he was really saying that for Baylee’s benefit. He knew it had nothing to do with Baylee’s recording, at least he didn’t think it did.

“But why couldn’t she have done that over the phone and still come out here?”

Shrugging, Brian leaned back and put his elbow on the arm of the sofa. Looking at his phone, he texted, “I don’t know, Bub. You’d have to ask your mother that.” He glanced at the clock on his phone and then added, “Let’s go get lunch and then we can head to the theatre and you can get your credentials before dress rehearsal.”

Laughing slightly as he stood up with his father, he said, “See, one more reason you should release that album: dress rehearsal.” Brian shook his head as he led his son out of the room.

After lunch, Brian helped Baylee get processed into the event and then gave him the quick tour of the main areas backstage. He left Baylee with Kristin and Leigh and headed off to get changed for rehearsal. They were going to run full-on, with a backing track for Brian that day, so he could continue to rest his voice but they could still check lighting cues and mark locations. It was destined to be a long one because they sometimes had to run numbers twice or parts multiple times to make sure the lighting was right or the pyro was timed correctly.

By the time they finished that evening, it had taken them almost three hours to run through a show that was timed at about an hour and forty-five minutes. The younger kids were all staring at either game systems or tablets with headphones on. Baylee was going between watching the performance and talking with his “aunts.” Brian caught a glimpse of them during a down moment and pretty much figured that Baylee was asking about his mother. But thankfully, it seemed that none of the wives knew anything about what she was doing. In a way, Brian was glad, but he was also frustrated. He wanted to know what was going on. Were his suspicious correct in that there was another man involved? Or was he just completely overreacting?

That night, he and his son shared a quiet dinner consisting of room service in front of the television. Baylee bowed out around ten, claiming jet lag. Brian stayed up a little while longer and wound up dosing himself with Advil PM to take care of the aches and insomnia he was dealing with. He wanted to be well-rested for the next day. As he lay there, waiting for the sleep aid to take effect, he wondered if his voice was going to be okay to sing. He wondered what his wife was doing and where she was. He wondered where she would be when he finally got home in three weeks.

**February 14, 2022  
** **Planet Hollywood  
** **Las Vegas, Nevada**

Brian sat in his room that night reflecting on things. Nick was out with his wife for Valentine’s Day. Kevin, Alex, and Howie were likely on the phone with their wives. The previous night, Nick had asked where Leighanne was. It was understandable that Kristin, Rochelle, and Leigh weren’t in town as all the kids were still in school. But Baylee was the first “Backstreet Kid” to move out. Wouldn’t that free up some time for Leighanne? At least that was the argument Nick had used. Brian had shrugged him off, saying she must be busy. He reminded Nick that Leighanne was still Baylee’s manager and she did also run the event business they had. 

Brian held his phone and stared at it. He couldn’t bring himself to attempt to call Leighanne. She had said he could call, but she hadn’t been answering his calls for a while now. If he called now would she even answer?

Brian sighed and drank his tea in silence, staring at the television, watching the stats scroll on the bottom. The three day straight runs were draining. At least they were moving the Sunday shows to Monday on the next time around. They’d have Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday off. They all thought it was better that way and Brian agreed. His voice was struggling; even with all the rest he still felt the strain on his voice. Nick, Howie and Alex and their own reasons for wanting Sunday off. They had decided to continue the tradition of afterparties but only on Friday or Saturday nights. So having Sunday off gave them the time they needed to rest from the extra-long nights. Brian was never one to attend afterparties. They weren’t his style. He wasn’t much of a party person. He’d rather be curled up in front of the television watching highlights. 

Brian stretched out and pulled a blanket over the top of him. It was the first Valentine’s Day he had had in a long time that he didn’t know what to do. Usually, he would’ve called and ordered flowers for his wife. He actually had ordered flowers weeks ago, back before he’d left Atlanta. But shortly after he’d arrived in Vegas, he’d called to cancel the delivery. Part of him knew he should have probably left the delivery and tried to get on Leighanne’s good side, but after she’d told him what she did before he left, he couldn’t bring himself to keep the order. Sighing, he allowed himself to just sink into his feelings. He had four shows left on this set. After his birthday he’d get to go home. But what was home going to be like? He lay there and wondered what was going to happen when he got home.

**February 20, 2022  
** **Chateau Nightclub VIP  
** **Las Vegas, Nevada**

The idea to go to the nightclub had been Nick’s. He had specifically booked it as a private party, even though it was at the same club they used for their own afterparties. Sure, they could’ve just gone out to a late dinner, but Nick had realized that Brian had been “off.” He thought taking him out for his birthday would help.

It wasn’t until they got on stage that night, that they realized the empty chair in the circle. They had seats reserved specifically for family. And they had a special birthday surprise planned for Brian and were going to bring his wife up on stage that night, but the plans had been changed mid-number when Howie realized Leighanne’s reserved seat was empty. They still did the cake, still had the whole theatre sing “Happy Birthday” to him, but didn’t ask about it until they got to the club.

Once they were settled, and wine and champagne had been ordered, Nick was the one to bring up the elephant in the room. “Hey Bri, where’s Leighanne?” Brian shook his head, taking a drink from his wine glass.

“Come on, Birthday Boy, she’s never been one to miss a birthday show.” Alex placed a hand around Brian’s shoulders. In his hand was a clear soda.

“I don’t know,” Brian replied, taking another drink to try and avoid talking about why his wife wasn’t there. He stepped away from Alex.

“You don’t know?” Kevin asked from his perch on the sofa in the room.

“Is she even in town?” Howie inquired. Brian shrugged.

Nick walked over and looked at Brian, who was leaning against the wall. He set his glass down on a table. “You know, you’ve been kinda off this whole time. Like since we got here.” Brian shook his head again.

“What’s up?” Kevin leaned forward and took a slow drink of his wine.

“Nothing,” Brian told them. “Really,” he added.

“Come on, Bri, what’s going on?” Howie probed, sitting down in a chair.

Sighing, Brian grabbed his wine glass. Tossing back the wine, he walked over to the open bottle and refilled the glass. He lowered himself down on the couch and placed his elbows on his knees, letting the glass dangle in his hand momentarily. He sat there staring at the men around him. “She’s not here.”

“We figured that one out,” Alex scoffed.

“She won’t be there when I get home, either,” he said softly. The men in the room froze. Brian stared at the ground in front of him. “Siberia,” he whispered. Everyone stared at him.

Kevin leaned over. “What do you mean?”

“I fly out tomorrow morning. She won’t be there to pick me up. She won’t be at the house.” The noise of the club, the music, the dull sound of the voices all seemed to fade away.

“Are you sure?” Nick walked over and placed himself between Brian and Kevin on the sofa. Brian nodded slowly.

Howie sighed. “But why?”

Brian swirled the wine in the glass in his hand before draining it a second time. He reached for the bottle but Kevin got up and walked over. He put his hand on top of Brian’s. “Nope. You’re done. You wanna get smashed over it, do it in your room. Not here.” Brian glared at his cousin, but relaxed, knowing he was right. He didn’t need to cause a scene. Time dragged on for Brian. The conversation changed direction and eventually, around one, the group decided it was time to head out as most had planes to catch the next morning.

As the group was leaving the nightclub, a man approached them. All five bodyguards drew themselves up and fanned out around the five celebrities. “I’m looking for a Mister Brian Littrell?” the man asked. The whole group froze. Brian slowly pushed his way to the front to where this man was standing. He glanced sideways at his personal bodyguard and shook his head. 

“I’m Brian,” he said, taking a side step beside his bodyguard. 

The man held out a nine by twelve manila envelope. Brian took the envelope from his hand. “You’ve been served, Mister Littrell.” The man tipped his head and turned around. 

The group collapsed in on each other, the four celebrities exchanging confused looks. Brian turned the envelope over and slowly opened it. He pulled a small stack of papers partly out of the envelope so he could read them in the glaring overhead light. Sighing, he turned around and handed the envelope to Kevin. “Best. Birthday. Ever…” he deadpanned.

The other three rushed to see around Kevin’s hands as he pulled the papers out of the envelope. “She’s divorcing you?” Nick asked.

“What?”

“There’s no way.”

“You’ve been married for twenty years.”

The words seemed to mix in Brian’s ears. He just shrugged his shoulders and the group headed to the two vans they had taken there. They literally could have walked there from their venue, but knew that would have been a bigger mistake, especially after a show. Instead, Howie, Kevin, and Alex, along with their bodyguards climbed into one van, while Nick and Brian and their bodyguards climbed into another. Kevin, Howie, and Alex were staying at different hotels, while Brian was staying at their resident hotel and Nick had parked there so he was going to be driven home by his bodyguard.

As soon as the doors closed, Nick looked at Brian. “Dude, why is she divorcing you?” Brian held the envelope in his fist. He shrugged. “You have to have some idea.”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I think there might be someone else, but she denies it.”

“What are you gonna do?”

Again, Brian shrugged. “If I hadn’t already had this flight booked weeks ago, I’d take a later one. I mean, I already know she’s not going to be there when I get home. Part of me doesn’t want to go home.”

“So what are you going to do now?” Nick asked as they pulled into the underground parking for VIPs.

Brian undid his seatbelt. “I guess I have some calls to make when I get back to Atlanta. And some packing to do. Beyond that. I don’t really know.” 

The two best friends hugged and Nick told Brian to text or call when he got to Atlanta, which Brian promised to do. They then went their separate ways, Nick heading with his bodyguard to his car and Brian following his own bodyguard up to his suite. Once they reached the floor Brian was staying on, Mike said, “I’m really sorry, man.”

“Did you know?” Brian asked as they walked down the hallway.

“No way,” the muscular man replied. “And if I did, I would’ve tipped you off.”

“Thanks,” Brian replied, reaching into his back pocket for his card key as they arrived at his room.

“I’ll be here in the morning to get you, okay?” Mike said.

Brian nodded as he entered his room and then turned to close and lock the door. Turning back around, he reached for the light switch. Flicking it on, he slowly made his way to the couch. He tossed the envelope on the coffee table. It slid a bit before coming to rest next to a bottle of wine. On the coffee table was a bottle of cabernet that had a bow on it. It was from the wives. Kristin had obviously organized it and made sure it had been delivered before the show. Brian had left it on the table after he had gotten it that afternoon, thinking that it might be a nice way to end the night. Glancing up on the kitchenette counter, he saw the corkscrew and a fresh wine glass. Even though it was after one in the morning and he had a plane to catch in roughly eight hours, he still popped the bottle and poured himself another glass. He sat there sipping the wine while staring at the envelope. He knew he was already packed. He tried to make a list in his head of what he needed to do when he got home. But the alcohol was making it fuzzy. He didn’t usually drink a lot. A glass of wine here or there, but today was his birthday. He was forty-seven and he was apparently going to be getting divorced. He knew one of the calls he would likely need to make would be to Leighanne. He needed to talk to her. He didn’t want to end this.

As he finished his glass, he glanced at his phone and double-checked that he had an alarm set for the morning. He saw that it was almost two and his alarm was set for six. Groaning, he set his empty glass on the table and laid his head back on the back of the couch.

He didn’t realize he had fallen asleep in that position until he heard his alarm go off that morning. Squinting, he saw he’d left the lights on and had slept in his clothes. He’d only gotten about four hours of sleep. As he pulled his sore body off the couch and felt his neck crack as he moved it. He dragged himself to the bedroom portion of his suite and saw he had just enough time to run through the shower and change clothes before Mike showed up. He did that and repacked his suitcase, knowing he was definitely going to be bringing less the next time he was in Vegas.

Right as Mike knocked on the door, he wheeled his suitcase with his duffle on top towards the exit. He grabbed the envelope and slid it into an outside pouch of the suitcase not wanting to spend the next six hours staring at it. The bodyguard and the celebrity got checked out of the hotel and headed to the airport. They said little and Brian knew they likely wouldn’t say much the entire four-hour flight. He knew even it was four hours long, it would seem like more because it would be about six hours later than when he left when he finally landed. While they were waiting, he popped a couple of Tylenol to hopefully stop the headache that he had forming.

After boarding and take off, Brian slid his earbuds in, snapped a selfie and posted it to Instagram. He then put his phone in airplane mode and closed his eyes. He dozed in and out throughout the flight, his headache slowly getting worse, even with the Tylenol on board. As they landed, Brian turned his baseball cap around and pulled the brim down. He had a pair of sunglasses stashed in his suitcase. Mike offered to drive him home, but they lived on opposite sides of town. He requested a Lyft and gathered his belongings from the luggage carousel. 

Riding back to his house, Brian had a sinking feeling in his stomach. He almost knew what he would find. Arriving at the house that afternoon, he stood outside and sent a text to Nick, saying he was home. He stood there with his suitcase in one hand dragging on the ground behind him, his phone in the other, staring up at the house. Slowly he pocketed his phone and dug his keys out of his duffle bag. He dragged his rolling suitcase behind him as he slowly moved up the walkway to the door. Setting his bag down outside the door and used his key in the deadbolt. Opening the door, he was surprised he was greeted by silence. The dogs weren’t there. Grabbing his suitcase, he dragged it inside the foyer and closed the door behind him. He dropped his keys on the entry table and looked around. He left his suitcase and duffle bag there in the entryway and walked towards the stairs. On the second stair from the bottom was a piece of paper. Reaching down, he picked up the paper and slowly unfolded it. “If you wanna talk, call me,” was all it said. Brain closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. His headache seemed to be getting worse. He crumpled the paper in his other hand and tossed it aside.


	3. New Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry if this is a long one!

## Chapter Two: New Love

**February 21, 2022**  
**Littrell Residence**  
**Atlanta, Georgia**

Brian had no idea how long he had stood in his entryway. The house felt eerie. He eventually walked away and found that the pillow and blanket were still on the couch where he had left them folded six weeks prior. He heard his phone ring but didn’t answer it. After some amount of time, he found the strength to move. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he saw that Nick had called him. He decided against calling back. He made a slow circle around the living room before finally collapsing on the sofa and burying his face in his hands. None of this was true. It was a dream, a nightmare. He’d wake up from it and everything would be back to normal.

As he sat there on the couch, he thought about what he needed to do. Getting up, he walked over to his suitcase and pulled out the envelope. Planting himself back down on the couch, he set his phone on his lap and the envelope beside him. Where was he going to live? Leighanne was obviously kicking him out if she had said he could take what he wanted. What was he going to take? Where was he going to put it? His mind swam with questions.

He knew he was going to have to call Leighanne at some point. Whether they reconciled or actually went through with the divorce there were things that needed to be discussed. He just really didn’t feel like talking to her right then.

Staring at his phone, he jumped when it rang. Glancing at the caller ID, he saw that it was his cousin. Sighing, he slid the button to answer the call and put it on speaker since there was no one there to overhear his conversation.

“Hello?” he asked, his voice seeming to echo in the large empty house.

“Hey, Cuz, how are you doing?”

Brian closed his eyes. What a question. How was he doing? “About as good as to be expected. Leighanne’s not here. The dogs aren’t here.”

“So what are you going to do?” Kevin asked on the other end.

Sighing, Brian picked up his phone and held it in his hand. He looked over at the envelope next to him. He should probably read all the papers enclosed but really didn’t want to look at them. “I guess I need a lawyer…” he paused, “and a place to stay.”

Coughing, Kevin said, “Atlanta’s big enough. You could stay there.”

“I know,” Brian added. “But I don’t know if I can. I mean, I know Bay is around and it would probably be easier, but I just don’t know if I could do that.”

“Hurts too much?”

“You could say that.”

Kevin coughed again, clearing his throat. “You could always come stay with us. We’ve got plenty of space and I know the boys would love having you around.”

Brian took a long breath. “I don’t know, Kev. I mean, how would that work?”

“Well, what did she tell you?” he asked carefully.

Biting his lip, Brian sighed again. “She said I could take what I wanted.”

“So pack up some clothes and head out here. Anything you don’t want to bring with you now put in storage.”

Brian stood up slowly and began to pace the floor holding his phone. “Really, Kev? Moving out to LA? Wouldn’t that be hard?”

“No harder than just moving across town.”

“I really don’t know right now, Kev.”

Kevin sighed on the other end. “I understand, Bri. But the offer stands. If you wanna come out here, we’ve got a space for you.”

Brian smiled weakly. “Thanks. I’ll keep it in mind.” The two cousins said goodbye and hung up.

Realizing he was hungry and that there probably wasn’t anything to eat in the house because who knew when Leighanne had last been there, he glanced at his phone. What did he feel like eating? He wasn’t even sure if he really was hungry, but he knew he hadn’t eaten all day. Opening up one of the food delivery apps, he found something that looked decent and requested it be delivered to him.

While he waited, he opened up his contacts and scrolled through them. Coming to rest on a friend he hadn’t spoken to in a while, he opened up the text messages and sent three words to his friend Mark Hall, lead singer of Casting Crowns. “Pray for me.” He knew Mark wouldn’t ask a lot of questions. But at least if he needed help, Mark might be able to organize the youth he worked with to help him.

The response came back moments later, “Sure, anything specific?”

Brian stared at the response. It was pretty standard from Mark. “No,” was all Brian typed back.

“You got it, brother.”

Brian sighed and put his phone in his pocket. He had somehow wound up walking into the kitchen. He stopped and stared. He didn’t remember how he got there. He’d just been walking aimlessly around the house while he was on the phone with Kevin.

He knew he needed to get things done, but he wasn’t entirely sure what and in what order.

Once his food arrived, he picked at it. He ate a bit but didn’t really touch much. The house was silent. It felt heavy. He left what he had ordered on the coffee table and turned on the television. It was getting dark. He curled up on the couch and stared at the screen.

**March 1, 2022**  
**Littrell Residence**  
**Atlanta, Georgia**

It had taken a couple of days for Brian to begin to put things in order. He woke on the couch and looked around. There were boxes stacked in the living room and rolls of bubble wrap on the floor. Brian still had his clothes and the studio to do. He’d managed to pack most of the plaques and awards that were scattered around the house. Slowly, he dragged a box and a roll of bubble wrap into the studio. He glanced around at the plaques on the wall. Sighing he began packing things, including the four Dove awards he kept there in the studio. He stopped and reached down and picked up a guitar on a stand and held it in his hands. Sighing he placed it back and went looking for the case for the guitar.

As he was searching for the case in a closet, his phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, he sighed before answering it.

“Mister Littrell,” came the voice of his lawyer on the end, “we need to talk.”

Brian stopped what he was doing and sat down in a chair. He really didn’t want to talk about the divorce. He had tried to call Leighanne several times, only to get her voicemail and no return calls.

He had a lengthy conversation with his lawyer, talking about what the split of property and business was going to be, what they would fight for, and other various things. He was left with the notion that he had to get in touch with his soon to be ex-wife. If they couldn’t talk these things out, the court battle was likely to be nasty. His lawyer had asked him why he hadn’t done a pre-nup. Brian had no answer to that. They were planning on being together forever. There wasn’t the possibility of them getting divorced. At least that was the thought twenty years ago.

As he finished up with his lawyer, he turned around and looked at what he was packing. The box he was packing was going to be shipped to his cousin’s place. For some reason, he wanted those items close to him. Sighing, he went back to work. After a while, he went upstairs. Closing his eyes as he reached the bedroom door, he slowly turned the doorknob. Sighing, he opened the door and stepped into the room.

He avoided looking at the bed, avoided looking around. Instead, he headed straight for the closet and began pulling out clothes. Most of his clothes were going to be packed and stored. He’d already purchased a storage unit with the intent of eventually moving everything he wanted to where he would eventually be moving to. Unfortunately, he didn’t know where that was at that moment. He was going to be headed out to California to stay with his cousin for a while. After that, he didn’t know. He might find a place there, he might move elsewhere. The options and possibilities were endless.

It took Brian a few more days to get things moved out of his house and into the storage unit. His last night in his house, he sat on the couch and stared at his left hand. Slowly he spun the ring on his finger. It had been there for twenty-one years. He never took it off, unless it was absolutely necessary. He had designed it to go with Leighanne’s engagement ring and wedding band. Carefully he spun the ring until it slid off into his right hand. Staring at the circle on his palm, he closed his fingers over it. Letting the emotion fill him, he stood up and slowly walked up the stairs. Pushing the bedroom door open, he stopped and stared at the room for a minute. The bed was still made. Holding his breath and squeezing the ring in his hand tighter in a fist, he walked over to the bed. Stopping on his side, he let his breath out that he’d be holding and slowly opened his fist. Staring at the ring in his hand, he fought back the memories that flooded his vision. Biting his lip, he slid the ring around in his hand until he had between his index finger and his thumb. He stared at the golden circle, the symbol of their love and commitment. What was it now? Carefully he laid the ring down on what was his pillow. Closing his eyes, he turned and marched out of the room quickly, closing the door behind him.

The next morning, he flew out of Atlanta for what he felt would be one of the last times. He had purchased a one-way ticket. It had taken him two weeks to get what he wanted out and to get himself together. He sent a text message to Leighanne as he was sitting in the airport saying as much. Surprisingly, she answered. “Call me when you get settled,” it said. He scoffed at it. He’d been trying to call and she wouldn’t answer. What would make the next time any different?

Climbing into his first-class window seat on the plane, he slid his earbuds in and closed his eyes. He couldn’t believe all this was happening. He couldn’t believe everything he had worked so hard for was falling apart. He knew he should probably call the group’s publicist and let her know, but he just couldn’t make that call right then. Would this really hurt the group? And then there was the fact that he did have a Christian album just about complete. He just wasn’t sure when he was going to release it. At this point, he didn’t know _if_ the album was going to be released.

Glancing at his phone, he made sure it was in airplane mode and his seatbelt was fastened before take off. He had about a five-hour flight that would get him to Los Angeles about two hours after he “left.” Kevin was going to meet him at the airport. From there, they’d go to Kevin’s place where Brian was likely going to just curl up in bed and let jet lag take him for a while. Kevin told him he would try to keep the boys from bugging him. Brian smiled softly at the thought of Mason and Max trying to stay quiet. His two little cousins were always so full of boundless energy when Brian was around. But maybe that was because Brian was usually full of energy too. Brian wasn't sure how much energy he was going to have. He most certainly felt like he had been zapped of it all lately. Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes and waited for takeoff.

**March 8, 2022  
Los Angeles, California**

It had taken Brian's body a week to adjust to sleeping in a bed again. He had spent two weeks sleeping on the couch at home. When Kristin, Kevin's wife had set him up in the guest room, he had almost denied it. His neck and back ached all week as he found he could stretch out again.

He left his car in Atlanta and had decided to buy a new one. He needed the ability to get around by himself. And after a week of staying at his cousin’s house, he was beginning to realize the need for his own space. He knew the buying process would take time so he figured he’d better get on the move into finding someplace for himself. He asked Kevin who his realtor was when he bought his house there. Unfortunately, his relator had left the area, but the company he worked for was willing to talk to Brian. After having found a car that would fit his life now, small, hybrid, he drove himself to the realtor’s office to set things in motion to find a place of his own. He parked in front of an office building that said Realtor to the Stars: Anthony Valtori and the Dream Team. Climbing out of the car, he straightened his polo shirt as he closed his door. Walking into the building, he slid his sunglasses off and hooked them onto the collar of his shirt. A young red-headed woman with a headset on looked up from her computer. “Hi. Do you have an appointment?”

Brian paused. “Uh, yeah, with Tyson Tigg.”

The woman smiled and then pressed a button on the phone before she said, “Tyson, your ten o’clock is here.”

A moment later a man in a navy suit and tie came out of the back. He was a little taller than Brian with sweeping dark hair and a charming smile. He held out his hand to Brian, “Mister Littrell, it’s good to meet you.” Brian shook his hand and forced a smile on his face. “Come, let’s talk,” the man said, leading Brian behind the desk and off down a short hallway. They stopped at an office and the realtor held the door open for Brian before closing it behind him. Brian sat down on a chair and leaned forward as the man walked behind the desk and sat down. “So, Mister Littrell, what can I do for you? Vacation home? New sprawling estate?”

Brian sighed deeply before saying, “No. Something simple.” The realtor tipped his head to the side. Brian looked down at his hand. It seemed strange to not have anything on his hand. He felt empty. Looking back at the man across the desk from him, he said softly, “More of a bachelor pad.” 

The realtor pushed a file folder he had in front of him off to the side. “Okay,” the man said slowly. “So what are you looking for then? Single bedroom, bathroom?” 

Brian nodded. “I don’t think I’ll need much,” he said quietly. “I’ll be back and forth between here and Vegas for a while.”

The man nodded and turned towards his computer. “Rent? Or Own?” he asked, pulling up what he needed.

Brian closed his eyes for a moment. “Probably own,” he said. “Cash sale. No mortgage.”

“Price point?”

Shrugging, Brian said, “Doesn’t really matter. I don’t need anything elaborate.”

The realtor nodded and pulled up some listings for Brian to view. “I can arrange viewings of any of these if you’d like.”

Brian sighed. He really didn’t want to look at houses. He liked his house in Atlanta. Slowly he began to whittle down what he wanted in an apartment or a small house. After looking at several listings, he decided on a few he wanted to see and Tyson said he’d arrange it. Brian left the realtor’s office feeling exhausted. He really didn’t want to look for a new place to live, but he knew he couldn’t live at his cousin’s house forever.

A few days later, Brian hadn’t even gotten to see anything yet, when his cousin came into the living room where Brian was staring at places on reatlor.com on his laptop on the coffee table in front of him. “You might wanna fire your realtor,” Kevin said sitting down beside him.

Brian glanced sideways at him. “Why?” 

Kevin reached over and typed in a popular tabloid website. It loaded and after a moment, there was shot of Brian there in Los Angeles coming out of a Starbucks with a cup of coffee. Under it, were the words, “Backstreet Boy is now Backstreet Bachelor.” Brian skimmed the words in the brief article and saw that not only had they dug up the divorce paperwork, but also, there was a mention of him looking for a “bachelor pad.”

Sighing, he looked at his cousin. “Guess we knew it was gonna break at some time.” Kevin nodded. “But yeah, guess I find a new realtor.”

It started slowly. Brian’s phone rang on the coffee table beside him. Glancing at it, he saw that it was one of his “famous friends,” Carson Daly, calling. He ignored it and let it go to voicemail. He had known Carson for over twenty years. As soon as his phone quit ringing, it rang again. Looking down, he saw that it was JoJo Wright, a DJ for KIIS FM whom he had also known for the past two decades. He also let it go to voicemail. There was a ping of a message and Brian picked up his phone. It was from Mark Hall. It simply said, “Now I understand. Praying for you.” Brian smiled. Leave it to Mark to do things simply. Other calls tried to come in and Brian finally just put his phone on silent and ignored everything. Looking over at Kevin beside, he shook his head. “Guess the whole world knows now.”

Kevin smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.”

The pair sat there and stared at the screen for a moment in silence. They both jumped when Kevin’s cell phone rang. Exchanging looks, Kevin told his cousin, “They’d better not start calling me to console you. I _will_ change my number.” Brian smiled faintly as Kevin answered his phone. “Yeah,” Kevin replied. “Yeah, he’s right here, hang on.” Kevin passed the phone to his cousin saying, “It’s Pat. She sounds pissed.”

Brian squeezed his eyes shut and put a hand on his head as he accepted the phone from Kevin. Pat was their long-time publicist. She was usually pretty chill about anything they needed. Except she didn’t like to be caught off guard, which is what Brian had pretty much done. “Hello?” he asked quietly.

“Hi, Brian,” Pat began sweetly. “How are you doing?”

Brian shrugged, knowing she couldn’t see it. “About as good as to be expected.”

“You’re a hard man to catch when you turn your phone off. But then again, it’s probably ringing off the hook, right?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Friends.”

“Uh-huh. You should hear my office. I’ve got media requests pinging like crazy. I thought they were all from this residency and things were good. But imagine my surprise when one of my underlings brings me in this screenshot print of this ‘bachelor’ post…” Her tone had started light but gradually got darker.

“I know,” he said softly. “I should’ve called you the day after I was served, but it was just too hard.”

Pat’s tone softened a bit. “I can’t even imagine, sweetie. But you need to come down here and talk to me, today. You need to get a statement out.”

“Yeah. I’m on my way.” He sighed and closed his laptop. He hung up Kevin’s phone and handed it back to him. “Guess I’m headed out to go talk to Pat.”

“Isn’t it kinda late?” It was about three in the afternoon on Friday.

Brian shrugged as he grabbed his own phone. “You know Pat,” he said as he scrolled through his missed calls which were already over twenty. “I don’t think I’ll be home for dinner. I’ll find something though.” Kevin nodded, knowing meetings with Pat could sometimes take a while and with traffic, it could take even longer.

As Brian headed out to his meeting with his publicist, he called his realtor and fired him. That was the first step in solving what he knew was going to be a big problem. It took an hour to get Pat’s office and thankfully Carla, her receptionist, said Pat was expecting him. Pat was on the phone staring out the window when Brian entered. Hearing the door, she waved him into a seat and finished her call. Smiling gently at him, she said, “How are you doing?” Brian shrugged. “Why don’t you tell me what happened?”

Brian sighed and started with his suspicions and led up to her telling him before he left for the Vegas run that she wouldn’t be there when he got back. “I probably should’ve called you then,” he said, “but I didn’t think it was really going to happen.” He paused and looked down at his hands. “And then I was served with papers when we came out of Chateau at the end of the run.”

“That was your birthday, right?”

“Yeah,” Brian whispered. “And then when I got home and she wasn’t there, I just didn’t know what to do. When I finally figured something out, I didn’t even think about what the press was going to say.”

Pat smiled gently. “Of course you didn’t. It’s your life. You were living it. It’s my job to deal with the press. So, you’ve been served. You have a lawyer. You’ve moved out here. Have you spoken with Leighanne?”

Brian bit his lip and closed his eyes. “I’ve tried. She obviously doesn’t want to talk to me yet.”

Pat nodded. “You want to reconcile?” Brian nodded. “Well, give me the weekend. It’s kind of late tonight to get something out. Just don’t do anything stupid.” She reached into her drawer and pulled out a business card. “And here, try this realtor. She understands how to actually deal with celebrities. She’s not going to go blab it to the tabloids that you’re looking.”

Brian took the card and stood up, thanking Pat for everything. It was now approaching six in the evening. Walking out, everything felt heavy again. Telling Pat the whole story was necessary but draining. He drove around for a while, looking for a place to snag something to eat. Deciding to just run through a drive-through and get something he could eat in the car, he sighed. He knew he should probably call Steve or Mike. He really needed to call Mike and get his recommendation on someone to be by his side in Los Angeles. But he really didn’t feel up to it right then.

Driving around, he noticed that it started to get dark. Not really feeling like he wanted to go back to Kevin’s place, he drove around until he found a hotel and checked into a room for the night. He really didn’t want to hang out at his cousin’s house. He wanted to just be by himself for a while.

Stretching out on the bed he stared at the ceiling for a bit. Telling Pat everything that had gone on, wore him out, but at the same time, he wasn’t tired in that he wanted to sleep. Looking at the clock he realized he had been there for an hour already and it was about eight-thirty. Sighing he sat up looked at his phone. Not only were there dozens of missed calls and voicemails, but there were also tons of text messages. He ignored most of them, but opened up Kevin’s string and sent him one saying he was going to be out that night and he didn’t want Kristin to start worrying. Kevin sent back right away, “You messaged just before she called the cops.” The winking emoji told Brian that Kevin was teasing, but that Kristin had been worried. He scrolled through his messages and saw that there wasn’t anything that he really needed to respond to. Nothing from Leighanne. And everything else was just people he knew trying to reach out to him.

Getting up, he looked at himself in the mirror and ran his hand through his hair. Deciding he looked decent enough, he headed downstairs and out onto the street. There was a bar across the street and headed for it, not really sure why. He wasn’t much of a drinker. He was so much of a lightweight, and the whole group knew it. He was the running joke back in the random drug testing days when AJ was eyeball deep in everything he was doing. The guys had all teased Brian saying that if he had anything in his system they would know in a heartbeat, no testing required. That was why Kevin had stopped him on his birthday. He knew between glasses three and four of wine was when Brian got sloppy. If he went with harder stuff, it was usually by the second drink.

Walking into the dimly lit bar, he sat down and waited for the bartender. Ordering his drink, he stared at it a minute. The ice glimmered in the light. He wasn’t sure what he was doing there. He was halfway through his glass when he felt someone slide up next to him. “Hey,” the person said. Glancing next to him, he was surprised. He knew from her voice that it was a woman, but looking at her, he could have been fooled by the lighting. She had Nick’s short haircut, but it was obviously dark. She wore jeans, a tee-shirt and a flannel hung open over it. It was almost as if she was trying to hide her body.

“Hey,” he said before taking a drink and turning towards her. He hoped he wasn’t starting to slur his words already.

“I haven’t seen you around,” she said. “You new in town?”

Brian grinned. He’d been hit on plenty of times, heard plenty of pick up lines, but that one was new to him. Maybe the lighting was throwing her off. Maybe it was the fact that he was in a bar. How did anyone _not_ recognize him? He shrugged. “You could say that,” he replied, hoping his accent didn't slip out like it sometimes did when he got a little liquor in him.

“You seem a little out of place here,” she said to him.

He shrugged. “Don’t usually hang out in bars. I’m more of a solitary person.”

He watched as she leaned over and sucked on her straw slowly. The action made Brian catch his breath. “Me too.” He saw her eyes glance over his hands and stop at the tan line on his left hand. “You’re not looking for a one night stand are you?”

Brian glanced at his hand before answering. “Not like that. I’m…” he paused looked for the right word, “recently single.” She gave him a look that said she didn’t quite believe him. “Seriously,” he told her. “It’s not like that.”

“So if it’s not what I’m thinking, what is it?”

He took another drink before he answered, “I left the ring for her because she doesn’t want to be married anymore.”

This statement seemed to placate the woman beside him. She took another drink from her straw. “So then what are you doing here if you’re a solitary person?”

Brian sighed. “Not sure. Maybe looking for something for the night.” He felt the truth in that statement because it had been months since he’d been with Leighanne. Sure, they’d had their dry spells before, but it had never gone on as long as this one had. It was one of the reasons that made him wonder about her possibly getting it from someone else. “What about you?”

The woman beside him shrugged. “Sounds like the same as you.”

Finishing his drink, he set the glass down and made eye contact with the bartender. He slid him a ten and then turned towards the woman beside him. “What do you say to two solitary people being together?”

“You gotta place nearby?”

Brian nodded and stood up. “I’m staying across the street.” He held out his hand to the woman on the stool beside him.

Looking up at him, she slowly stood up and placed her hand in his. She ran a hand over the back of her head and down her neck. She kept her head down as he led her out of the bar and across the street to the hotel he was staying at. They went upstairs and he unlocked the door, ushering her inside. Closing and locking the door behind him, he watched as she took two steps inside and turned around to look at him. He took a step towards her as she started to speak. “I’m…”

He placed a finger over her lips and whispered, “Shhh. No names. Just this.”

She nodded quietly as Brian slid his hands around her waist, underneath her flannel shirt. He pulled her body against his and only then realized he had a good eight inches on her. In some way, it felt strange to have someone that wasn’t his wife against him, but it also felt like the most right thing in the world. Leaning down, he pressed his lips to hers. It felt different than kissing his wife. There was a firey passion there that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Her hands slid around his waist while his hands moved up to her shoulders and slid the flannel down her arms. She let go of him long enough to let the shirt fall to the floor. Her fingers pulled at the hem of his shirt and eventually, her hands slid up his bare back, causing him to break the kiss and lean back slightly into her touch. Looking up at him, she smiled slightly.

Taking a breath, he looked at the woman in his arms, his gaze coming to rest in her brown eyes. He was glad he’d left the bedside lamp on so he could see her. She was unlike anyone he would’ve ever chosen. He’d only ever really had two serious relationships and both had looked vastly different than the woman before him. But there was something about this one. Something that felt like he could just take this time and not worry about things. As this petite woman slid her hands around to his stomach, he realized that did have to worry about some things and that he was not prepared for what he wanted to do. She pushed his shirt up and he ducked allowing her to take it off him. Blushing, he looked down at her. “It’s uh, been a while since…” He didn’t know how to say what he wanted to. “I, uh, kinda…” he paused again.

Smiling, the woman in front of him reached into the back pocket of her jeans. She pulled out a square package and placed it in his hand. “Don’t worry. I knew what I wanted tonight,” she whispered, before planting her lips to his.

Brian felt the passion fill him as he once again wrapped his arms around the woman with him. This time he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He carried over towards the bed and set her back on the floor, pulling her shirt up over her head as he did so. Being forced to pull away from her lips, he stopped and stared at her. “If this isn’t what you want…” he stated.

She slid both her hands down his bare chest and stopped at the button to his jeans. Smiling slightly, she said, “Yes, this is what I want.” Using her hands she started unbuttoning his pants and Brian’s hands went towards her jeans. The pair wasted no time in stripping each other of their clothes. Once they were both naked, Brian gently pushed the woman back up on the bed. He kissed her, and she slowly moved back up on the bed. He trailed his hands down her body, taking his time, relishing in the fact that someone was actually enjoying his touch and still didn’t seem to know who he was. His fingers probed the inside of her body, as she moaned and writhed at his touch. She whined when he pulled away, but gasped as he crawled up on her and grabbed her hands in his before slowly pushing himself inside her. As much as he wanted to rush, he forced himself to slow down, relishing the fact that he was actually still able to do this. Their lips met, their tongues danced as he found his rhythm and she matched him. He eventually let go of her hands, and she traced them down his back. His lips trailed down her neck. They both started to break a sweat as he felt her shift her weight. He was surprised when he found that he was on his back and she was straddling him, contact never having been lost. She sat up and ran her hands down his chest as she slowly ground her hips to his. “How long’s it been, Handsome?” she asked.

He gasped and reached for her hips. “Too long,” he said. She slowly started riding him and he lost himself in her eyes. He’d always dated blondes with blue eyes, very much like himself. Seeing her dark eyes, he somehow felt like he was missing something. Slowly, she leaned forward and reached for his shoulders. He continued to hold her as she groaned, pressing her body onto him. He felt his orgasm building in him, something he definitely hadn’t felt in almost a year. He could tell she was close too, the way she was groaning and her body reacting. He felt his body release and he gripped her to him, tipping his head back on the pillow, groaning. She laid her head on his chest and both allowed their breathing to return to normal. Slowly, she climbed off of him and slid away. He watched as she began searching for her clothes. Quickly, he got up, stripped the condom off and threw it in the trash, before reaching for her. “You don’t have to leave,” he said, gruffly, his voice faltering.

She had already slid her panties back on when she looked up at him. “Huh?” she asked.

“Don’t leave,” he gravelly whispered. “Stay with me.” She nodded slowly as he quickly slid on his boxer briefs and then pulled down the sheets on the bed. He watched as she climbed in and then slid in beside her, pulling her body to his. It felt good to have someone to hold for a moment. He lay there listening to her breathing and only allowed himself to relax fully when he felt her fall asleep in his arms.

He groaned as he felt her move. He didn’t dare open his eyes but knew it was morning. Somehow he dozed back off and woke about an hour later. He felt for the brunette he had fallen asleep with. Not feeling her body, he opened his eyes and saw that he was alone. Groaning, he got up and fished his clothes off the floor. He needed coffee and a Tylenol to fight off the headache he had forming. He also needed to check out and get back to the real world.

As he was heading back to Kevin’s place, he took the long way to clear his head. As he was driving, he hoped this mystery woman didn’t actually know who he was and was all of a sudden blasting it all over the Internet. He groaned and realized he needed something warm on his throat. He had surprised himself when he didn’t have much of a voice after sex. That hadn’t happened before. Then again, he hadn’t had much in a while. He drove through a Starbucks and sipped his drink as he drove back to Kevin’s place. Upon arriving back, he grunted as Kevin came up to him. “Rough night?” Brian glared up at his cousin. “You might want to turn your phone back on.” 

Reaching in his pocket and pulling out his phone, he realized the screen was black. He had forgotten his charger and figured that after all the craziness of the previous day, he had drained his battery. Heading back to his room, he plugged his phone in and headed back into the kitchen to start some hot water.

“You okay, Bri?” Kristin asked, sipping on a mug of coffee.

Brian fished out a tea bag and the honey. He shook his head slowly as he went about the process of making his tea. Taking his mug with him, he headed back to his room. He glanced at his phone on the charger and saw that he had about thirty percent already. Smiling that he was glad he had gotten the rapid charger, he turned his phone on. Right as he did that, it rang. He saw that it was Nick. He denied the call and then sent a message. “Can’t talk. Text.”

He sipped his tea as he waited for Nick to respond. After a minute, he saw Nick’s response. “What did you do?”

Brian sent a confused emoji. He really had no idea what Nick was talking about.

A moment later, a photo popped on his phone with a message that said, “This is everywhere.”

Setting his mug down on the nightstand, he stared at the small photo. He couldn’t really make it out. Using his fingers he blew it up and gasped. There he was, opening the door to his hotel room with the mystery woman beside him. As he let the picture drop back to the regular size, Nick sent him another message. “Everyone has it. The headlines are awful.” 

Brian groaned. Reaching for his laptop he dreaded turning it on. As he waited for it to boot up, Nick sent him another message. “So spill it. Did you sleep with her?”

Brian rolled his eyes before answering, “What do the tabloids say?”

“That you paid for it,” Nick responded.

Brian ran a hand down his face and realized that he hadn’t taken anything for his headache, which was gradually getting worse. Leaving his phone beside his laptop on the bed, he headed towards the bathroom and dug in the medicine cabinet for a dose of Tylenol. As he was headed back to the guest room to change his clothes and deal with what Nick had said, Kevin caught him. “You are the talk of the town,” he said, putting a hand on Brian’s shoulder. Brian glared at his older cousin. “What?” Kevin asked. Brian stared at him and then slowly turned around. 

Kristin came up as Brian shuffled down the hallway and said quietly, “I think his voice is gone again.” Brian heard Kevin curse as he closed the door to the guest room. Popping the two pills and then taking a drink of his tea he turned towards his suitcase and dug out a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt. He changed quickly and then went back to his phone. Nick had sent a questioning emoji in his absence and Brian quickly started typing again. “You know me better than that,” he typed. Then added, “Does she look like a prostitute?”

“No,” was Nick’s immediate response. “Where’d you meet her?”

“Bar.”

“No, really…” Brian could almost see Nick’s face. He sat down in front of his laptop and set the phone down next to it. Holding his tea in one hand, he used his other to open a web browser and search his name. Instead of the usual Wikipedia, Twitter, Instagram pages popping up, he saw the picture and headlines for the first few entries. Groaning out loud and instantly regretting it, he clicked on one of the headlines. He skimmed the paragraph because that was all they could extrapolate from the photo and realized that the tabloids had nothing. They weren’t sure who the girl was, which was a blessing for Brian. They hadn’t tracked her down...yet.

Beside him, his phone pinged. It was an email. He was afraid to open it, especially when he saw it was from Pat. Sighing he opened it and saw exactly how pissed she was. It only said two words: “Monday 9 AM.”

As the day wore on, Brian sequestered himself in the room he was staying in. He only came out to make a new cup of tea. By dinnertime, his voice was almost back to normal, but he kept quiet, knowing that if he just let it be, by morning, he’d be gravely but able to talk. After a very muted dinner on Brian’s part, he stayed up a bit with the Richardsons, drinking his tea and attempting to be social. Once both boys were in bed and Kristin had rejoined the cousins in the living room, Kevin lit into him. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t,” Brian admitted, squeaking his answer.

“That much is obvious.” Brian closed his eyes and sighed. He knew all this was coming. He wasn’t being very discrete. Sure, he had always been a “social” butterfly, attempting to post regularly on his Instagram, which was linked to his Facebook and Twitter account. But he had never been one to just be out and about. “You know they found the girl,” Kevin said almost nonchalantly.

“What?” Brian squeaked.

“Well, they think they did. Check your phone. I’m sure Nick sent it to you too.”

Brian sighed and pulled out his phone. There was a new text message from Nick saying he needed to watch this video. Glancing up at Kevin and Kristin, he opened the link and was directed to a tabloid website. They had a video of the woman they “claimed” was the woman he had been seen with at the hotel. Brian pressed play on the screen and watched as the paparazzo ran with his camera to catch up to someone with short dark hair. “Bec,” the cameraman called. “Bec!” The person stopped and turned to face the camera. Brian fought to keep his face neutral as he instantly recognized the short dark hair and the face of the woman he had been with the night before. She was wearing a plaid purple tunic and black yoga pants with tennis shoes. She also wore sunglasses and carried a Starbucks cup.

“What?” she asked.

“Rocco Dennisson with TMZ. Can you confirm that you were the woman seen with Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell last night?”

The woman tipped her head to the side. “Oh come on, Rocco. I saw that picture. It’s too grainy to make anything out.”

“So, was it you?” the paparazzo pressed.

“I’m not going to say one way or another. You know I don’t play your games.” She took a drink of her coffee. “Come back when you’ve got a better shot.” She turned on her heel and walked away. The video ended there.

“Who is she?” Brian asked in a whisper.

Kristin grinned. “You don’t know Bec Carlson?” Brian shook his head slowly. “She’s a cyber-celeb. Got famous off of some YouTube vids a while back. Think Kardashians but without the scandal. She comes across as very down to earth. Really popular with the over thirty set.” Brian just stared at Kristin. “She throws awesome parties, vlogs them, and also is a huge fan of you guys.” Kevin and Brian exchanged looks. “Seriously. Google her. She’s a Nick fan apparently from back in the day. Did an awesome video montage for his birthday.”

“You follow her?” Kevin inquired of his wife.

She nodded. “Yeah, on Instagram. Usually, after one of her parties, they try to link her to some celeb, but she’s been in a serious relationship until recently.” Kristin laughed to herself. “I don’t know why they’d try to tie her to you though,” she stated.

“Why?” Brian asked.

“She’s a lesbian.”

**March 30, 2022  
Los Angeles, California**

After his meeting with Pat and releasing a statement, things seemed to die down for a bit. Brian was in escrow for a small two-bedroom house in a gated community in the hills. His lawyer assured him it wouldn’t be included in the divorce filings. Being it was a cash sale, he was hoping to close by the time he got back from Vegas. He was going over his list of things he needed to pack for his trip plus trying to figure out how to get what he wanted from Atlanta to Los Angeles. He had finally spoken to Mike and he was going to meet up with him in Vegas for the next run.

He was sitting on the bed thinking about everything he had gone through when his phone pinged. It was a message from Nick. “Hey Bri, you got tagged in a new video.”

Brian rolled his eyes. “Now what?” he asked, nearly letting his anger bubble over at the fact that the paparazzi were still making a big deal about him being caught with someone.

“I’ll send you the link,” Nick replied.

Brian waited for the ping on his phone. After a minute, he heard it and saw that Nick had sent him a link to a video on TMZ’s website. Opening it up, he saw that he was tagged in it, but it wasn’t him. It was the woman he had been with, at least he thought so. They hadn’t exchanged names. He knew she was a cyber-celeb and she was supposedly a lesbian. He pressed the play button. Like so many other TMZ videos, he paparazzo was behind the lens of his camera asking the questions. He centered the petite brunette with the spikey hair in the frame and asked, “Hey Bec, did you really have a one night stand with Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell?” 

The woman, who had been leaving a trendy store that afternoon stopped and sighed. “I’ve told you guys. Your footage was bad. I’m not going to tell you one way or the other.”

“Why not?” the man behind the camera asked.

She sighed again and stared at the camera. “Look, in case everyone has forgotten, he’s still a married man. His divorce isn’t final yet. Whoever that woman was isn’t helping his cause right about now.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s just making it harder on his attorney, that’s all. Honestly, I think you guys need to back off a bit. Hasn’t Brian been through enough?”

The video ended there. Brian smiled to himself. At least this woman knew how to put the paparazzi in their place. And she was sticking up for him. He was almost positive she was the one he had been with. The haircut was right. The eyes were right. He had immersed himself in her videos. She was a vlogger and posted a video about once a week. But if she was into women, maybe she wasn’t the one. She certainly wasn’t coming out and saying it one way or another. He thought about messaging her on Instagram or Twitter but didn’t want anything to be public. Instead, he let it be. No one knew who he had been with. And his lawyer was handling things with the divorce and Pat had quieted the media about everything. Now if he could just get in touch with Leighanne.

**April 4, 2022  
Las Vegas, Nevada**

Brian had to admit the flight from Los Angeles to Vegas had been a much easier flight. Not only was it considerably shorter, but he didn’t have to change timezones any more. It made for a considerably better rest schedule. As Brian prepared for the first round of meet and greets for this set of dates, he actually felt very relaxed. The last time around, he’d had so much on his mind and now, things were starting to fall into place. The tabloids had backed off. His friends were finally back to just checking on him once in a great while instead of bombarding him with questions. He was about to close on a house in California. The only thing left was to talk to Leighanne. They had exchanged emails through their attorneys and that was about it.

Brian really wanted to talk about things, see if there was any way to reconcile. The things that made him most nervous were not the house, the cars, or liquid assets. He was more concerned with their business ventures.

Adjusting his hat and checking that his high tops were tied, he met up with Nick and the rest of the guys to head their favorite part of every show. Their bodyguards joined them as they all waited for a moment, hearing the may lay on the other side of the door as the fans lined up. Their photographer Justin walked up and high fived all the guys before heading inside to give instructions. Even though they all knew there were about seventy fans inside, it went super fast. Alex was the first Boy in the line and they all fell in behind their bodyguards, Brian being the last. They lined up in front of their custom backdrop, waved, said some hellos to fans they recognized and the line started. By the time they reached the end of the line, everyone was just about smiled out. The last fan was wearing a throwback Nick Carter shirt. She had short dark hair and dark eyes. She was short, even compared to Howie who was the shortest in the group, probably barely five feet tall. She hugged all of them and when she stepped in front of Brian, Brian froze. She had told all of them her name was Bec and she was a vlogger. Looking down at her, he knew… she was the woman he had been with. As she hugged him, she confirmed his suspicion. “It was better the first time,” she whispered in his ear. Brian pulled her back and stared at her, his mouth agape.

Brian’s brain was blank and he was thankful for Justin reminding them it was picture time. Bec asked to have Nick hug her and Brian was relieved when she moved over between Nick and Howie. As she was led out of the room after her picture, she turned and blew a kiss at the group and winked at Brian. Brian couldn’t move for a moment until Nick punched him in the arm. “You okay there, Bri?” Brian just nodded and followed the rest of them out to head to the dressing room, not sure what to think at that moment.


	4. The Way It Was

## Chapter Three: The Way It Was

**June 15, 2022  
Las Vegas, Nevada**

“Mister Littrell,” a young man wearing an event staff shirt said, coming up to Brian in the dining room. They maintained a catered dinner for crew and themselves in a room off the theatre. It was more of supper than dinner since it was about five in the afternoon. But all the guys knew they needed to eat before all the festivities started. 

Brian looked up from his plate. “Yes,” he asked.

The guy looked nervous. He held a file in his hand. “Um, Leighanne just cleared backstage.”

Brian dropped his fork and his gaze. Nick leaned over to him. “I thought you were gonna take her off the list.”

Sighing, Brian replied, “Not yet.” He stood up, his chair scraping the floor. “I need to speak with her.”

Nick looked up at his best friend. “Just don’t be late. We’ve got meet and greet in an hour.” Brian nodded and followed the young man.

Walking down the hallway behind the young man, he tried to figure out what he would say. He’d been trying to get ahold of Leighanne for months. She had only sent him a few cryptic text messages and some emails through her attorney. There were things they needed to talk about, but mostly Brian wanted to know if there was any way they could reconcile.

Walking to the family lounge, he was surprised to hear laughter. Lauren was there, he knew, and Kristin, Rochelle, and Leigh were supposed to be there as well. Stepping into the room, he saw the kids all clustered around the three different game systems and the toys in the corner. The five women in the room all had a glass of champagne in their hands. Brian froze in the doorway. Leighanne had her back to him. Her hair was shorter, cut to around her shoulders. She wore black slacks, heels, and a black and white top. Kristin was the first to notice Brian in the doorway and stopped talking. The other women looked up and saw him as well. Slowly, Leighanne turned around. Brian caught his breath, looking at how her hair framed her face. “Brian,” she said cooly.

“Leighanne,” he stated.

Turning back to the other wives and setting her glass down on the table in front of her, Leighanne said, “If you’ll excuse me.” The women all nodded as Leighanne stepped away and over towards her husband. “We need to talk,” she whispered to him.

He forced a smile as he turned to walk with her. “You could say that,” he said quietly. Brian led Leighanne around the backstage area of the theatre to a small room they used for interviews. He kept his hands by his side and resisted the urge to grab her hand. Once inside, he closed the door and looked at the small table set up the room. Like it was every night, as per their rider, there was instant coffee, tea, and an electric kettle with water laid out. There were also water bottles. Looking at Leighanne, who had sat down, he asked, “Did you want anything?” She shook her head and he went about making himself a cup of tea, his usual pre-show routine now. Taking his cup with him, he sat down across from her. The silence loomed for a moment while he built up the courage to ask the one question that plagued him. “Why?”

Leighanne shook her head slowly. “I just can’t do it anymore, Bri.”

Brian had prepared himself for that answer. “After twenty-five years, you just can’t do it anymore?” The silence stretched between them. Softly, Brian said, “Twenty-five years ago, I met an angel on the set of a music video. She stood by me through thick and thin. We had a son. We raised him. He’s an amazing young man. And now, after twenty-five years, you’re telling me it’s over?” Leighanne sat in silence. “Baby, we can work this out. I know we can,” Brian pleaded.

“I don’t know,” she said quietly.

“You’re here. That’s something.”

“I know.”

“So then why are you here?” Brian took a sip of his tea and waited.

Leighanne smiled. “Bay goes on and on about this show. How it’s one of your best. He said it’d be a shame if I missed it.”

Brian looked at the ground in front of him. Baylee had seen the show a few times now. He was always gushing about the show, but also critiquing his dad’s performance. Brian had always laughed when they met after the show to go through it and Bay would give him “tips.” Sighing, he looked back up at Leighanne, “It’s more than that,” he said.

She nodded slowly. “I wanted to see you. Make sure you were okay. My attorney advised against it, but I had to.”

Brian took another drink of his tea and stared at his wife. Was there something still there? Something they could build upon? The silence returned. They were always able to talk, but this time, it felt different, strained. After a while, Brian said to her, “Where are you staying?”

“Not here,” she said.

Standing up, he held his tea in one hand. His other hand, he reached out and placed on Leighanne’s cheek. “Meet me after encore. Give me one night.”

She nodded slowly as Brian’s phone pinged in his back pocket. Pulling it out he saw a text from Nick, “Hey five minutes. Where are you?” Putting his phone back, he leaned down and brushed his lips to Leighanne’s. “Tonight,” he said. She nodded again and stood up as he walked out of the room.

Finishing up his tea as he met up with the guys, Nick was first to ask, “What did she want?”

“Talk,” Brian answered, tossing his cup in a nearby trash can.

The other guys all raised their eyebrows. “Really?” Howie countered.

Brian nodded as they walked into their meet and greet room. He didn’t want to say much because he wasn’t a hundred percent sure of his voice right then, nor was he wanting to talk about Leighanne.

After the meet and greet, the guys headed to the dressing room to prepare. Brian began his vocal warm-ups and knew right away that this wasn’t going to be his best performance. Granted, it wasn’t going to be his worst, but he grabbed a spoonful of honey and started another cup of tea. Once all were dressed, they gathered together and Kevin looked at Brian. “So are we pulling ‘As Long As You Love Me’?” Brian shook his head. There had been idle chatter about pulling the song that night, but Brian was against it. They weren’t going to change their set just because he had an emotional tie to a song.

“Are you gonna be okay seeing Leighanne in the audience tonight?” Alex asked.

Brian shrugged. He wasn’t sure about how he was going to deal with it, but he was pretty sure it was gonna be okay once he started focusing on all the fans there in attendance. They gathered in a circle, toes touching, hands clasped, heads bowed. Howie offered the prayer that night. As they finished their time together, they all headed back to the family room. Brian pre-dosed with ibuprofen and downed another spoonful of honey.

As he suspected, his voice was off all night. His higher range seemed okay but his mid-range wasn’t quite where he liked it. When they finished the show and ran off stage, Brian paused again to grab another spoonful of honey just to coat his throat till he could get something more in him. As he walked back to change out of his stage clothes, Nick put his arm around him. “Fighting through like always,” he said. Brian smiled at his best friend as they headed in to go change.

Once changed back into his street clothes, Brian headed out to go find Leighanne. He wasn’t sure where he’d find her but hoped that she hadn’t stood him up. He found her with the other wives. Leighanne saw Brian walk up. Kristin stepped up beside him and said in his ear, “Don’t know what you’re thinking, Bri.” He glanced at her but cocked his head towards the exit and looped his arm through Leighanne’s and led her out. He picked up Mike to be able to make his way to his room without being interrupted. This was one time he really didn’t want to stop for the fans after the show.

The pair didn’t say anything as they walked. Brian was so engrossed in trying to get to his room that he didn’t see the photos being taken. He didn’t care at that moment. Once he reached his room, Mike nodded, leaving him as he pulled Leighanne inside. “Twenty-five years,” he whispered, pulling her body to him. “We met twenty-five years ago today.” Without thinking about it, he placed his lips to hers. He grabbed her face in his hands and looked at her. “Why are you doing this?”

Leighanne shook her head slightly and grabbed Brian’s waist pulling her body closer to his. The rush to get undressed was something they hadn’t experienced in quite a while. They were always the ones that the other guys knew to leave alone after a show, or before. Brian couldn’t help himself in rediscovering his wife. Things were fast, furious, and near rabid as they moved to the bed. He remembered everything about her body. He’d watched her age, mature, come into herself. He had always thought of himself as the luckiest man alive. Their hands roamed, they moved together like they had so many times before. As Brian lay his head on Leighanne’s shoulder, once again, unable to speak, out of breath and glistening with sweat, he thought about everything they had together. He was drowsy, the post-concert high finally subsiding and giving way to the out-to-the-world exhaustion it usually did. Leighanne carefully slid next to him and ran her hand down his back. “Brian, you need your rest,” she whispered.

Brian groaned and blinked at her. He watched as she slowly moved to the edge of the bed. “Don’t do this, Leighanne,” he gravelly groaned. He tried to move, but his body was drifting farther and farther into sleep. He closed his eyes and didn’t wake until the morning.

The sunlight was red behind his tightly closed eyes. Brian knew that was a bad sign. Squinting, he attempted to groan, only to find no sound came out. He rolled over and pulled the pillow over his head. Today was going to be bad, he just knew it. Picking his head up and looking around his suite, he saw that he was alone. Closing his eyes momentarily and shaking his head, he carefully moved from the bed to sit up and look around. Covering his face, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and went to stand up. Muscles ached in his back and his legs. Slowly he moved to find clothes. Upon making it to the desk in the other room of his suite, he saw a note scrawled on the pad there. Stopping to look down at it, he read, “I have to, Brian. I love you. Leighanne.” Without thinking, he pushed the notepad off the edge of the desk and headed back to the bathroom. He turned the water on in the shower as hot as he could stand it and stood underneath it, hoping the heat would relax his tense muscles. As he stood there, the water cascading over him, he couldn’t help but feel angry. How could he have been so stupid? Standing under the water, he realized that everything was different now. She was a different person. He still didn’t know what had caused the change, but she wasn’t the same person he knew. And things were never going to be the same. He realized that now.

Brian stood in the middle of his suite and realized his phone was dead. He was having a hard time remembering to charge it. Digging for his charger, he plugged his phone in just as there was a knock on the door. Realizing he was still in shorts, he grabbed a tee-shirt from his bag and threw it on before he opened the door. On the other side was Alex. “You’re a hard man to get a hold of,” he said.

Brian just glared at him as he let him inside his room. He then pointed to his phone plugged in on the desk.

“Forgot to charge your phone?” Alex asked. Brian nodded. “Rest day?” Alex followed up. 

Brian nodded again and reached for the notepad on the floor. Looking at the top sheet, he froze. Alex read over his shoulder.

“Ouch, man.”

Without thinking, Brian tore the top sheet of the pad and crumpled it up in his hand. Tossing it in the trash can beside the desk, he picked up the pen and scrawled, “What’s up?”

Alex shook his head and said, “Just checkin’, Bro.”

Brian nodded slowly and looked down at the pad before him. “Yeah,” he scrawled.

“Seriously,” Alex told him. “Your… issue… is getting concerning.”

Sighing, Brian wrote, “I know. New doc after this stint.”

“Well, as long as you are okay.” Brian nodded and Alex headed towards the door. “Well, I’ll see you then.”

Brian stayed in his room most of the day. Normally he’d be out doing things around the city trying to make the most of his short stay. He still had another two weeks left on this run. His voice was really starting to concern him, and apparently, the rest of the group had begun to notice too. The fact that he was losing his voice after almost every show, after sex, and if he was under too much stress was extremely concerning. It wasn’t like it was in the beginning. He always had something of a voice, but now it was gone, completely. He hoped it would be back in the morning or at least by meet and greet.

Laying on the couch, with the television on mute, he heard his phone ping. Picking it up, he saw that he not only had an email from his attorney but also a message from Kristin. Opening the text message, he saw that it was a link to TMZ. Clicking on it, he saw a photo of him and Leighanne leaving the theatre the previous night. The paragraph stated that they were looking at reconciliation. Shaking his head, he opened the email from his attorney. Apparently, he had heard from Leighanne’s attorney. She was offering that she get the house and the event business but he could take the label and all the recordings with it. There was also a stipulation that when she sold the property, she’d split the proceeds with him. He knew that was coming. She wasn’t going to spend forever in a huge house on forty acres. Shaking his head, he wanted to sit on that knowledge for a few days. He didn’t want to seem too jumpy to end things.

**July 5, 2022  
Los Angeles, California**

Brian sat in a chair in an office. Across the large oak desk was his new doctor, an ENT who came highly recommended by his doctor in Atlanta. The older gentleman closed a file folder in front of him and folded his hands. “Mister Littrell, Doctor Lee sent over your records. We’ve discussed your case at length. And with these new findings and with what you’ve told me, we are in agreeance here.”

Brian stared at the doctor in front of him. His gray hair was swept to the side, glasses perched on the end of his nose. He couldn’t find the words right then.

“We both think surgery is in your best interest.” Brian froze at the word “surgery.” Taking a breath, he focused back on what the doctor was saying. “Now, this isn’t going to fix all your problems. It’s not going to put you back to where you were before this all started, but if you want to continue to do what you do, I believe it is necessary.”

“Surgery?” Brian finally gasped.

The doctor nodded slowly. “Yes. We need to schedule as soon as possible.”

“Why?” Brian choked out. He felt his voice starting to falter.

“If we don’t do this soon,” the doctor said gently, “you may lose all vocal function.” Brian turned his head to the side and stared at nothing in particular. “You need to understand, that with all the stress and strain you put on your voice, it’s only going to get worse. The sooner we can schedule, the better. You’ll need at least a month, maybe more of complete vocal rest afterward. No sound at all.”

“Will I be able to sing again?”

“With therapy and time, you should be able to. I can’t guarantee your range or if it will be the same, but you should be able to sing again.”

Closing his eyes, Brian stood up, thanked the doctor and was led out to the desk to set up a pre-op appointment and surgery date. Knowing his calendar as he did and not wanting to disrupt the group, he set it for November first.

Heading back to Kevin’s place, he really didn’t feel like talking about it, but he knew he would eventually. As he parked in the driveway, his phone pinged with a new message. Opening up the email, he saw it was his realtor. He was needed to sign docs and close on his new place the next day. It would still be about another week before he got in there, but he didn’t really care. At least in a few days, he would have his own place again.

Walking inside, he only saw Kristin and waved at her. He knew his new information would come out at some point. Hopefully, after the boys were in bed that night.

Two days after he signed the documents for his new place, he was sitting in a Starbucks, trying to figure out what he needed to get done and what he was bringing from Atlanta and how when his phone pinged about half a dozen times. Glancing at it, he saw it was not only the guys in the group but also their wives. Not sure where to start first, he opened Nick’s message string. “Dude, you have got to check this out!” It was followed by a link. Sighing, Brian tapped the link and waited for it to load. Sipping his tea, he turned his ballcap around so the brim was forward and tipped his head down. Something told him he should try to blend in. The webpage loaded and Brian stared at the tiny picture on his phone before scrolling down a bit to read the article. He only made it as far as the headline: “Reconciliation Off. Leighanne Littrell Caught Cheating.” He froze. The room suddenly felt icy. His suspicions had been confirmed. He was almost certain all the other messages were of the same article. Taking a breath, he glanced outside. Things seemed clear, so he quietly got up, taking his tea with him, and walked towards the door. He kept his head down and managed to make it to his car and drive back to his cousin’s place without being stopped.

His phone rang in his hand as he walked up the walkway to the front door of the house. Glancing at the caller ID, he saw it was Pat and ignored the call. He didn’t want to give a statement right then. He wanted to go inside and hide. Walking past both Kevin and Kristin, he reached the guest room and closed and locked the door. Opening up his laptop, he waited until it was up and running before he pulled the webpage up and read the “article” about Leighanne. Apparently, this was a guy in Nashville. They didn’t have a name, but they all knew it wasn’t Brian. Clenching his fists in rage, he sighed and pulled out his phone and quickly dialed his son’s phone number. He knew Baylee had to have seen the article.

As soon as Baylee answered the phone, Brian inquired, “Did you know?”

“No, Dad, I swear. I didn’t know.” Baylee was defensive. He had obviously read the article.

“You had to have known,” accused Brian.

Baylee sighed on his end of the phone call. “I didn’t. I swear. She never told me.” He paused before he added, “Now I know why she was spending all that time in Nashville. It had nothing to do with me.”

“I’m sorry, Bub,” Brian apologized. “She was using you just like she was me.”

“So what does this mean for me?” Baylee whispered on the other end of the line.

“What do you mean?” Brian slowly sat down on the bed.

“She’s my manager and my mom.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I can’t fire her.”

Raising an eyebrow, Brian asked, “Because she’s your mom?”

“Not that,” Baylee replied. “She hasn’t done anything on the work side of it.” It took Brian a minute to figure out what Baylee was really saying. He was upset that his mom had done what she had done but she was his mom.

Brian nodded. “I can respect that.”

“But what about the label?”

Brian sighed. “Well, business-wise, we’ve agreed to let me keep the label and she’ll take the other ventures.”

“Are you guys gonna be able to do this though?”

Smiling, Brian reassured his son. “Bay, I’ve been in this business longer than most people. Business is business. As long as she remembers that, which I know she will, it shouldn’t be a problem. I am thinking of rebranding though.”

“Isn’t it going to be weird?”

“I don’t think so. I can surround myself with people so if I don’t want to see your mom, I won’t have to.” There was a long pause on the other end of the phone. “Look, this has absolutely nothing to do with you, Bubs. I still love your mom. I don’t know why she did what she did. Yeah, that makes me angry. But it has nothing to do with you.” Brian let Baylee vent for a while before finally convincing the young man that it really wasn’t his fault. As they hung up, he got another phone call. He saw it was his attorney. Answering it, he said that things were ready for him to sign on his divorce on Monday.


	5. Chances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's yet another long one!

## Chapter Four: Chances

**August 10, 2022  
Las Vegas, Nevada**

Brian couldn’t believe he had been legally divorced for almost a month. Things were starting to fall into a new normal for him. He had finally moved into his new place two weeks after signing the paperwork, though he was still technically living out of boxes. He was starting to be able to get around LA without needing a GPS, except he still used it when he couldn’t figure out where he was supposed to go. He’d gotten an email from Delta saying they were missing him, and his frequent flyer miles. He still flew Delta, it was just shorter and for that he was glad. It seemed to open up the day to him when he only spent about three hours doing the whole flying thing versus eight. The media had pretty much left him alone and he still tried to post on his socials when he could.

That afternoon, as they were queueing up for meet and greet photos, Brian could hear some commotion on the other side of the door. Brian stepped closer to the door to try and make out what was going on. He heard a voice that sounded familiar.

“Come on guys! You were told! I know you were told. I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t cleared.”

Justin walked up at that time. “Hey, guys,” He said squeezing past the group. “I need to get in there and save our girl. Apparently, someone wasn’t told of our gig today.” The celebrities exchanged looks as Justin opened the door.

“Justin, tell these clowns what I’m doing today!” the voice called as Justin closed the door behind him.

The group smiled. “It’s Bec!” Nick called. Brian sighed. He still wasn’t sure what to think around her. The group loved her. They didn’t know what Brian knew though.

Nick, Kevin, and Alex all pushed towards the door, where Howie was already camped out at. “Shhh,” Howie said. “I’m trying to hear what they’re saying.”

Justin was speaking in a softer tone that they couldn’t quite make out. “It’s for us,” they heard. “Let’s just get this show rolling, okay?”

“Guess that’s our cue,” Howie said turning and the group quickly got back into line to head into the room.

Walking into the room, everything went as it usually did with meet and greets. Most fans were starstruck and couldn’t talk. They all got their hugs. At the very end of the line was one of their new favorite people. Bec Carlson was there wearing her throwback Nick shirt again. They’d seen her about half a dozen times on the previous set. Her photos were almost always fun because she got creative. And because she knew the drill, she would just randomly call out a pose and they’d all go for it. Their favorites so far were “Superhero Pose” and “Epic BoyBand Pose.”

This time when she came up, she looked at Justin and smiled and then literally turned around to him and said, “Hey, could you unplug me?”

“Sure,” Justin said smiling. Brian couldn’t see what Justin was doing, but it only took a moment. While she was facing the group and Justin was doing what she had asked, Brian saw that she was wearing glasses that were really clear except for two black circles where the arms connected to the glasses.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses, Bec,” Nick called.

She grinned and slid the glasses off her face. “I don’t,” she replied. “These are prototypes from GoPro. GoPro Glass. Aimed at getting your view from your perspective.” She turned around and thanked Justin and then carefully set the glasses on the table. Walking over she hugged everyone and said, “I’m doing a bit for Wonderful Union. Everyone was _supposed_ to be told about it.”

“So what’s the pose today?” Alex asked.

Bec smiled. “Group hug.”

“Easy peasy!” Nick said, instantly wrapping his arms around Bec. Brian was glad he was on the outside of the hug because he was still on edge about everything. He had never had a chance to talk to Bec about what had happened and part of him was glad. He didn’t need the press to actually put it together that they _had_ been together that night before he was legally divorced.

After Justin had the shot, Bec asked him to hook her back up. As he was doing so, she said, “I promised WU that I wouldn’t show the actual meet and greet, but everything before and after. So I’m off to go get more footage.”

“Are they letting you edit it?” Justin asked, as he checked the connections and she adjusted the glasses.

“Yeah. Smart people you work for,” she said as she turned and blew a kiss to the group before bounding out of the room.

As Justin adjusted his camera around his neck, he said to the group, “The number one question we get asked is ‘What happens at a meet and greet?’ So we decided to do a bunch of videos of current ones to show fans what to expect. Bec was obviously the first to jump on board and used her connections to get some cool upgrades.”

“Leave it to Bec,” Alex said, as the guys filtered out. “You know her pics are always the best.”

“That’s just because she’s used to us now,” Howie replied.

Nick laughed as they walked to the dressing room. “She was like this in the beginning too. You know she’s a celeb in her own right.”

Brian shook his head. “Cyber celeb,” he mumbled.

“Have you watched her videos?” Nick asked. “She apparently throws amazing parties.”

Brian just shook his head. “Yeah, I’ve seen a few.” Truth be told, he’d pretty much watched her entire YouTube channel since he’d found out about her back in March. There wasn’t much on her other than her YouTube channel. All her videos were about seven to fifteen minutes in length and he could tell that she was actually a pretty good video editor. It was no wonder WU had said she could edit her own footage.

“Man, I would love to go to one of her parties,” Nick said.

Kevin shook his head. “No, you wouldn’t. Too much alcohol.”

Nick leaned over and punched Kevin in the arm. “How would you know Old Man?”

Kevin laughed. “Kristin showed me the videos. They’re wild.”

The guys all laughed as they headed to prepare for their show.

**September 6, 2022  
Los Angeles, California**

Brian’s phone had been pinging with notifications all day. He couldn’t figure out why. He always got tagged a ton in Instagram posts and always just ignored them. But today, it seemed to even carry over into his messages. Finally, he sat down and looked at the message from Kristin. “Is your phone dead yet?”

“No, why?” he asked back.

“Because Bec put you on blast. Go check her vid from yesterday.”

Brian sat down at his laptop and pulled up YouTube. Opening Bec’s channel, he saw she had posted a video yesterday, as she did every Monday. He let the footage roll and saw the spikey dark-haired woman take most of the frame.

“Hey, Crew!” She introed as she always did. “As many of you know, Saturday is my big birthday bash. If you are invited, you have already gotten your invite. The theme is _Millennium_. So wear your white. Because _this_ is the theme.” She superimposed a photo of the cover of the Backstreet Boys album _Millennium_ off to the right of her ear. “Yes, slow walk through LAX, _Millennium_ theme. But don’t really do that. You’ll get arrested.” Brian laughed.

“Now, my DJ is gonna drop all your favorite nineties hits, including my favorite, the Backstreet Boys. I did plan this party during one of their breaks from their Vegas runs so they could all attend. Now, I don’t think Howie D is coming because he’s off in Florida. Nicky Nick, my fav Boy, well, he’s off being Daddy to those two cuties of his. Kevin, well, he’s fifty now, so I don’t think partying is on his agenda. And AJ, eh, with as much alcohol as we serve at these things, he ain’t comin’. So that leaves only one.” Brian sighed and knew what was coming.

“B-Rok, consider this your _personal_ invitation to my party. And you have no excuse because I know you are S-I-N-G-L-E. So I hope I get to see you on Saturday night. I know you have plenty of white in that closet of yours. So come hang.

“Friends, that piece is going up on Insta in just a little bit. So if you are friends with him, follow him, anything like that, hit him up. Blow up his phone. I cannot have this party without having at least one Backstreet Boy at it! Catch ya’ later!” Her video ended there and Brian suddenly understood why he was getting hit up by all the alerts.

Looking back at his phone, he sent a text message to Kristin. “I’m not going.”

She came back with, “You have to!”

“No. Not my gig. You know that. Save the parties for Nick, Howie, and AJ.” Brian sighed and plugged his phone in. He couldn’t believe he was getting invited to one of Bec’s parties. Granted, the group was kind of the theme for this one. But still. Everyone in the fanbase knew he wasn’t a partier.

He thought he had gotten out of it until he received a phone call on Friday morning from Pat. She told him that her phones had been ringing non-stop asking if he would be attending. Everyone wanted the “exclusive.” Brian tried to tell her that there wasn’t going to be an “exclusive” because he wasn’t going, but she told him that he had to go. It would look good after all the negative press he’d gotten lately.

**September 10, 2022**  
**Millennium Biltmore Hotel**  
**Los Angeles, California**

Knowing he would probably be drinking, as it was the only way he was going to make it through the night, Brian booked himself a room at the Biltmore Hotel. He had dug through his closet and found one of his white concert outfits that he could get away with wearing pieces of. That was the good thing about their shows lately. They didn’t have anything really elaborate. White jeans, a white button-down shirt, and a white jacket. Add in his holographic high tops and he just about looked like he did when he was on stage for the last set on the last tour. He had brought it all with him when he checked in for the one night stay. The poor clerk at the desk was smiling a little too big when he walked away, and Brian knew why. He wasn’t the only one checking in for the night of the party.

He had decided to go simply for the night with a mini-suite instead of his usual full-on VIP suite. He knew Mike and the rest of the guys would probably give him a hard time about it later, but he didn’t really care. He was just going to wind up sleeping there after the party and he knew with as much alcohol as he would need to consume to come off that he was enjoying himself, driving was out of the picture. After getting dressed, he headed downstairs to the Emerald Room where he met Bec’s security detail for the event. They almost didn’t let him in until they say the note at the bottom of the guest list handwritten by Bec: “If ANY of the Backstreet Boys show up, let them in. No questions asked!” Brian had to laugh as they backpedaled so quick and let him into the room. Apologies were given but Brian waved them off. He surveyed the room and saw about two hundred people, all dressed in white, wandering around. He saw some people he recognized but headed in the direction of the bar. He positioned himself there, ordered a white wine and watched everyone come and go with drinks. There were waiters wandering around with trays of champagne. A DJ was in the corner playing all the music Brian had fought to forget. Every song was from the late nineties or early two-thousands.

Halfway through his first glass, Bec arrived with little fanfare. Her hair was spiked stiff and she wore a white pants suit with white tennis shoes. He eyed her as she wandered around the room, making idle chit-chat with her guests. She held a champagne flute in her hand and drank slowly from it.

As Brian started his second glass of wine, he saw Bec slide in front of him. “Hey, thanks for coming,” she said over the music.

Shrugging, Brian replied, “My publicist made me.”

“So did mine.” 

This statement caught Brian off guard. “But isn’t this your party?”

“Doesn’t mean I like it.” She finished her glass of champagne and signaled to the bartender to bring her another one.

“Then why throw it?”

“I need video. This party will last me at least three weeks, if not more. I’d rather be at home right now binging Netflix. Or yelling at the Ducks to score something, if it was hockey season.” Reaching over, she ran her fingers over Brian’s hand. “So, how’s the single life treating you?”

Brian shrugged. “It’s so different now.”

“Tell me about it.”

“You’re single?” he asked.

“Yeah. Been for a bit.”

“You’re Bec, right?” He wasn’t sure why he asked. He knew. But his brain was getting a little fuzzy with the alcohol.

“Yeah.”

“Kinda gender-neutral, huh?”

She shrugged. “Yeah, well, when you swing both ways…” She took a drink and watched as Brian fingered his wine glass. “That’s one of the reasons for this party. I can play the neutral card here. But depending upon who I want to attract, that will determine how I dress.”

Brian leaned his chin on his hand. “So if I were to take you out, how would you dress?”

“Are you asking? Or are you asking just to be asking?”

He grinned. “Call it curiosity.”

Shaking her head, Bec said, “Well, it depends upon what we would be doing. If we were actually going out, it would probably be a little black dress, heels, maybe tip the spikes, just to prove that it’s me. But if you wanted to keep it on the DL and we were staying in, I’d probably just go with my skinny jeans, layers, and sneaks. Still would wanna impress you.”

“You impress me now…”

Grinning, Bec replied, “And you’re drunk… Trust me. I know I’m not your type.”

“How do you know my type? You’re basing that off of twenty years of history.” Brian slowly finished his glass and asked for another. He knew he was asking for it then.

Bec laughed at him. “Yeah, I am,” she replied. “You’ve only ever been seen with blondes.”

“How do you know I haven’t changed?”

Before Bec could answer, the DJ put on Brian McKnight’s “Back at One.” Leaving her glass and glancing at the bartender, she pulled Brian’s hand off his glass and dragged him out onto the dance floor. “You owe me a dance, Handsome,” she said.

Tipping, his head back and laughing at her, Brian slid his hands around her waist and pulled her body to his. He knew she was correct in saying she wasn’t his type. But he wasn’t really looking either. He just wanted to forget about life for a while. Holding her and looking down into her eyes, he was overcome with a feeling of peace. He found himself singing along to the song and pulling the petite woman closer to him so he could actually sing in her ear. He hadn’t sung that song in years.

It was after that dance that things started to get fuzzy. He knew he had another glass of wine. He knew there was something that happened when “I Want It That Way” came on and he was involved in it. He knew it was around midnight when he wandered off to his room with Bec there by his side. He knew they opened a bottle of wine and had at least one more glass. After that, things were really hazy. He woke up in his bed, face down, shoes and jacket off. He groaned, feeling the hangover headache weighing him down. Squinting, he saw the face of the woman he had partied with the night before. She was kneeling on the floor by his bed. “Hey, Handsome,” she whispered. He groaned. “Yeah, you’re probably pretty hungover. I left my number. Call me when you’re sober. Maybe we can talk about that date.” She ruffled his hair and walked away. Brian tried to move, but his head hurt too much when he picked it up to go after her. He heard the door to his room close and tried to get up again, but decided against it. He dozed back off, hoping his head would feel better when he woke up.

Several hours later, he woke up with his head still hurting but he felt like he could move. Reaching for his phone by the bed, he saw a paper sitting on top of it. It had Bec’s name and phone number on it. Sitting up, he stared at it and then opened his contacts and added the number, though not sure why. Shaking his head, he felt drained. His head was pounding. He moved slowly, changing his clothes. He slid on a pair of sunglasses and headed out of his hotel room.

Stopping to pick up some Tylenol, he downed two of them dry and headed back to his house. He drew the curtains in his room and started a pot of coffee. Stepping in the shower to hopefully help with his head and his body, he stood there a long time thinking. Bec had said to call her. He wasn’t sure if he would. This was the worst hangover he’d had in a while. But he knew he had had a good time, surprisingly. The liquor had helped, he knew.

As he got out of the shower, he heard his phone ping. He was glad he had charged his phone while he was showering. Glancing at the message, he saw it was Nick. “What did you do last night?”

Shaking his head, Brian texted back, “Why? What do you know?” His phone pinged instantly with three different pictures. He popped the first one up and saw himself dancing close with Bec. The second one, they were laughing and obviously having a good time. The third one, she had her hand gripped around his jacket, pulling him towards her. Ther lips were pressed together. Sighing, he realized that there were photos of what had happened.

“Bec posted a video, too,” was Nick’s next text. It was followed by a link.

Sitting down on his new couch, he opened the YouTube video and watched as Bec was sitting in front of the camera. Her hair was sitting close to her head and she looked exhausted. “Hey, crew! I know it’s Sunday, but y’all have been blowing up my phone, my comments, and my Insta with these photos. Apparently, someone leaked photos of me with Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell. Yes, it’s LIT-rell, pretend you’re Brittish. I’ll do a whole episode on that later. But, I guess, you guys saw me dancing with him and kissing him. And it kinda freaked some of you out.” Brian laughed at her comment about doing a whole episode on his name but was a little confused as to where she was going with this video.

“See, the last time I mentioned a partner, it was a girl. And because I support the LGBTQ community, y’all thought I was a lesbian. I’m not. I’m bi. I’ve never been in the closet about this. I’ve never felt the need to come out about this. There’s a very specific reason. And if you are in the closet, afraid to come out, don’t know if you should tell your friends, your family, your co-workers, I want you to hear me right now. There is _no reason_ for you to tell _anyone_ who you are attracted to. It shouldn’t change your job, your friends, your family. It shouldn’t matter. Who you love, who you choose to share your bed with, is your own right. No one needs to know. That’s why I’ve never really told anyone.

“Yes, I did give Brian my phone number. He hasn’t called yet. Is he going to see this video? Probably. Is it going to change the way he feels about me? I don’t know. All I know is that yes, I gave him my number. Yes, I find him attractive, like about fifty million other people in the world. Is he going to call me? I don’t know. The ball is in his court.” Brian sighed. She had admitted to him last night that she “swung both ways.” Oddly, it didn’t bother him. At least now he understood how they had wound up having that night together when Kristin had told him she was a lesbian.

“And before all the comments of ‘You’re confused,’ and ‘If you like both, how come you’re not in a committed relationship?’ come up, let me say this: I have known since high school that this is who I am. I am true to myself and that’s all that matters. The only reason people are trying to make a big deal about this is for the news and the shock value. I don’t play those games. I don’t care what people say or think about me. You should know that by now.

“So, to my friends who are debating telling the world about your sexuality or your gender or your romantic feelings; you don’t have to. Find someone who loves and accepts you for who you are. For me, well, I’m putting myself out there again. Do I think that it’s Brian Littrell? TBH, probably not. But I will tell you, he knows more about me than y’all do. Catch ya later crew.” Her video ended there and he sat there staring at his phone. There was a whole lotta truth dropped in that video. He went and fixed himself a cup of coffee and went back to the couch. Glancing at his phone, he opened up his contacts and opted to send her a text versus call. His voice was a little shaky and he didn’t want to scare her.

He started and erased the text he wanted to send about a dozen times before finally settling on, “Hey, it’s Brian. Saw the video. Doesn’t change a thing. You told me already.” He sent the message before he could change his mind.

Her response came a short while later. “Figured as much. So about that date…”

Brian laughed. She was so forward. He had seen that from the get-go with her. She was the one that made the moves. In his mind, it made things a little easier. He really wasn’t sure where he stood anymore. The last time he had ever really dated anyone he was twenty-five. Were things different now that he was in his forties? He really wasn’t sure. “What about it?” he asked.

“Wanna talk about it?” she countered.

Sighing, he wasn’t sure how he wanted to handle that question. “Yeah, but text,” he finally replied after a minute.

“Voice giving you problems again?”

Biting his lip, he slowly typed back, “Yeah. Hey, did I sing last night?”

It took a little longer for her to get back to him. This time it was a video clip. She prefaced it with the words: “Raw footage.” 

He opened the video and saw himself singing along with “I Want It That Way.” He groaned. He was such a ham when it came to people. No wonder he hardly had a voice. He hadn’t warmed up for that and on top of that, he had coated in alcohol and not honey. “I really shouldn’t have done that,” he texted her.

“Probably not, but you were showing off.”

Brian laughed. “Yeah, well, everyone always seems to sing the chorus wrong.”

Bec sent an eye-rolling emoji to him. “Of course you would say that.” Before Brian could respond, she followed up with, “So what would you wanna do for a date? Out or In?”

Shaking his head, Brian got up and refilled his coffee cup before heading back to the sofa. Did he really dare take her on a date? He’d already had so much publicity lately. Did he need to stir the pot more? “Have to be In,” he replied. “Too much press lately. Publicist is on me.”

“Thank her for me,” Bec replied. “You know, Kentucky plays Florida this Saturday…”

Brian stared at the statement on his phone. Was she really being that forward as to suggest their first date? “I know,” he finally replied, after taking a sip of coffee. His head still hurt and he really wanted to go take a nap, but he was in this conversation and he couldn’t exactly stop at that moment. “What are you asking?”

“Wanna watch together?”

Brian almost dropped his phone at that statement. He had seen in her videos that she was a die-hard Florida Gators fan. He wasn’t sure if that was the right way to go about a first date. She had to know he’d be rooting for Kentucky. Maybe that was her plan. He decided to see what she would say to a little taunting. “You know Kentucky’s gonna cream Florida.”

Her reply was almost instant, “In your dreams, Gator Bait.”

Brian laughed out loud and followed with, “Game on. My place. Saturday. Noon.”

She sent him a thumbs-up emoji. Then followed up with a picture of herself in a Gators football jersey. “Dig out your colors, Country Boy!” she sent him.

Brian shook his head slowly as he sipped his coffee. He thought he must be losing his mind. Had he really just invited her over to watch the game?

**September 12, 2022  
Los Angeles, California**

Brian was actually in a meeting on Monday morning via Skype with his son when his phone pinged. He ignored it and they continued talking about his recording and if Brian was going to either rent space or set up space somewhere out there in LA. Currently, Baylee was still recording primarily at the house studio, but Brian was looking to change that in the coming months. His phone pinged yet again as they neared the end of their conversation and Baylee teased his father that needed to remember to put his phone on silent. They finally finished their business conversation and talk turned more personal. That was when the ping was a different tone signaling an email.

“You’re a popular guy now,” Baylee goaded.

Brian glared at his son on the computer monitor. “Kinda have been,” he replied.

“I’ve seen the pictures.”

Brian closed his eyes and sighed. “I’m sorry, Bubs.”

Baylee smiled and shook his head. “Nothing to be sorry for, Dad. It’s just strange, that’s all.”

“I know. And I really need to set a better example for you.”

Baylee laughed. “More like follow your own advice. Remember Dad, everyone has a camera now. It’s not like it was in the old days.”

Rolling his eyes, Brian nodded, and said, “Yeah, I know.” His phone pinged beside him again.

“Are you gonna get that?” Baylee asked.

Picking up his phone, he didn’t look at it, but said, “Yeah, right after I hang up with you. Love you, Bub.”

“Love you too, Dad.” Brian ended the video call and looked at his phone. He had three messages from Bec, two from Nick, and an email from Pat. He opened up Bec’s string first.

“Hey, Handsome. Just got blindsided on Ellen. Thought you should know.” It was followed by a picture of the pair of them outside his hotel room at the Biltmore. He knew it was from there because they were both in white and it was actually a pretty clear shot of the both of them. It was followed by, “Your publicist is probably gonna be on you about it, but I’ve got it handled.” Brian didn’t understand what she meant but decided to go on to Nick’s string, knowing what that was going to be now.

“You, this chick, and hotel rooms… what’s up, Bro?” Nick asked and sent the same pic as Bec had. He knew what Pat’s email was going to be, so he skipped that and looked at Nick’s messages again.

Not wanting to give away the secret that he knew, he said, “It was her party. I was drunk. She walked me to my room. End of story.”

“Saw the other pics. Looks like you had a good time. You should come to the afterparties with us.”

“No. That was a one-time thing.” Switching over to Bec’s set of messages, he typed in, “What do you mean?”

Instead of a text message, his phone rang in his hand. Looking down, he saw it was Bec and answered it. “Hi,” he said.

“Hey, Handsome. So I figured it’d be easier to explain over the phone.”

“Thanks,” he said, leaning back into the couch. “So what were you doing on _Ellen_?”

“Oh, it’s been on the books as long as the party. She’s usually pretty chill about telling me what we’re gonna discuss ahead of time. I knew it was going to be the party and you, especially after that sneak published those photos of us.” He heard her sigh on the other end. “I’m sure security told you at the door that my parties are closed and there are restrictions in place about photos and video.”

“Uh,” Brian tried to remember what had happened that night. “I don’t think they mentioned it because they were too busy arguing over me not being on the guest list.”

She grunted on the phone. “Okay, so they are on my shortlist. Anyway, I haven’t found out who yet, but I’m going through footage now. And when I find the cameraman, they’re blacklisted.” Pausing, she said, “So you got my text?”

“Yeah. Apparently, that photo is out and about. Nick sent it to me too.”

“Well, do you remember what happened?”

Brian closed his eyes and tried to remember what had happened after he had back to his room. “Not really. I know there was wine involved and I think football?”

“Very good, Grasshopper!” she commented, laughing slightly. “Yes, we did pop a bottle and we watched the highlights. It was game day and I spent all day prepping for the party. Beyond that nothing happened.”

“Well, I guess that’s a good thing. But my publicist is gonna kill me.”

“I told you. I’ve got it handled. It came up in the segment today. It’ll be out tomorrow afternoon. But I told Andy to go ahead and release parts of it for teasers on Facebook and Instagram. I’ll share ‘em and I’ll get in front of these guys. It’s nothing new.”

Brian shook his head slowly. “I’ve still got to explain it to my publicist,” he groaned.

“Just tell her what you told me, which is the truth by the way.”

“And if she doesn’t believe me?”

He could hear her smiling on the other end of the phone. “Have your publicist call mine. I’ll text you the number. So, do you believe me that I’ve got this?”

Shaking his head, he said, “Not really, but go ahead and run with it. Honesty is always the best policy.”

They hung up and a few minutes later, he got a text with a phone number in it. Looking at it, he laughed. Replying to the text, he typed, “This is your number.”

“I know,” she replied. The next text from her said, “You’ve been told no press is bad press, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, they’re wrong.”

Brian stared at his phone. He’d heard that recently. That the old adage was no longer true. He knew people were talking about him and it used to be that that was always a good thing. But Brian was quickly learning that that wasn’t how he wanted to be known. Dialing Pat’s number he waited a few minutes while she finished a call before being connected to her.

“What’s going on, Brian?”

“What do you mean?” Brian asked.

Pat sighed. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately. I mean, I get it that you’re going through a rough patch, but seriously, Brian.” Brian just waited, knowing he was about to get chewed out. “I can’t even play down the party pictures and I get _another_ hotel room picture.”

“They’re nothing, really, Pat. I promise. I had a little too much fun.”

“I’d say so,” Pat stated. “Tell me about the hotel.”

Taking a breath, Brian continued. “Nothing happened. Bec walked me back to my room. I knew it was probably better if I stayed there. But I swear to you. Nothing happened.”

“You know it’s really hard to maintain your image if you keep playing something you’re not,” she said to him.

Brian rolled his eyes. He’d worked so hard to make himself appear “normal” for so long. His image was about the last thing he wanted to hear about. It had taken him about the past ten years to get the fans to quit thinking he was so “pure.” Sighing, he said, “You know, I’m human. I’m single. I’m not out to change who I am. And besides, you were the one who said I needed to go. I went. I had a good time. Nothing happened.” He paused before adding, “And besides, Bec says she has it handled. She’s already done _Ellen_ this morning. I’ve seen her handle the paparazzi out here. It’ll be fine.”

“Okay Brian,” Pat started, “I trust you. I always have. Just remember where you are now. You’re in Celebrity Central.”

“I know. Everyone has a camera. Baylee reminded me this morning.”

Pat laughed on the other end. “I remember you giving him your tips,” she said. “And is there anything to this girl you keep being seen with?”

“Nothing yet. We’ve just met. She’s been to the show a few times. But I don’t know yet.”

“Okay then,” Pat said. “Just please try to stay out of the paparazzi lens. I don’t like coming in to find you all over my damage control plate. I sometimes have enough with Nick lately.”

“Yeah, I’ll stay out of it the best I can,” he agreed, knowing that between Nick’s brother, Aaron, and crazy ex-girlfriend’s coming out of the woodwork, Pat had spent the past couple of years dealing with restraining orders and allegations.

**September 13, 2022  
Los Angeles, California**

Brian was trying to keep a low profile. But it didn’t seem to be happening. His Instagram was pinging like crazy with tags to the _Ellen_ videos. Bec had shared them. Said that nothing was going on. He was actually really nervous to tune in that afternoon and watch the episode. Howie had already seen it and sent him a text message saying it wasn’t bad. At three that afternoon, he turned on his television and found Ellen DeGeneres’s talk show and waited. He had his phone next to him. He was anticipating a call from someone, his publicist, management, the rest of the guys, anyone to tell him his behavior was unbecoming.

As the third segment rolled, Ellen sat in her chair and said, “You’ve watched her videos, you all knew she threw a party over the weekend, please welcome my friend and YouTube star, Bec Carlson to the show.”

The crowd went crazy and Brian watched as Bec walked out on set. She wore a maroon striped three-quarter sleeve top over a darker maroon one, dark blue skinny jeans and holographic tennis shoes. Her hair was a little shorter so it stood up straighter. The pair hugged and Bec sat down opposite the host. The audience quieted down.

“Love those shoes,” Ellen said.

Bec grinned. “Thanks. Birthday present to me.” She crossed her knees so one of the shoes was seen on the other side of the small table.

“Let’s talk birthday. Your birthday was actually a few weeks ago, yes?”

“Yes. August fifteenth.”

“And you’re just now getting to the party? Which I’m sorry I missed by the way.”

Bec smiled and said, “These things take planning, Ellen. And it’s okay. I saw Portia was sick. Is she doing better?”

“She is, thank you.” Ellen leaned back a bit in her chair. “So let’s talk about this video you posted.” A piece of the video played on the screen behind them while Bec looked off-camera in front of her. It was the piece where she had told people they didn’t need to tell anyone about who they were attracted to. “You really rocked the LGBTQ community with it.”

Bec hung her head for a moment. “I know. I wasn’t trying to. But it’s how I feel. It shouldn’t matter who I love. I mean, if you want to come out, do it, but you shouldn’t feel pressured to. Coming out isn’t important. We shouldn’t need National Coming Out Day. It’s who you love. Find someone who loves you for you, no matter who that is. We shouldn’t need to explain why we love who we love.” The audience applauded and she had to wait a moment before continuing. She shrugged. “Maybe I live in a fantasy world or a world yet to come, but that’s what I believe.” 

“So it’s out now that you’re bi…”

Tipping her head and smiling softly, she said, “Yeah, I guess it is.”

“Well, you can’t go from this…” a photo of Bec and a woman with long blonde hair was on the screen, “to this,” Ellen said as the photo of Bec and Brian kissing. “And not have people wonder.”

“I know. I know,” Bec admitted.

“So has he called yet?”

“Yes, he has. But no, I’m not telling any details!”

“Well, you might want to because I found this.” Ellen showed a photo of Bec going into a hotel room with Brian. It was the photo she had sent him. And there was no mistaking that it was from her party because they were both in white.

“Where did you find that?” Brian could tell that she was caught completely off guard.

“You haven’t seen it?”

“No!” Bec buried her face in her hands. “Oh my God, I’m gonna have to make a phone call now.” He knew that the moment the cameras had stopped rolling on her segment she had dug up the photo and sent it to him.

“So what is going on?”

“It was nothing, really.” Ellen glanced at her. “Okay, I may not _be_ straight, but I will tell it to you straight.” Everyone laughed. “There’s a great thing about having your party at a hotel. Most of your guests end up with rooms at that hotel. And that’s a good thing because almost everyone at my party drinks, except me.” Ellen stared at me. “For those of you who don’t know, I hire very competent bartenders for my parties. Everything I drink is non-alcoholic.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’ve found I get better footage if I’m sober. So everything in my hand has zero alcohol in it. Anyway, Brian was drunk and so I led him back to his room. Yes, he invited me in. We shared a bottle of wine and screamed at the TV for a couple of hours until I fell asleep.”

“What was on the television?”

“Sports highlights. It’s preseason for both hockey and basketball. Plus there’s baseball, which I don’t care for. And don’t forget college football. I missed the game on Saturday. I had to catch up with my Gators.”

“So what’s next? I mean, we’ve seen the meet and greet videos. You’ve now been tied to Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys. Is there anything there?”

“Honestly Ellen, I don’t know. I know he’s single. I know he’s just gotten out of a relationship. I just got out of a relationship. Things like that don’t tend to mix well.”

Brian looked away from the screen and down at his phone. There was a message from Bec. Picking it up, he saw two words: “You watching?”

“Yeah. I didn’t realize you were sober Saturday.”

“Always at my parties. It was sparkling cider in my glass, not champagne.”

Brian shook his head and glanced at the TV. They had gone to commercial break. “So do you think that will kill it?” he texted.

“Did you tell your publicist the same thing?”

Brian thought back to what he had told Pat. He had kind of left it open but knew that Pat trusted him. “Essentially.”

“Then we should be good. Give it another day. They’ll probably try to come more at me than you.”

“Because you dropped a bomb on them.” He got a laughing emoji from that comment. “I need to just stay out of the limelight for a while.”

“Well, quit bringing girls back to your hotel rooms then…” Bec taunted him.

He laughed. “Better hotel rooms than my house. And you sound exactly like Nick.”

“Speaking of your house, I still need your address if I’m gonna come over on Saturday.”

Brian cursed to himself realizing he hadn’t given Bec his address yet. He sent it to her and they continued to chat for a while. Brian was surprised at how easily it came. Maybe there was something to this...

**September 17, 2022  
Los Angeles, California**

When she showed up at his door wearing her Gators jersey, holding a bottle of sparkling cider, he knew he was in way over his head. They started on opposite sides of the couch at kickoff and by halftime, she was right next to him. The game was actually a fairly good one. He knew it was going to be. At halftime, Kentucky was up by a field goal. Her hand had slipped to his knee on the last drive, and as time ran out, he slid his hand on top of hers.

Looking at her, he waited a moment while the TV showed the halftime report before he said anything. “So can I ask why you’re single?”

Bec shrugged beside him. “Not really sure. After about six years together, I guess she just wanted something new. We weren’t going to get married and she really didn’t like me partying as much as I did. I think she was jealous. She was there when I started my YouTube channel and when all of a sudden, my subscribers hit the million mark. But after I went viral and took off, she couldn’t handle it, I guess.” She casually flipped her hand over and interlaced her fingers with his. “I’ve been single for about a year now.”

“Did you know it was me the night we first met?” The question had plagued him for a while.

“Not till we got back to your hotel room. Then I felt so stupid for my pick-up line.”

Brian smiled and glanced at the television. The third quarter hadn’t started yet. “It was one I actually hadn’t heard, at least used on me sincerely.”

Bec grinned and shook her head. “You really had girls hit on you, even though you were married?”

Nodding, Brian added, “Yeah, really. At least once a tour stop.”

“That’s crazy.” Brian shrugged. She glanced at him sideways before asking, “Hey, can we make this an Instagram official date?”

Grinning, he said, “Sure.” She handed him her phone already in camera mode and allowed him to take the selfie of the two of them, her head on his shoulder. He then did a second one on his phone.

Before either of them could post the photos though, the third quarter started. While Brian was glued to the TV watching the Wildcat offense try to convert a third down, he heard a camera click. It was Bec snapping another selfie with him. He grinned and leaned over and kissed her cheek right as she did one more. Pushing him back on the couch, she laughed.

At the first commercial break, they both dove into their phones, posting to Instagram. Brian kept his caption simple, tagging her and saying his Cats were gonna beat the Gators. As his photo uploaded to Instagram, he caught a glimpse of the TV and saw the Wildcats defense catch an interception off a pass from the Gators. He cheered while the woman beside him buried her face in her hands groaning. He let her be as he glanced back at his phone. He saw she had posted the three photos, tagging him and saying in her caption, “Hanging with this guy. Hoping my Gators pull off the W. But if not, I think I’ll be okay. (See pic 3.)”

The game finished around four, the Kentucky Wildcats winning by a touchdown. Bec sat beside him and hung her head. “I knew it,” she said softly.

“Knew what?” Brian asked.

She picked her head up and traced his jaw with her finger. “That you were bad luck.”

“Huh?”

She smiled, before leaning over and kissing him gently. Pulling away, she said, “Every time I watch with someone else, the Gators lose.”

“Superstitious much?” She smiled as he slid his arm around her back and pulled her lips back to him.

“Only when it comes to my Gators,” she told him pulling back, breathless. “I really should go,” she said, slipping back from his grip. “I’ve got a video to prep for Monday and I’ve got a bride on me about her video.”

Brian turned off the television as they both stood up. He led her to the door and they stood there for a moment, not sure what to do. “Bride?” he asked.

“Yeah. Have my own freelance editing company, BC Editing. Do video edits for weddings, quinceaneras, bar mitzvahs, all kinds of things. Got about half a dozen on my slate right now.” She shrugged. “Most of my clients are okay with my timeline, but every so often some bridezilla wants her footage bumped.” 

“No wonder WU let you edit your own footage.”

Bec smiled. “You saw that one?”

“Of course! Justin brought it to us. Loved your tips by the way.”

Shrugging and stopping to look at him, she whispered, “Well, you are human.”

Brian wrapped his arms around her waist. “You are right about that. And this human wants to see you again.” He leaned over and kissed her gently.

She pulled away and said, “Sure. Call me.” She kissed him again before slipping out the door.

Brian knew he would call her. He had had a really good time with her over the past week. He wanted to spend more time with her and really get to know her.


	6. Passionate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are sensitive to hospital scenes, skip November 1 and November 5. You won't miss much, I promise!

## Chapter Five: Passionate

**October 24, 2022**  
**Planet Hollywood Hotel/Casino**  
**Las Vegas, Nevada**

Brian was sitting in a meeting with the guys, going over what to expect after this last week of shows. He had told them in September what was scheduled, but now they were going over the final bits of it. They weren’t scheduling another run in Vegas until at least February, and even then the dates would be released rather last minute for them. They wanted to make sure Brian was going to be able to handle it. As they were finishing up, Brian got a message from Bec on his phone, “Hey, why am I getting a key to your suite?”

He replied, “You’ll see.”

Ten minutes later, as the guys were all pulling out their phones, everyone got an alert. Brian almost laughed at everyone’s alert noises, but then Nick said, “Hey, Bec’s going live on Insta!”

Brian grinned, knowing she wouldn’t miss an opportunity to go live in Vegas like this. He watched as everyone pulled up their Instagram accounts. He opened his and went to Bec’s account. Another few seconds, he saw the hit count was already well over 200.

“Hey crew!” she said. “I’m here in Vegas. Gonna spend the last week of the Backstreet Boys’ Vegas run with them. Anyway, I go to check-in and find out that my room has been canceled, and instead, I get access to Brian’s suite!” The guys in the room laughed and Brian just shook his head. “So, do y’all wanna see what it’s like when a Backstreet Boy tries to court you?” Brian watched as the camera turned from her face to the doorknob. He was thankful she didn’t let his room number slip. She slid the card key in and when the light turned green, she opened the door. She kept the camera pointed to the ground and everyone saw the red rose petals trailing from the door.

Nick leaned over and pushed Brian’s arm. “You’ve got it bad!”

Slowly the camera followed the trail, the door closing in the background. “So, we’re gonna follow this path,” Bec said, “and it leads to…” She stopped outside the bedroom door and opened it slowly. “The bedroom. More rose petals.” She showed the bed where he had put a bunch on it. She then swept to the nightstand. “And there’s this.” She showed a bottle of red wine. Reaching out, she touched the plastic VIP pass around the neck of the bottle. She panned up and showed the bouquet of red roses. “But the trail doesn’t stop here,” she said. She followed the path over to the closet and opened the door. Inside, she found a little black dress hanging on a hanger, with a note that said, “Tomorrow?” She turned the camera back around on herself and said, “What y’all don’t know, is the first time I met Brian, I told him I dress based on who I wanted to attract. Apparently, we have a date tomorrow night.”

The men in the room glanced over at Brian. “We’re doubling with Nick and Lauren,” he said and dropped his eyes back to the video of Bec.

“Anyway, I’m gonna leave y’all, because I apparently have to go find this guy and thank him. Unless he’s watching…” The video ended there and everyone in the room looked at Brian.

Brian stood up and pocketed his phone. “I’ll catch ya guys at meet and greet.”

“Don’t be late,” Kevin called as Brian closed the door to the room they were using. He laughed as he pulled his phone out again and sent a text to Bec, saying, “Don’t you dare leave that room.”

Her reply was instant, “Wasn’t planning on it.”

He tried not to race back to his room but still wound up out of breath standing outside the door for a moment. Catching his breath, he slid his card key in the slot and opened the door. Inside, he found Bec sitting on the couch waiting for him. She stood up and he let the door close behind him. He swept her up in his arms and spun her around before setting her down and kissing her lips. “I missed you,” he said softly, pulling away.

“I was just here last week,” she said.

“But you didn’t tell me you were coming. You bought your own meet and greet and therefore I didn’t get any time with you.”

“So, what? You cancel my room, upgrade me and I still get to do meet and greet?”

Brian laughed out loud and let Bec go. Walking into the bedroom he snagged the pass off the wine bottle. Coming back, he said to her, “You obviously didn’t look at this too close, did you? You only have your paperwork to do and you are cleared for wherever backstage.”

Bec grabbed the plastic from Brian’s hands and stared at it. Brian waited. “So, wait…” she looked at him. “I’m on the same level as the crew?”

He leaned over and kissed her gently. “Better… Family.” He kissed her again. “You get to be with me till just about blackout. And then you get family seating. And you get brought back to me immediately after the show. Like I said, you have your clearance paperwork to do, but beyond that, I had Justin crop one of your meet and greet photos for the pass. You get to be with me the whole time, save for about an hour.” He slid his hands down her arms. “I also changed your flight. We fly home together on Sunday.” He pulled the pass out of her hands and laid it on the coffee table. “You know we’ve got a couple of hours before meet and greet…” he said softly.

“Oh really?” she asked, snaking one finger down the middle of his chest.

“Have you ever made love on a bed of roses?” he asked.

She smiled, slipping her hands around his waist. “Can’t say that I have.”

Reaching around and grabbing her hand, he pulled her to the bedroom as he said, “Well, you’re about to find out.” Closing the door, he reached for her and pulled her body against his, covering her mouth with his own. His hands roamed down her back searching for the edge of her shirt before sliding beneath it and pulling it over her head. She gasped as he did so. It didn’t take them long to shed their remaining clothes. 

Before Brian crawled up beside her on the bed, he reached into the nightstand drawer. Bec smiled up at him as he held himself above her. “Oh, is someone prepared for once?”

He kissed her briefly before sliding away from her and resting on his knees. “Hey, I planned for this week.”

Smiling slightly, as he once again positioned himself above her, Bec whispered, “So did I.” Brian didn’t quite understand what she meant until she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him down on top of her. She pulled her knees up and pressed them to his side. Without thinking, he casually moved his arm and slid it under her knee. She gasped as he pushed deeper into her.

“Been doing your research, I take it?” he groaned.

“Mmmm,” she mumbled as he continued to thrust into her. Tipping her head back, she moaned and Brian felt her fingers pressing into his back. He kept going as he heard her gasp and moan his name. He was right on the edge and her orgasm took him over as well. He fought to keep quiet as he let go, knowing he had to have a voice for the show.

He rolled off of her and she slid over to put her head on his chest. Stroking her head, he whispered, “God, I wanna be there when you research things…”

“How’d you guess?” she asked, tipping her head down so he couldn’t see her blush.

Brian smiled as he continued to stroke her hair. “You told me you’d been with a woman for six years. Not sure how many men you’d been with, but figured you might go looking for some new tricks up your sleeve.”

“I don’t hear you complaining,” she whispered.

“You never will either,” Brian replied.

“So why’d you upgrade me?” she asked.

He sighed, running a hand down her back. “You’re my girlfriend, you deserve it.”

“But I’m not your girlfriend.”

Brian raised an eyebrow. “You’re lying in my bed and we’re naked. What does that make us?”

“Friends with benefits.”

Brian shook his head slowly. They’d had several dates before he came back to Vegas. And even after he’d gotten to Vegas, she’d wound up in his bed almost every time she’d been to town. He was almost certain their “relationship” had escalated, but for some reason, she didn’t want to be in any type of serious relationship with him. “You know I’ve got four more shows, right?”

“Yeah, I’m here for all of them, remember? I took the whole week.”

He smiled and stroked her back again. He was glad he was going to get some time with her.“Well, after that, who knows…”

Bec sighed and snuggled closer. “That’s right, your surgery’s Tuesday.”

“I want you there.” He pulled her closer to him and kissed her temple.

“Why me?”

Brian shrugged. “You get it. And I want you there afterward too.”

“What do you mean?” She traced her finger down his chest.

“You’re gonna hate me, but I want you to stay with me afterward.”

“Like move in with you?” She lifted her head to look at him.

“Kinda. I’m not gonna be able to talk, remember? And I’m not gonna be able to eat anything for a while. And I’ll need someone to take care of me.”

“That’s right, you are a man. You guys can’t even get colds without thinking you’re dying.”

“Hey, I was holed up under quarantine with the flu, remember?”

“Yeah, Mister Five Star Hotel Quarantine. I’m surprised you made it.”

“Ha ha! Just think about it okay?” He watched as she slowly slid away from him. “We should probably get moving,” he said softly, moving with her. “You still need to get the paperwork done.”

He watched as she slowly searched for her clothes. “Have you told the fans about what’s happening next week?”

“No,” he told her, reaching for his own discarded clothes.

“You know you should. They have the right to know.”

Brian sighed as he pulled his shirt over his head. “I don’t know what I would say, how I would go about it, or when I would tell them.”

Bec walked over and wrapped her arms around Brian’s waist. “Start with an Instagram story on Thursday. Tell them it’s your last two shows for a while. I know they’re already sold out. Go live on stage with them for a bit. Give them a thrill. And then on Tuesday, we’ll post about your surgery.” She stood on her toes and kissed him.

He smiled down at her. “How do you know how to work my fans over so well?”

“Because I am one, remember?”

**November 1, 2022  
Los Angeles, California**

Brian was decked out in a hospital gown with a blanket laying over him on the gurney in the pre-op area. Bec was beside him holding both her phone and his. To say he was nervous was an understatement. He was starving and grumpy. Thankfully, Bec was there, trying to lighten the mood.

“So, one take your phone. Your Insta. Post it immediately. Let everyone know. I’ll do mine and we tag each other so everyone gets the full story, right?”

He smiled at her. “Sure.” He watched as she handed him his phone and he turned the camera to forward-facing. He could see the fear in his own eyes, the green cap on his head, the dark circles from not being able to sleep for two days. He knew his voice was going to be gravelly, but he didn’t care. He wanted something of his voice before it was gone for at least a month. Sighing, he glanced at Bec, who laid her head on his shoulder. He hit record. “Hey, guys. So this is the last time you’re gonna hear my voice for a while. In a few, I’m going into surgery. I’m asking for your prayers over the next few hours and the next month as I heal. With a little time, I should be back to singing for y’all. Thanks for all the love and support.” He let the video end there because he felt himself getting choked up.

Bec leaned over and kissed his cheek, wiping away the tear in the corner of his eye. “One more, then you can tell me how scared you are, okay?” He nodded as she held her phone up and adjusted it so they were both in the frame. “Ready?” He nodded again, and she hit record. “Hey, crew! I’m in the one place I never thought I’d be. This guy right here is putting on a brave face for y’all, but he’s scared to death. Mainly because after today, he doesn’t get a say in anything. Pray for him, okay? Pray for his doctors, the nurses, and all the hospital staff that are going to care for him for the next few days, because y’all know he’s stubborn as a mule. But in all seriousness, please keep him in your prayers right now. This is a big deal. We’re all praying this works and he’ll be back to singing for you guys in no time. But in the meantime, I’ll be hanging out here waiting for him to get out. I’ll keep you updated and may even take over his Instagram. Catch ya later!”

“Take over my Instagram?” he asked.

Bec shrugged. “Sure. Why not? Hospital Cafeteria food?”

He laughed as he posted his Instagram video and made sure it linked to both his Facebook and Twitter. He then handed her his phone and watched as she slid both phones into her pocket. She stood up straight and grabbed his hand. He squeezed it. “I’m terrified,” he admitted softly.

She leaned over and kissed his forehead. “I know. I am too. But you get to sleep through the whole thing. I get to go be a nervous wreck.”

He smiled weakly at her. “Bay should be getting here soon. I gave him your number and told him to text when he landed.”

She nodded. “Great first meeting...” she grumbled. “I’ll be on the lookout.”

At that moment, the nurse walked in and said, “Are you ready?”

“In a minute,” Brian said shakily. He looked up at Bec and whispered, “Pray with me?” She nodded and the room was silent for a moment while Brian offered a silent prayer for his safety and the doctor’s wisdom. When he was finished, he squeezed Bec’s hand. “I love you,” he whispered hoarsely, tears pricking his eyes.

Deftly, she wiped at them and leaned over to kiss him. “I love you, too,” she whispered.

“Ready?” the nurse asked, standing at the foot of the gurney. Brian nodded as Bec stepped away towards the door she had been led in. He tipped his head to the side watching her as long as he could until he was wheeled around a corner and he couldn’t see her anymore.

He tried not to focus on the operating room. Moving from the gurney to the table. The IV being placed. The bright lights he stared into as the anesthesiologist placed a mask over his face told him to breathe deep and count backward from five. That was the last thing he remembered.

The next thing he knew, he was trying to open his eyes. Everything was fuzzy. A nurse was by his side. “Everything went well, Mister Littrell. Don’t try to talk. Just go back to sleep.” The advice was all he needed to turn his head and close his eyes and drift back off.

A while later, the nurse was back at his side. “Brian. Brian, come on, you gotta wake up a little more so we can move you to your room.” Brian tried to focus as they moved him to his room. “Just a little longer, Brian, and then you can go back to sleep.” He felt himself being moved, tried to help, but really couldn’t do much. His throat was sore and he found it difficult to swallow. A little bit later, his nurse said, “Sweetie, you’ve got some visitors who just wanna make sure you’re okay.”

Brian peeled his eyes open and saw a blurry image of his son. He squeezed his hand and smiled. Turning his head, he saw Bec. “Hey,” she said softly. “Get some rest. We’re gonna go check out how bad the cafeteria is and then we’ll be back.” He nodded his head as she squeezed his hand.

**November 5, 2022  
Los Angeles, California**

Brian sat in his hospital bed waiting. He wanted to go home. But for some reason, everyone was dragging their feet at signing his discharge papers. He was annoyed that his pain medication had to be in liquid form for the next two weeks. It tasted nasty. He hated that he was still on a liquid diet for the next two weeks as well. He was so sick of soup.

He saw Bec come bounding in and stared at her. “What?” she asked.

He looked down at the small whiteboard he had in his lap. Uncapping the pen, he wrote, “I want to go home!”

Bec smiled weakly at him. “I know. But I can’t make them move any faster.” He glared at her. “Did you see my hospital highlights video today?” 

Brian shook his head and reached for his phone. Pulling up Bec’s YouTube channel, he opened her latest video.

“Hey, Crew!” she said in it. “So, if you’ve been following my Instagram, you know I’ve been spending a lot of time here at the hospital with Brian. So what do I do with my spare time? Film! So this is the past week of being at the hospital. And so you know, with a little luck, we may be busting out today! And I apologize if this is edited crappily. I’m doing it on my phone!”

Brian glanced up at Bec who shrugged as the video cut to the waiting room. “So we are at hour two,” Bec said into the camera. She panned the waiting room. “That’s Baylee, Brian’s son, over there.” Baylee was sitting in a chair in a corner, his head down, staring at his phone. “I just met him for the first time about half an hour ago. He’s pretty quiet, but I don’t blame him. I mean, what a way to meet your dad’s new ‘girlfriend’ than in the waiting room while he’s in surgery. I’m not his girlfriend by the way. He asked me to be here. I agreed. That's it. Nothing to it.”

The next segment was filmed in the hospital cafeteria. Bec and Baylee had obviously bonded over the bad food and who had the worst plate because they had made a game of it. It was followed by Bec standing outside the hospital, looking rather annoyed. “So, the ex is here. It was just a really weird vibe and it made me uncomfortable, so I came out here. I told Brian to text me when she was gone. I mean, don’t get me wrong or anything. I’m glad she’s here for him and all. I mean, they were together for almost twenty-five years. But at the same time, it just puts a knot in my stomach. So I’m gonna go wander around the grounds for a bit.”

The video cut to one of Bec moving a computer monitor. “One thing you don’t know is that some voiceless celeb wants me to hang with him for a while until he gets his voice back. So I’m ‘moving in,’ which means I’ve got to get a little work done.” Brian paused the video and erased his board in front of him. “Are you moved in?” he wrote.

“I’ve got clothes and my work station,” she said. “So, yeah.”

Just then, his nurse walked in with a handful of papers. “Who’s ready to go home?”

Brian raised his hand and waved it around while Bec giggled in the corner.

They went over the instructions, that he wasn’t supposed to talk until he met with his doctor. That appointment was scheduled for the first week in December. That his medications were already sent over and should be ready for pick up. Within twenty minutes, Brian was in a wheelchair being taken out to the car and Bec was on Instagram Live letting everyone know that “the Voiceless Wonder,” as she was calling him was finally going home. Brian rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smile.

**November 16, 2022  
Los Angeles, California**

Brian was slowly getting used to not having a voice. It had been two weeks and he was realizing that it was very hard to sometimes convey what he needed to in writing. Especially when he was trying to convince Bec that she needed to just own it and be his girlfriend. He wasn’t quite sure what the hold up was.

He made dinner that night and as they finished, Bec looked up at him. “Amazing, as always,” she said softly. He reached across the table and grabbed her hand, running his thumb over the back of her fingers. “So, what do you want to do tonight?” Brian shrugged. “I have an idea,” she said to him. Raising an eyebrow, Brian looked at her. She stood and cleared the table and Brian helped. As she was rinsing the dishes, she said to him, “I thought I might introduce you to what usually happens at my parties.” Brian glanced sideways at her. “See, usually we put on at least one show. Ever seen ‘Lip Sync Battle’?”

Brian nodded and reached for his phone. He typed into the note section, “Alex and Nick went on that show.”

Bec nodded. “I seem to remember that.” She dried her hands and grabbed Brian’s, “Let me show you something.” He followed her into the second bedroom which was “hers” in that she used it for her work area because she usually slept with him. Reaching her computer, she pulled up her YouTube channel. Scrolling through her videos, she paused on one and made it fill her screen. “See, I almost always have at least one pre-planned ‘event.’ You kind of ruined the last one.” Leaning over her shoulder, he watched as she played the video of him singing “I Want It That Way” with the rest of the crowd. Smiling, Bec said, “It was supposed to be an epic lip-sync, but you kinda went a little overboard.”

Brian held out his hands as if to say he couldn’t help it.

Shaking her head, Bec said, “I know you know how to lip-sync. You do it all the time with everyone else’s parts in the songs. And if you wanna perform before you get your voice back, it’s gonna be the only way.” Rolling his eyes, Brian nodded. “Do you happen to know ‘It’s Gonna Be Me’?”

Brian looked at his phone and typed one word, “‘NSYNC?”

Bec smiled mischievously. “No one will expect you to do it.” Brian shook his head violently. “Just humor me, okay?”

For the rest of the night, the two played around watching the YouTube video, learning the dance steps and Brian seriously showing her up. After a few hours, they collapsed on the couch, Bec giggling like crazy saying it was a good thing she hadn’t videoed it. Brian smiled and shook his head. He then grabbed his phone from the table and typed, “NEVER!”

“You’re no fun,” she said, giggling. “But seriously, I’m planning my next party. I’m torn between GaGa or Country.”

“When were you thinking?” he typed.

She shrugged. “Early December. Hoping you’ll have a voice by then.” Brian shrugged at her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his lap. “You know the silence is driving me crazy,” she said, leaning her head on his shoulder. 

He nodded. It was driving him crazy as well. He wasn’t stuck in the house, but it sure was difficult to go out and do anything without a voice. They sat there in silence for a long time before Bec climbed off his lap and grabbed his hand pulling him towards the bedroom. He still couldn’t understand why she wasn’t convinced they were a couple. He had to find a way to let her know that it was okay to be in a relationship again.

The next day, Brian tried to busy himself with email and chats about the possibility of more dates. Howie and Nick, the only other two in on the group chat were being supportive, but their management firm was being a little obstinate over the whole thing. They wanted to schedule now so they had time to sell the tickets at the venue. But Brian held firm with waiting until he knew for sure what his voice was going to do. Finishing up with the conference call/chat, he got up and headed into Bec’s workroom. He saw she was sitting at the desk with the three monitors and footage on each one. She had her headphones on, listening to something. He leaned over and put his hands on her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. Looking up at him he saw the tears in her eyes. Pulling the headphones off her head, he held them to his ear and heard the song he and his son Baylee had recorded for his debut album. Tipping his head, he watched as she paused the playback. Resting her forehead in her hand, Bec said slowly shaking her head, “Bride specifically requested that song.” He nodded. That had been their intent when they recorded it. “Every time I hear it, I cry.” Brian gave her a quizzical look. Bec sighed. “I miss your voice.”

Brian nodded and grabbed her hands. He pulled her to her feet and out of the room. Snagging his phone, he typed a hasty message that said, “Can that one wait a bit?” She nodded as he gently pushed her into a sitting position on the edge of the bed in their room. He held up one finger, telling her to wait while he hurried off into the bathroom. He took his time preparing the water, getting it to the proper temperature and the correct amount of bubbles. He pulled out the candles from under the counter and set them around the edge of the tub and on the counter before he found the lighter and lit them all and turned off the bathroom light. Satisfied he turned off the water in the tub and went out into the bedroom. He grabbed Bec’s hand and pulled her towards the bathroom. Opening the door, he let her go in first. Her reaction was exactly what he wanted. She sighed, turned around and hugged him. He stood there in the doorway and watched her get undressed and slide in a small smile on his face knowing for a moment, he made her feel better. 

As she slid beneath the bubbles and tipped her head back on the back of the tub, he went to slip away, but her voice called him back, “Stay with me.” He turned and went to kneel by the tub with her. He pulled out his phone, just in case. “Thank you,” she whispered, reaching out of the tub for his hand.

He smiled. Reaching for his phone, he typed a simple question, “Can I ask you something?”

“What?” she asked.

Sighing, Brian stared at his phone. How was he going to ask this without offending her? “Why don’t you want to make it official?”

“What?”

“That we’re dating,” he added in his message.

Bec sighed and slid further down in the bubbles. The flickering candlelight and Brian’s phone were the only light in the room. “I don’t know,” she whispered. “It’s a lot to take in.”

“What do you mean?” Brian asked.

Bec looked over at him. “I just don’t know if I’m ready to get back into a relationship. She was my world. And when she left, I didn’t know what to do with myself.” Brian nodded but knew there was more to it than that. “Plus I don’t know if I fit in with your life.”

Sitting up straighter, Brian stared at her. “I don’t understand,” he typed out and held up to her.

Bec sighed. “I realized it when I was sitting with them after you upgraded me in Vegas. I’m not like them.”

“How so?” Bec didn’t answer right away, so Brian added, “Because you’re bi?”

She shrugged. “Partly. But also I’m just… different.”

Brian set his phone down for a moment and leaned over and kissed her before picking it up again. His response took a while to type up. “I know you are different. You are unlike anyone I have ever dated or would have ever dated previously. But that’s why I love you. You are different. We have fun together. You have some understanding of what it’s like out there and yet you don’t care that I’m who I am.” He paused and showed her what he had written.

After she read it, she said with a smile, “Can Nick still be my favorite, even if I’m with you?”

Brian smiled and shook his head. Without thinking about it first, he typed out, “No! I would have to be your new favorite!”

“Then no deal,” Bec replied with a grin.

Knowing he probably wasn’t going to get any further with the conversation right then, he stood up and then typed, “I’ll let you be for a bit.” He walked out and sat down on the couch to think about what he could do to convince Bec that she just needed to let her guard down and let people know that they were a couple.

**December 10, 2022  
Los Angeles, California**

Brian had a surprise up his sleeve. Bec was throwing a party. The theme was country. Baylee had arrived that morning and Brian had made sure he was on the guest list. Bec had said she would make sure he was wristbanded so that none of the bartenders served him alcohol and that he drank what Bec was drinking non-alcoholic beverages.

Brian had gone to the doctor earlier that week and gotten the all-clear to start talking again. He’d also been told he could sing, so long as it wasn’t more than a part of a song and he warmed up appropriately for it. Bec knew about the talking but didn’t know about the singing. As long as he took it slow, he might be able to do a full show in February. That night, however, he had an idea in his mind.

After the party started, Bec was wandering around, a glass of sparkling cider in her hand. Brian kept close to Baylee, not to make sure he stayed out of the alcohol that was flowing around the room, but because he didn’t want to give away his secret yet.

Somewhere around eleven, Baylee was getting anxious. The DJ was playing all his favorite country hits, including from way back from when he was a child. “Dad, if you’re gonna do this, you gotta do it soon.” Brian grinned and pushed his son off towards the DJ booth. Brian slipped off to the bartender and asked for his strange request of a spoonful of honey. He took a moment going through his vocal range, knowing that he was only doing a little tonight, but it was more than he’d done in over a month.

Baylee waved at him from the small stage set up near the DJ booth and Brian hurried over and grabbed a microphone from his son’s hand. “Mom’s gonna kill me when she sees the footage.”

“No more than Pat and the guys are gonna for me,” he said, hiding out next to the DJ, Skip. “Thanks, by the way,” he said, leaning over to the man with graying hair and glasses. Skip just nodded as Baylee climbed the three steps to the stage and the music quieted. He had a stool in his hand.

Skip leaned over into his microphone. “Hey, all you party people. You know this is a country-themed party, but did you know we have an actual country artist in our midst? Welcome, Baylee Littrell!”

Baylee set the stool off to his right and said into his microphone, “This was not planned, but where is Bec at?” The crowd parted and Bec stood in the center of a circle. “Get up here girl!” Brian watched as she slowly made her way through the crowd and climbed up on stage. Baylee, ever the gentleman, took her hand and led her to the stool. “Now, we all know this is your party, but I think you’re gonna like this.” He nodded his head at Skip who started a track. Baylee held her hand as he started singing his song, “If You Won’t.” Brian had picked the song after going through all of Baylee’s old recordings, having finally gotten all the originals back. It was the one he had done for his first meet and greets. It was very well received and it was one that Brian knew he could very easily back his son up on.

Bec was blushing and grinning as Baylee was singing to her, paying no attention to the crowd who had gone a little crazy when Brian had stepped on the stage right before the first chorus. The look of shock on her face was exactly what he was looking for as she spun her head to look at him. He took her hand and sang with his son. By the second chorus, she wasn’t as shocked, and Brian could see something in her eyes. She was actually listening to the words and she understood what Brian was trying to get across to her. As the song ended, Brian took both her hands in his and said, “I’m not going to give up.”

She smiled up at him and said, “I know.”

He leaned down to kiss her and whispered, “So, do you wanna take this leap with me?”

She nodded and he reached down to cup her chin before pressing his lips to hers.


	7. Don't Go Breaking My Heart

## Chapter Six: Don’t Go Breaking My Heart

**December 12, 2022  
Los Angeles, California**

By Monday morning, everyone had the story. Brian woke first and had the television in the bedroom on mute. Around seven, Bec rolled over and placed her head on his shoulder. “You’re up early,” she said.

“Howie called. Said I needed to watch _The Today Show_,” he whispered.

Running a hand down his chest, Bec said, “Do you want me to start your tea?” He shook his head as he reached for the remote and turned the volume up on Carson Daly on the screen.

“Backstreet Boys fans have been given a Christmas miracle,” the former host of MTV’s TRL said. “It’s been over a month since Brian Littrell went in for surgery on his vocal cords.” They showed a picture of Brian and Bec from the video they had posted on Instagram that day. “Since then, he hasn’t posted a video and no one knew if he was going to get his voice back, let alone his singing voice. But video surfaced late yesterday afternoon of him singing with his son, country singer, Baylee Littrell.” Bec sat up and stared at the TV as footage of Brian holding her hand singing at the party aired. “Brian apparently backed his son up on one of his songs, ‘If You Won’t.’ But there was more to it than just that. He was apparently singing to his girlfriend, Bec Carlson.”

Bec reached over and grabbed the remote, turning the television off and slipping back beneath the sheets. “Someone is gonna pay for this,” she said. 

Brian slid next to her pulling her against him. He ran his hand down her back. He was just thinking about doing more when there was a knock at the door. Brian glanced over at Bec, who sat up and slid out of bed, digging in the closet quickly for a long tee shirt. He smiled as he slid on a pair of sweats and headed towards the front door.

When Brian answered the door, he was surprised to see Baylee standing there. “Hi, Son,” he replied, still rather hoarse as he was in the mornings now.

“Have you seen the news, Dad?” he asked, as Brian held the door wider, allowing Baylee to enter.

“I just saw something,” Brian stated, closing the door.

Bec chose that moment to come out from the bedroom in what Brian knew was a tee-shirt with shorts underneath, but you couldn’t really tell. Baylee’s eyes widened at her appearance, and he turned towards his father. “Sorry, Dad. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

Brian cleared his throat before answering, “You didn’t, Bub.”

Bec smiled and grabbed a honey stick from the refrigerator as she quietly started a cup of water in the Keurig machine. She walked over and handed Brian the stick, kissed him on the cheek and walked back into the kitchen to find a tea bag for him.

Brian tipped the honey stick in his mouth before adding, “Bec’s been staying with me since I left the hospital.”

“Oh,” was all the young man said.

Heading over to the couch, and seeing his son follow him, Brian sat down. “What was it that was so urgent?” he asked.

“Have you seen all the press Saturday is getting?”

Bec walked over with Brian’s mug of tea and said to Baylee, “Did you want anything?” Baylee shook his head and Bec went and grabbed her cup of coffee.

“I know I’ve got a ton of media requests,” Brian said, sipping his tea.

“It’s everywhere,” Baylee said, looking at the floor.

Coming back into the room with her coffee, Bec sat next to Brian. “It shouldn’t be,” she said softly. “I just got all the footage yesterday and I haven’t released anything.” Holding her mug in two hands, she looked at Brian. “You know my parties are closed events.”

“Then how did _The Today Show_ get their bit?” Brian asked.

Bec glared at him. “Someone’s gonna die. Or not be on the guestlist any more.”

Shaking his head and smiling, Brian heard Baylee’s phone ring. “That’s probably Mom again,” he said. “She’s been calling me like every twenty minutes for two hours. Woke me up this morning.”

“So why haven’t you answered her?” Brian asked.

Baylee shrugged and looked at the phone in his hand. “I don’t know. Because I don’t want to listen to her yell.”

Brian gave his son a quizzical expression. “When has your mother ever yelled at you?”

“It’s just I know what she’s going to say.”

“So let her say it and be done with it.” Brian slowly drank some more of his tea.

Bec casually laid her head on Brian’s shoulder while Baylee stared at his now quiet phone. Nobody said anything for a minute. Then Baylee said, “Alright. I’ll let her say what she needs to.” He sighed and opened up his contacts and pulled up his mother’s number. He waited while it rang. When she answered, he swallowed bravely, before saying, “Hello?”

“Baylee,” Leighanne said on the other end of the line, “What do you think you’re doing?”

“What, Mom?”

“I thought you were out there visiting your father.”

Gulping, Baylee stated, “I was. I am. I am visiting Dad.”

“Then what's all this about you singing with him? Why didn't you tell me?”

“It was a last-minute thing, Mom, I swear,” the young man stated. “It wasn't planned.”

“And what was with singing to _that woman_?”

Brian glanced at Bec beside him as she stiffened. Baylee didn’t miss a beat though, “It was her party, Mom.”

Leighanne wasn’t letting it go though. “What does your father see in her? She’s not his type. He wasn’t raised that way, and neither were you. Her lifestyle…” 

Brian quit listening at that point as Bec had gotten up and stormed off to the bedroom. He went to follow her when he stopped because of what Baylee said, “Mom, you have no right to criticize Dad here. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry the footage got out, but I’ll be back in a few days, okay.”

Brian stood up and headed to the bedroom where he heard Bec’s voice. It sounded shaky. Opening the door, he saw her on the phone, “I can’t do that, Ellen. I know you wanna talk about it, but I don’t control his schedule. I know Andy has his publicist’s number, call them. I’ll come with, I promise.”

He waited as she hung up before saying softly, “You called Ellen?”

Looking up at him, he saw the tears in her eyes as she answered, “She called me. Wanted us to come down tomorrow.”

“We can,” Brian offered. She shook her head. “What’s bothering you?”

Taking a breath, she said, “What did she mean?” He shook his head slightly. “What did she mean by you weren’t raised that way?”

Brian bit his lip and sighed. “It’s nothing. It’s not who I am anymore.”

Squinting, she said coolly, “You think who I am is wrong?” Brian shook his head. “Do you think I’m gonna run off with a woman?”

Brian reached over and grabbed her arms and held her still. “No, I don’t think that at all. I’m not worried about anything like that.” He pulled her into a hug, placing his hand on her head. “I love you. I know you love me.” He placed his hands on her cheeks and tilted her head up. Brushing his lips against hers, he said, “She’s just trying to rile you. Ignore her.”

Bec melted into Brian’s arms. “I know,” she whispered.

“Get dressed. Let’s go take Bay to breakfast.” He kissed her gently and pulled away heading to the bedroom door.

Stepping back into the living room, he saw Baylee staring at his phone. “Mom’s not happy,” he said.

“I heard,” Brian said. “Thanks for standing up for me and Bec.”

Baylee shook his head slowly. “She really has no room to talk.”

Brian nodded and said, “Give me a few minutes and we’ll go to breakfast.”

The group headed out about ten minutes later, Bec sitting up front with Brian holding her hand the whole time he drove. As they were leaving the restaurant together, Brian and Bec held hands as they walked together back to the car. Baylee was slightly ahead of them, his head buried in his phone, texting. Brian saw the woman out of the corner of his eye. She stopped in her tracks and spun slowly in a circle. Mentally, he prepared himself for the inevitable. “Oh my God, are you…” The trio stopped and Baylee looked up from his phone. “Baylee Littrell?” the woman asked.

Brian shook his head as the older woman gushed over his son, asked for a photo, which Baylee willingly took and then she hurried on her way, completely oblivious to Brian standing there watching the whole scene unfold. He still hadn’t completely gotten used to the fact that his son was getting recognized now too. Sure, he’d always had fans come up to him at the most random times, and thankfully they had gotten better over the years. But it was still strange to him that his son was getting it now too.

Once they got back to the house, Baylee took off, heading back to his hotel. Brian finally sat down and looked at his email. There were messages coming in like crazy. Pat was apparently forwarding them directly to his email in an attempt to just get him to see what had happened. He skimmed most of them and saw that they were from the usual suspects, news shows, magazines, radio shows.

Closing his laptop, he went searching for Bec, whom he hadn’t seen since they got back from breakfast. He found her hiding in her “cave” as she called it staring at footage from the party. Her headphones were around her neck and she was watching the center screen while she had footage rolling on the screens on either side. “I need to get something out,” she said softly. “Everyone wants to know, so why not tell them.”

Brian realized she was talking to him as he saw her drag a clip of Brian singing to her over to the first screen. “Are you going to be okay with this?”

Bec shrugged as she glanced at the screen on her left. It was more footage of Baylee and Brian signing to her but from a different angle. “I guess I’m gonna have to be. It’s out now. I wasn’t going to release this until this afternoon. I still have to record my official statement to go with it.” Brian saw that she was actually taking the whole piece of Baylee singing to her and just tweaking it so it was more fluid and had better visuals than what the current snippet was that was out here playing in the media. “Give me another twenty minutes and I’ll have a rough edit of the song,”

Walking over, Brian kissed the top of her head and said, “Sure,” before backing out of the room and closing the door as he did so. He’d never seen her so agitated. Sure, she’d hide in her “cave” for hours, working on projects. If he was lucky, he got to see some of them. But there was always a peace about it. Things moved slow. When she got tired of working on one piece, she’d switch to another. There was never a rush to anything. Apparently, she had a stipulation for any of the videographers that used her services that quality took time.

He decided to open an email to Pat and start telling her what was going on. His phone pinged beside him when he was halfway through. Glancing at it, he saw it was Nick. “So you are officially off the market again?”

Brian laughed and picked up his phone. “Kinda, not really. It wasn’t a proposal.”

“Lauren says she’s good for you.”

“How so?” Brian texted back.

A minute later, “You’re more relaxed around her.”

Brian shook his head at Nick’s statement but had to wonder if it was true. He knew the next day he would be starting with a new vocal coach to get him ready for shows again and help maintain what voice he had. He tried to keep his stress down and he knew Bec was helping in that somewhat because he didn’t feel the need to be so open with everything right then, even though he seemed to be in the public eye more than ever.

Brian heard the door behind him open and he turned around. “I’ve got a rough of the song if you wanna see,” Bec said. She sounded a little off and Brian knew it was because she was rushing her process. “There’s still some smoothing to do, but I’m gonna go take a shower and see if that will wake me up so I can get my bit done for it.” Brian walked over and wrapped his arms around her. “If Bay wants to post the song as well, let me know. I’ll share the final without my spot with him.”

“I’ll ask,” he said softly as she pulled away and headed for the bedroom. He knew she’d pick what she wanted to wear for the video, run through the shower and then record her bit before finishing the video. He walked into her little studio and saw that she had the rough pulled up on the main screen of her set up. He sat down and slid the headphones on and watched what was actually a pretty good video of his son from the moment he started speaking on stage. The angles were actually really good. He hadn’t realized that there was a cameraperson right by them on the floor. She had already synced all the music so there were just a couple of shots that the cuts were a little rough. He was sure that was what she meant. After seeing the whole thing, he was almost positive that Baylee would want it for his own YouTube channel. Putting the headphones back, he walked out of the room to go find his phone again.

Pulling up Baylee’s messages, he typed, “Hey, Bec’s just about done with the song from Saturday night? You want it for yourself?”

His response was pretty quick, “Yeah. It’s not often I get to sing with you.”

Brian sent a thumbs-up emoji and then waited until Bec got out of the shower. She emerged dressed in jeans, a tee, and a flannel. Her hair was spiked and she didn’t look so worn down. He told her that Baylee wanted the video and she nodded, going back to her “cave.”

While Bec was working on finishing her video, Brian answered the email from Pat, saying that he really didn’t want to do much of anything about what happened on Saturday. Pat managed to convince him to talk to _People_ and do _Ellen_. She also reminded him that he had opened a can of proverbial worms and there was more likely to come.

Bec emerged and grabbed Brian’s hand, pulling him off the couch and towards the bedroom that was her little workspace. “Can you come with me? I just think this will go over better with both of us.”

“What do you need me to say?” Brian asked.

“Nothing,” she said, planting herself on a tall stool in front of a decent webcam with microphone. “Just be there with me. This will be short.”

He nodded and stood beside her as she adjusted their image on the camera. She had a live-feed monitor beneath it so she could see what the shot looked like. Once she was ready, she hit record and slid back onto the stool. “Hey, crew!” she greeted her audience. “So, I guess by now you’ve all heard and seen what happened on Saturday. But I wanted to clear a few things up. First thing is that yes, Brian and I are a couple now.” She slid her arm around his waist and pulled him closer to her. “And don’t try to put our names together. I’ve already tried every combination and it doesn’t work!” Brian held his laugh but slid his arm around her back. “Yes, this was a surprise. I had no idea he was going to convince his son to sing nor that he was going to back him up on it either. I’m sure my shock is pretty evident. And as for whoever it was who leaked this, I will track you down. But now that I have all the footage, I figured I’d at least let you see the whole song.” She squeezed Brian closer to her. “And before you ask, I know this guy and I know he checked with his doctor before he did this. He wants to be able to come back and do full shows. So here ya go. Baylee, and his dad, Brian, surprising me with ‘If You Won’t’.” She stopped the recording and turned to Brian. “Thank you,” she said softly.

“You’re welcome,” he replied, kissing the top of her head. “Before you put it together, Bay wants the footage of the song.”

“I figured he would.” She slid off the stool and stood up. “And you did check with your doctor before you did this right?”

Brian nodded. “My vocal coach probably isn’t going to be too pleased. Oh, and by the way, we’re gonna be scheduled for an interview with _People_ and a spot on _Ellen_.” Bec nodded and slipped out of his grasp.

**December 15, 2022  
Los Angeles, California**

Brian somehow managed to squeeze in interviews between meetings with his vocal coach, practice sessions and meetings about his progress with management. He knew he only had another few days of his hectic schedule before he could actually relax and take some time between Christmas and New Years Day to just be with Bec and not worry about things.

He woke that Thursday morning, knowing that later that afternoon, the interview they had done for _Ellen_ was going to air. It was the first time both he and Bec and been together in an interview. The _People_ article would appear in the following week’s issue but would appear online on Monday.

Rolling over, he draped his arm over Bec’s body and pulled her next to him. She moaned and pressed her back against him. “Mmm,” she moaned.

“You want something…” Brian whispered.

Bec rolled over and pressed her lips to Brian’s. “Are you up for it?” she said, pulling away from him and running her hand down his chest beneath the sheet. Her fingers grazed the head of his erection and he sighed. “I take that as a yes,” she replied. Her hand gently wrapped around him and she squeezed him slightly.

Brian groaned before using his body to pin her beneath him. He grabbed her hands in one of his and pinned them above her head. He moved his lips to her ear and down her neck. She moaned softly as he did this. He realized that they hadn’t had a moment like this since before his appointment the previous week. His doctor wasn’t sure what it was that was causing him to lose his voice after sex. He said it might be the strain that he was putting on it. He couldn’t be sure if the surgery would fix that quirk. He said it might be something that happened no matter what. The conversation had been one of the hardest Brian had had with his doctor. His sex life wasn’t something he discussed, but being it seemed that if he actually let himself go, he would lose his voice, he knew he needed to know why. And unfortunately, there were no easy answers.

Bringing himself back to his girlfriend beneath him, he reached into the nightstand drawer beside him deciding it was time to find out. Sure, if he lost his voice, his vocal coach would likely give him an earful, but the woman beneath him was all he wanted at that moment. He let go of her, if only for a moment so he could prepare himself. In that moment, she reached her hands up and ran them down his stomach. He grabbed her hands again and pinned them above her head. “Uh uh,” he said, sliding his free hand down between her legs. “You’re mine this morning. It’s been two weeks.” He slowly slid a finger into her and she squirmed. “Two incredibly long weeks.” He had been hoping to turn her on more but realized she was already dripping for him. “Damn, girl…” he whispered.

Bec grinned up at him and said, “Hey, girls can have wet dreams too. Especially when they’re sleeping next to an incredibly sexy man.”

Brian shook his head slightly, as he pulled his hand away from her and pushed her thigh a bit further before easing himself into her. She moaned and squirmed as he began thrusting into her. He let himself get completely lost in her. As he neared his climax he wondered if he would have a voice later that day. He didn’t really care at that time. He let go of her wrists and pressed his body to hers, her hands going to his back, pulling him closer to her. Her own moaning and the feel of her body, made him groan. He felt his release, his breathing erratic, his voice strained. He buried his face in her shoulder as she tipped her head back on the pillow.

They took their time coming back to their normal breathing rate, Bec running her hands up and down Brian’s back. As Brian finally could breathe normally, he groaned. He had something of a voice, but it wasn’t very strong and it was more hoarse than normal. He knew if he used it more, he’d likely not have anything left. Groaning again, he hit the mattress with his fist.

“What’s the matter?” Bec asked as Brian slid off of her.

“My voice,” he croaked.

She smiled at him as he moved out of the bed and began searching for clothes. “Your voice is always rough in the morning,” she said.

Brian slid on jeans and a long sleeve tee and went back around the bed to look at the woman still there. “Not like this,” he whispered. He headed out into the kitchen and started hot water for tea.

A few moments later, Bec emerged fully dressed and came over to wrap her arms around him. "Maybe it's something we're doing?"

Brian shook his head. "I hope not." He spun around in her arms and leaned over to kiss her. "I don't think I can give you up."

**December 20, 2022  
Los Angeles, California**

Brian was debating when to give Bec her Christmas present when he heard her growling from the room she used as her studio. Since his surgery, she'd pretty much moved in. Over that time, she'd slowly been moving more and more of her video equipment in. Now, she was producing her videos there and was giving up her solo apartment at the beginning of the year. Heading into her "cave," he saw her staring at the monitors. On one of them was her YouTube page and the other was her Instagram and the third was her Facebook.

“What’s wrong?” he asked from the doorway.

Spinning in her chair to face him, he saw that she had tears in her eyes. “I can’t keep up,” she whispered.

Getting down on one knee in front of her, he held her face in his hands. “I don’t understand.”

Sniffing, she looked at him. “I posted my Christmas video today.” He nodded. They had done a simple, short video of the two of them. They both had shared it on their socials. “But I’ve all of a sudden got a bunch of trolls and haters.”

He tipped his head to the side and said, “In the words of Taylor Swift, Haters gonna hate.”

She forced a smile on her face. “I know. I usually delete the offensive comments, but I can’t keep up. There’s never been so many before.”

“What are they saying?”

Bec closed her eyes. “There’s the usual homophobic slurs that I ban them outright for being so ignorant. But now there’s this whole new group of them. I don’t know what to classify them as.”

“Lemme see,” he said standing up as she spun back around to her monitors. She opened up her latest YouTube video and scrolled to the comments. At first, Brian didn’t see what she meant. Many of the comments were “Merry Christmas!” and “Have a good Holiday!” or “Enjoy your vacation!” because they had mentioned that they likely wouldn’t be posting again until after the New Year. After reading through some of the comments, he found the ones she was talking about.

“Homewrecker!”

“How dare you break him and Leighanne up!”

“What is he doing with someone like you?”

He sighed. He was actually kind of surprised. The fans had grown up with them. When he had first gotten engaged and married, so many hated on his wife. There were death threats. But things eventually calmed down and the fans began to see that Leighanne was sweet and he was happy. He knew there were some who were still upset over the divorce, but he thought that most were okay with his decision.

“They're everywhere, Brian. My YouTube channel has lost about a thousand subscribers. My Facebook page is inundated. As well as my Instagram.”

The mention of Instagram made him think of his own post earlier that day. Pulling out his phone, he opened his Instagram account and went to his latest post. What he saw there made him cringe and broke his heart at the same time. It seemed as though fights had broken out between those who were loyal to him and those who were now questioning him.

“She'll break your heart.”

“Her lifestyle goes against the Bible.”

“Wonder if she'll cheat on him with a woman?”

Brian stared at his phone. Part of him couldn't believe what he was reading. Deciding he needed to end it, he turned off commenting on his Instagram post. Sighing, he looked over at Bec. “Just turn off commenting,” he said stoically. He watched as she did just that on all of her accounts. Once she was done, he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room. He pulled her onto the couch in the living room away from all the negativity. “I’m so sorry,” he said to her. “I haven’t seen it this bad in a while.”

“I don’t get it,” Bec said. “I thought when we had talked about this, you said your fans were actually pretty decent.”

Brian shrugged. “They are. You are. You’ve been among them for years.”

“That’s what I don’t get,” Bec said. “They all know I’m one of them. Why would they say these things? I didn’t break up your marriage.”

“I know that.” He sighed. “They were worse on my account, saying just awful things. I’m not sure what to say to them, but I need to drop something.”

“Why?”

He smiled softly at her. “It’s only happened a handful of times that I’ve shut down commenting. My fans know I love interacting with them. But they’ve crossed a line.” He turned away, not wanting his anger to show. “It’s one thing to say we made a poor song choice, that our music isn’t what they like, but it’s another thing to go after my family and those I love.” He turned back to her and said, “Please don’t read too much into it. They are just like any other Internet trolls. Feed them and they only get worse.”

Bec leaned her head on his shoulder. “I don’t know if I can handle all this,” she whispered. “I mean, I’ve had trolls and haters, but they seem so much worse than what I’m used to.”

“Help me write this post,” he said to her. “Let’s see if it helps. But don’t make up your mind yet.” Bec nodded as Brian opened his phone and started to compose a post.

“To my fans, I love to share my life with you. I wish to continue to do so, but I cannot if you start fights over my choices. Bec came into my life after Leighanne and I got divorced. She did not break up my marriage. As for who she is, well, that is who she is. I love her no matter what.”

Bec leaned over his phone and read what he had written before kissing him on the cheek. “It’s perfect,” she said.

“Thanks,” he told her as he posted it as a story on his Instagram as well as a photo so he made sure it got out there. “You know we’ve got the New Year’s party, right?”

Bec nodded. “I know.”

“All the guys are coming. Will you be there?”

Closing her eyes, she said, “I don’t know.”

“I won’t make you,” he said, kissing her temple. “But please know I want you there with me.”

“It’s your first real performance, right?”

Brian nodded. “Yeah. We agreed to do one song. I’m not quite ready for more than that right now. It seems to be taking longer than I expected to get my voice back to where I want it.”

She sat up and looked at him, grabbing his hand. “It’s not outside is it?”

“No,” Brian told her shaking his head. “I told them I had to be inside. And it will be at like eight. We’ll be done by nine and be able to be back here and celebrating by ourselves by the time New Years rolls around.”

“I still don’t know. I mean, there’s the whole group thing…” 

Brian pulled her closer. “I know it makes you nervous to be around the wives, but I promise you. Nothing is going to happen.”

**December 31, 2022  
Los Angeles, California**

The morning of New Year’s Eve dawned cold and bright. Brian did his best to calm his own nerves about the evening. He made his tea, checked his email, went about his normal routine. Bec had agreed to go with him that evening. She swore it was for support and promised to get the best video she could of his performance. He knew she’d probably ask all the wives for their video as well and put something together for him. That was, of course, if she wasn’t already talking to the video director for that night’s performance.

The pair had a very laid back morning, just being with each other and trying to prepare for that night. Around three, Bec began pacing the floor and Brian literally had to grab her hands to stop her from doing so. “I know you’re nervous,” he said. “Believe me, I am too. But we can do this, okay?” She nodded.

“What should I wear?” she asked him.

He smiled at her. “Well, you’ve already got me. How do you want to be seen with us?”

Sighing, Bec told him, “I don’t want to seem out of place.”

“You won’t. It’s not too fancy. Remember, this is for television. You’ll probably get a few shots, but nothing major. They’re going to be recording our performance. But after that, we can leave. Or we can always stay for the party.” Bec shrugged and Brian kissed her head.

By five they were on their way to the event hall. They met up with Kevin, his wife, Kristin, Alex and his wife Rochelle, Howie and his wife Leigh, and Nick with his wife Lauren. They had apparently all gotten sitters for the evening so they could attend. The group was pulled for photos and Brian wrapped his arms around Bec’s waist. “Just relax,” he whispered in her ear. 

As they stepped away, Bec said, “Are you sure I don’t look out of place?” She had chosen black skinny jeans, a black button-down and a red sweater over top. Her button-down had jewels on the collar and she wore black mid-thigh boots.

“Of course not,” he said softly. “Now go be that outgoing person I know you are.” She blushed and headed off. He did the group photos and then headed off to go find his love. He found her with what looked like champagne, but he now knew was sparkling cider. Coming up behind her, he slid his hands around her waist as she was talking with Rochelle.

“You doing okay?” He whispered in her ear. She nodded slowly. Before he could say more, Nick pulled him away.

“Hey, do you need a warm-up before we do this thing?”

Brian nodded and followed Nick to where he could go through his now extended process of warming up to sing, even though it was only one song. They had decided on doing their classic, “I Want It That Way” in the acoustic version for this performance. Brian tried to clear his mind of all that was riding on this one performance. Outside of the one little bit, he had done with Baylee nearly a month prior, no one had heard him sing. He'd been quietly recording his singing voice without modification so he could go back and listen to himself, see if there was any change. By what he could tell, he was still most comfortable in the higher range. His mid-range still was the hardest to hit. He was definitely thinking that he may need to change a key or two on some of the older songs in their catalog.

Taking his time to drink his tea, coat with honey and actually do the warm-ups his coach had instructed him to do, Brian felt ready by the time they were told they were needed on stage for their “performance.” He took his place on stage and looked for his girlfriend. He found her standing in front of the stage. He gave her a wave before they started rolling on their performance. After his verse, he looked again for her, but she wasn’t in the spot he had seen her. He searched the crowd while trying to appear inconspicuous. By the time he reached his next part, his voice was shaky. Nick came over and draped his arm around Brian’s shoulder as he continued to fight his way through the song.

Slipping off stage with the guys, he looked at them all, shaking his head. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I thought I had this.”

Kevin placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Cuz. It was your first time back.”

Brian slowly shook his head. “It’s not just that.”

“What is it?” Howie asked, coming up beside him.

“I swear Bec was in the crowd,” he stated, taking off his monitors and handing them to the sound producer. “But I can’t find her now.”

“I’m sure she’s with the rest of the wives,” Nick said.

“I hope so.” He followed the rest of the guys to where their wives were all clustered together. Hugs were given as well as congratulations, even though Brian didn’t feel much like celebrating. He didn’t feel like his performance had gone the way he had wanted it to. Looking around, he didn’t see Bec anywhere. “Have you gals seen Bec?” he asked, hoarsely, knowing he needed to get some tea and honey on his throat sooner rather than later.

The women all shook their heads. “I thought she was up front, watching you,” Kristin said.

“That’s what I thought too,” Brian told her. Just then his phone pinged. Pulling it out of his back pocket, he saw he had a new text message from Bec.

“I don’t think I can do this,” it said.

Brian read it three times before he glanced up at the men and women around him.

“What is it, Brian?” Nick asked.

Closing his eyes, he shook his head slowly. “She’s gone,” he whispered.

There was a chorus of “What?” as the group clustered around him to read the text message on his phone.

The group collapsed in on itself, hugging Brian and immediately making plans. Kevin took it upon himself to make sure Brian got back to his house while Nick said he was staying with him that night. Brian shook his head, telling Nick he’d be fine. They only got as far as the parking lot together when they realized the storm that had come up while they were inside. The wind whipped the rain in their faces. They all hunkered down against it as they made it to their vehicles. Brian took a moment before climbing in the passenger seat of his car to lift his face to the rain in the dark and just let it fall on him. The storm seemed to match the way he was feeling inside, turbulent and lost. Could he really be losing the one he loved again? He really didn’t want to think about it as his cousin maneuvered the vehicle in the dark with Kristin following behind them. By the time he reached his house, he knew it was almost too late to save what little voice he had left, but his cousin started him a cup of tea anyway. Not leaving right away, Kevin sent a text message to his wife, telling her to check on the boys and that he’d text when he needed a ride. The cousins sat there in silence, watching the clock tick, sharing tea. Near eleven, Kevin turned on the TV and they were able to watch their performance. Though it had been live on the East Coast, it was tape-delayed for the West Coast. Brian cringed at the moments in the later choruses where his voice cracked. He knew he had done everything right in his preparations, but it was the stress of not seeing Bec where she should be that caused his voice to crack.

Right as their performance ended, Brian heard a knock on the door. Getting up, he walked slowly to answer it, being he still felt chilled to the bone after being outside in the rain. Opening it, he was surprised to see a very soaking wet Bec standing on the porch. She lifted her head to look at him and whispered, “I’m sorry.”


	8. OK

## Chapter Seven: OK

**December 31. 2022  
Los Angeles, California**

Brian stood there with the door open staring at the woman on the doorstep. Her wet hair was plastered to her head. Her clothes were dripping. Without thinking about it, he held open his arms and she fell into them sobbing. “I don’t know what I was doing,” she cried on his shoulder.

Kevin, sensing that he was no longer needed, waved at his cousin and dialed his wife, needing a ride home.

Brian kicked the door closed as he slowly inched backward with Bec in his arms. He didn’t say anything, mainly because he couldn’t. He didn’t know what to think at that moment. There was a small puddle forming beneath them when he saw Kevin wave and walk out the front door. He knew they hadn’t moved in a few minutes. Hearing the door close, he gently pulled back from the woman in his arms just enough for her to look at him. He leaned down and kissed her gently and then took both her hands in his and led her to the bathroom. Turning on the shower, he said not a word as he slowly started helping her undress. She, in turn, did the same with him and they climbed into the warm shower together. There was no intimacy between them, just standing beneath the large rain shower head, taking the moment to warm up. Once they both stopped shivering and felt warm again, Brian reached behind her and turned the water off before reaching outside the stall for towels. Drying off, they both wrapped the terrycloth around them before walking to the bedroom. Brian pulled out a pair of sweatpants and watched as Bec threw on a set of gray sweats as well. They both crawled under the covers and lay there, staring at each other.

After several silent moments, Brian glanced at the clock. Bec did the same. “Happy New Year,” she whispered. He nodded at her and she realized he was unable to speak. “Did you lose your voice?” He nodded again. She became teary. “Was it because of me?” He couldn’t look at her. “Oh, Brian, I’m so sorry.” He shook his head slowly. He really wanted to know why she had run. She reached up and placed a hand on his cheek. “Please, can we talk about this tomorrow?” she asked, shivering. “I’m still frozen to the bone.”

Brian nodded, hoping that in the morning, he would have something of a voice so they could have the conversation they so desperately needed to have. He pulled her body close to his and tried to warm up himself because he suddenly found that he was chilled as well. He knew it was after midnight and he was exhausted. The emotions of the evening were weighing on him. He wasn’t expecting Bec to run and when she did, he wasn’t expecting her to come back to him. His world felt like a bubble, getting closer and closer to a rose bush, but the wind blowing it away right at the last second. He held her tighter as he felt his own body begin to drift into unconsciousness. He heard her fall asleep before he did, letting his breathing match hers and allowing himself to finally fall asleep, knowing he absolutely needed to after the emotional roller coaster he had been on.

**January 1, 2023  
Los Angeles, California**

Brian slept in the next morning. He rolled over and felt for the woman beside him, only to find her not there. Sitting up and starting to feel the panic rise in him, he flung the covers off of him. Had she left again while he was sleeping? He moved quickly out into the living room and found her curled up under a blanket, sitting on the couch with a mug of tea. She had her phone in her free hand. She was looking down at it, not even aware that he had come into the room. Breathing a sigh of relief, he shuffled into the kitchen and made his tea, dropping a spoonful of honey in it to hopefully help with his voice. Heading back into the living room, he slowly sat down next to her. “Morning,” she said, lifting her eyes to meet his.

He grunted as he sipped his tea. “What’s the media saying?”

“About last night?” she asked. He nodded. Bec shrugged. “About what you expected. You did well. They’re impressed and wondering when you’ll be back to full shows.”

Brian shrugged. “So what happened last night?” he squeaked, drinking more of his tea and curling up on the end of the sofa.

Bec slid sideways and turned towards him, tucking her legs underneath her. Biting her lip, she whispered, “I don’t know.”

Clearing his throat, he said softly, “What do you mean?”

“Everyone was looking at me,” she stated.

Brian shook his head. “They weren’t, I promise.” He leaned over and put his hand on the blanket over her knee. “You were just overwhelmed.”

Sniffing and wrapping her hands around her mug. “You don’t know,” she told him. “Everyone was staring.” She pulled her knees up to her chest. “And you didn’t see the media.” Brian slowly shook his head. “It was everywhere,” she shrieked. “Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter.”

Brian smiled slightly. “What was?”

“That we were together. That I wasn’t good for you. That we shouldn’t be together.”

Sighing, Brian attempted to scoot closer to Bec, but she slid back even further against the arm of the couch. “Bec, that’s pretty common.” She stared at him. “The studio immediately put the pictures out on their website and it went to their Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. The video went to YouTube. The fans and public then react to it. Of course, they’re going to continue with the negative comments.” He sighed and took a long drink of his tea to warm his throat. “They don’t know you real well yet. They don’t know how much you mean to me, or where you fit in my life.”

“Of course they know me!” she squeaked at him. “I’ve been out publically for two years.”

“Sweetie,” Brian said softly. “See, this is the difference between you and me.” He got up and moved to sit next to her. “I’ve been doing this for almost thirty years. My fans and the media know that I share a lot of my life with them. I was so excited when Instagram took off. To be able to share my life from my perspective. But there’s also so much I keep from them. I never put out anything that I’m going to have to take back. Just because something is funny at the moment doesn’t mean it’s going to be funny in the next. I never put people down. I know at any moment, if I were to say something negative about someone or one group of people, I could be alienating part of my fans. I can’t do that. It’s only because of my fans that I’m here. I know you understand that part of it.” She nodded. “See, just because you have put some of yourself out there on YouTube and your socials, doesn’t mean they know all the work that you’ve put in. Remember, social media is a snapshot, a soundbite. They’ll get to know you or not. Rochelle was bullied off of social media. Kristin is very focused on her photography now. Leigh and Lauren are working social media to let the fans know about their lives. You have a knack for it. You’re a cyber celeb. Everyone thinks they know everything about you because you have put some part of you out there. But they don’t. Not yet.”

“But how am I supposed to tell them if they keep hating on me?”

Brian sipped his tea and sighed. “You’ve got to learn something right now. Stay off of it. Yes, check your comments, delete your ignorant trolls, but don’t lose yourself in it. The tabs are out to get us, constantly. Yes, we’re going to end up on the end of their lens on occasion. You already know how to shut them down. But the Internet trolls are different. They live to rile you. If you let them get to you, it’ll kill you. I know you’ve grown your channel and you live by the subscribers and hits, but don’t let them control you. That’s the biggest piece of advice I’ve given Bay. Yes, promote, promote even when you don’t feel like it, but don’t let the haters get you down.”

Bec sighed and turned away. “I’m sorry I ran last night,” she whispered.

Slipping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her towards him, he said, “I understand now. You were overwhelmed. Yes, there’s a whole lot of press around last night. There really shouldn’t be, but everyone was concerned. And if you were pinging all night with alerts from all the socials, I can understand. I really wasn’t there for you. I was worried about my own struggles.”

A tear slid down her cheek. “But I made it worse by disappearing.”

Brian shrugged. “I’m gonna have to figure that out. How do I work with the stress and still sound okay?” She laid her head on his shoulder. “Where did you go after you left?”

“I just walked around. And then it started raining.”

“How did you get home?”

“Took a Lyft. He wasn’t too happy, but at least he had a towel for me to sit on, realizing it was a downpour.”

He pulled her into a hug and said, “I’m glad you decided to come back.”

Sighing, she responded, “I realized I couldn’t leave you. We’ve been through too much together. And it hasn’t even been that long.”

He grinned. “Welcome to the craziness that is my life.”

Later that afternoon, the pair were curled up on the couch watching recaps of the semi-final college football Bowl Games the previous day. None of their teams were in, though Georgia was playing in the Sugar Bowl the next day. Right as Brian was getting up the nerve to get the envelope off the Christmas tree in the corner to actually give Bec the one present he hadn’t yet, his phone pinged with an email. Looking at it, he groaned.

“What’s the matter?” Bec asked, sipping her sparkling cider.

Reading the email quickly, he said, “Pat’s booked me for tomorrow morning on _The Today Show_, _Good Morning America_, and _The Early Show_.”

Bec shrugged. “And?”

He stared out the front window at the sunlight streaming in. “You know where they are, right?” She nodded slowly. “There’s no time for flights. She’s booked them as remotes.” She stared at him momentarily. “It means two AM call times.” He saw the realization hit her. He hated early morning interviews because his voice was always so rough in the morning. He tried to avoid them now, whenever possible.

“Guess that means what I had planned for tonight is off…” she grinned.

Brian sighed and stood up, heading for the Christmas tree. “I really need to talk to Jane about that.” Clearing his throat, he said, “Would you come with me?”

“Sure,” Bec replied as he reached for the envelope in the tree. 

Turning around he walked back over to her. “Before we take down the tree, I wanted to give you your present.”

She smiled at him. “Why so late?”

Sitting down next to her, he held the envelope in his hand. “I wanted to wait and see what happened after yesterday before I gave it to you.”

Shaking her head, she said, “Your performance?”

“No.” He handed her the envelope and watched as she turned it over and lifted the flap. She pulled out the two tickets and stared at them for a moment.

“Are these…”

He nodded.

“Tickets to the Championship Game?” He nodded again. “How? Why?”

Leaning over, he kissed her gently. “Because I love you and you’re worth it. No matter what anyone says.”

The next morning, Brian was outside his house in an inconspicuous location so that no one knew where he lived. The producers, cameramen, and lighting guys were hovering around. Brian was standing there next to Bec with a coat and a scarf on. He held a steaming cup of tea. Bec was near him ready to take what he discarded, which he knew would be the tea and the scarf. He was just trying to keep warm so that his voice sounded clear. He knew his vocal coach, Jane, was gonna kill him the next day. He was only supposed to sing Saturday night, not go off and do three back to back interviews the following Monday. But he knew things like this couldn’t always be avoided. It was who he was. He was always in the public eye, no matter what he was doing.

As the NBC affiliate said they were ready, Brian discarded the scarf by playfully wrapping it around Bec and handing her his tea. Stepping in front of the setup, he waited and watched on the monitor as the hosts from _The Today Show_ set up and then began asking him questions about his recovery, his performances, and when they might expect the group to be back on stage. Brian was exceptionally vague about the last question. He really didn’t know at that moment and he didn’t want to give any of the fans false hope that he’d be back sooner than expected.

_Good Morning America_ went much the same. Almost the same questions. Brian felt pretty comfortable with not only his answers but also his voice as he sipped on his tea before his last interview. It was almost five in the morning and Brian really just wanted to crawl back into bed. When he was cued for _The Early Show_, he was really expecting about the same questions he had already answered for the previous two. But they went in a different direction. The sudden change in course from his career to his personal life caused Brian to falter a moment before catching himself. He was able to answer the questions without a problem but felt his voice starting to give out by the end. As he finished the interview and cameras quit rolling, he felt himself start to cough. The media guys got him unhooked from the microphone and he looked at Bec. His tea had gone cold by now, so he knew it wasn’t going to help. He waved to the last of the camera crews as they fled off his property in the darkness. He then followed Bec inside and into the kitchen as she made him one more steaming mug of tea.

“Thanks,” he coughed. She smiled and slowly helped him out of his jacket. “Sorry about that last one,” he said. “They kinda came out of left field.”

Bec shrugged and grabbed the mug from his hand, setting it on the counter. “It’s okay. I was expecting it. But since we’ve got a couple of hours before it airs…” Brian stared at her. “West Coast time delay,” she reminded him. “And you’re probably gonna lose your voice anyway, let’s go snuggle until these shows start airing.”

“Snuggle?” Brian asked as she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the bedroom. She grinned mischievously at him. His phone pinged and he glanced at it to see that it was Howie saying he had done a good job. He put his phone on silent as they headed into the bedroom.

An hour later, Brian was laying on his back, Bec resting her head on his shoulder. He was stroking her back gently as she dozed. He knew he had strained his voice to no usage that day. He really didn’t understand it much. He didn’t think he was doing anything super stressful to his voice. And he knew that he wasn’t going to be able to completely give up sex with her either. He knew exactly where she was at, having gone through it with Leighanne. Those had been good times. Sneaking off to steal some time away together. Maybe that was why he was enjoying himself so much. Bec was reminding him of simpler times. Reaching over, he grabbed the remote to the TV and adjusted the blanket over his lower half. Turning on the flatscreen, he surfed through the channels until he found NBC showing _The Today Show_, knowing he had done that bit first. He was beginning to find the positives of living on the West Coast. It meant he could actually catch his live bits without having to search the web for them later. The weather was nicer too. No snow. And the humidity was a million times better than Atlanta.

Beside him, Bec stirred and moved her leg on top of his. Opening her eyes, she looked over at him. He smiled at her. “Anything?” she asked softly. He shook his head. He knew he was done for the moment she had suggested it. And that was the reason why he didn’t hold back. He knew his voice was on an edge after the interviews. So he didn’t really care if he lost it after that. He also knew that his vocal coach, Jane, was going to kill him the next day.

Sliding over to crawl more on top of him, Bec whispered in his ear, “You were amazing this morning.” He just smiled and kissed her as the tv started talking about his performance. She moved off of him and they watched the piece in silence. When that one was over, he switched channels to ABC and they watched _Good Morning America_ followed by _The Early Show_ on CBS. “Incredible as always,” she said, kissing him again. “Now that you have done your job for today, get up. We’ve got three football games to squeeze in!” Brian kissed her again as she moved out of bed. He also got up and threw on a pair of pajama bottoms and a University of Georiga Bulldogs tee-shirt. He wasn’t doing anything today, being it was his last day of “vacation.” He’d probably check his email just to make sure things didn’t overlap in his schedule because he knew there was going to be more press surrounding the New Year’s Eve performance. But he really wanted to take a nap on the couch while the games were on.

As Bec was making tea for the both of them and he was surfing the channels trying to find the games, he pulled up his phone and looked at the CBS post of his interview. Sighing, he knew what he would find. He normally didn’t read anything on any of the news articles that were posted, but he wanted to make sure he prepared Bec for them. Skimming the comments, he closed that tab on his phone and opened up his notes section. He was halfway through typing a note to her when she reappeared. “Don’t go looking for the CBS one, okay?” he typed out and showed her.

“Bad?” she asked, sitting next to him.

He shrugged and then typed out, “Video is exactly what we watched. Comments aren’t great. But that’s why I don’t usually read them unless they are on something I post.”

She nodded, sliding back into the couch next to him. “It’s so different now. I mean. I used to be worried about subscribers, follows, likes. I still am. And I used to read every comment, but I can’t now. Is this what you mean in that it’s different?” 

He nodded. “People don’t realize the difference between cyber celebrities and actual celebrities. Usually, you cyber celebs’ fame is short-lived. You’re here for a bit and then you’re gone. One-hit wonders, we call ‘em in the music business. Flash in the pan. Your popularity may wax and wane now. You’re attached to me. That may help. That may make it worse.”

“I'm beginning to see that,” she said after reading all that he had written.

“But I’ll help you navigate it,” he wrote.

“Thanks,” she told him, kissing him on the cheek as the pre-game started on the first Bowl Game of the day.

Brian knew where he would spend the rest of the day. Food would be ordered and delivered to the house, bathroom breaks would be reserved for media time outs, and best of all, he’d be able to share it with the woman he loved, even if he couldn’t scream at the TV with her. He’d catch a nap soon and she’d probably Instagram it, but he really didn’t care. He was content to just be in the moment for once.

**January 3, 2023  
Los Angeles, California**

For the first time since he’d started going to his vocal coach in December, he brought Bec along with him. Jane was an older woman and conducted business out of her home. Brian usually went alone, but being he really needed to ask about why he kept losing his voice after sex, he thought it best if Bec tagged along.

Jane hugged Brian as she opened the door and politely led the pair of them into the room she had set up for vocal practice. It appeared to be like any other room, except there were rugs and plush chairs. In the corner was recording equipment that was used when she wanted to compare sessions. Brian smiled as he and Bec settled in on a love seat together. Jane reminded him of Professor McGonagall in the Harry Potter movies. Gray hair swept back, glasses perched on the end of her nose, a shawl wrapped around her. She smiled sweetly at the pair. “And what do I owe the pleasure of you bringing your love with you?”

Taking a breath and focusing on the sounds and not the words, he said, “I’ve got a question for you.”

“You do?”

“Yes,” he said, tipping his chin and blushing. “It’s about my voice…” he paused and looked at Bec who just placed her hand in his and squeezed, nodding her head slightly. He coughed and cleared his throat. Everything seemed tight.

“Don’t focus on what you are going to say. This is a safe space. Focus on the sound, the vibration. You do not need to worry about what you tell me.” The older woman smiled gently at him.

“I, uh,” he coughed again and closed his eyes. Focusing not on the words, but the sounds themselves, he kept his eyes closed and said in a low whisper, “I lose my voice after sex.”

Bec squeezed his hand tight when he lifted his head and looked at his coach.

Jane smiled gently at Brian and said, “Good. You managed to do that.” Brian tipped his head. “Remember, part of your issue is in your head. There’s a disconnect. When you become stressed, your voice cuts out.” Brian nodded. “So you being able to make this statement, that obviously causes you stress, is a step in the right direction.” She sat back and made a note on a notepad on the small table to her left. “We’ll come back to that. But first, let’s address this issue you have. Tell me what happens.”

Squeezing his eyes shut, Brian breathed in and out slowly before answering. “It just seems like every time we have sex, I end up without a voice.”

“Are there specific times of the day that it’s worse?” Jane asked.

Brian looked over at Bec, unsure if he could continue. “I know mornings are the worst,” Bec said. “His voice is always…” she paused, looking for the correct word, “...rough in the morning. He’s more likely to lose it entirely if we have sex in the morning.”

Jane nodded. “Any time it hasn’t happened?”

Brian shook his head, but Bec corrected him. “There was that one time…”

Looking at her, Brian said, “What one time?”

“Before your surgery, when I came to Vegas and you surprised me.”

“What was different about that time?” Jane asked them.

Brian stared at Bec for a moment before it dawned on him. “I had a show that night. It was early afternoon and I had surprised her at the hotel. I had to force myself to keep my voice off so I had a voice for that night.” Looking back at his coach, he said, “But I can’t do that all the time. It’s too hard to think about that all the time.” Glancing back at Bec, he took her hands and said, “I want to lose myself in you.” She smiled softly at him.

“Okay,” Jane said, getting both their attention. She adjusted the shawl around her shoulders and said, “Think about it this way, Brian. You have a disconnect when things are stressful between your brain and your voice. You can’t help that. We work to strengthen that.” Brian nodded slowly, not sure where his vocal coach was going with what she was saying. “Think about all the things that happen to the body when you have sex: your heart rate goes up, breathing increases, your body flushes and becomes covered in sweat, muscles spasm. And that has nothing to do with the parts actually engaged in the act.” Brian blushed and ducked his head again. “Now,” Jane continued. “Think about your voice during that time.” Brian stared at her. “Go on. Close your eyes and think about what you are doing with your voice.”

Doing as he was instructed, and tightening his grip on Bec’s hand, Brian thought back to when he and Bec made love. What was he doing with his voice? “Breathing is difficult,” he whispered.

“That’s hard on your voice,” Jane stated.

“I’m usually in a higher range...calling out...groaning...screaming…”

“Stop right there. What did you just say?”

Brian opened his eyes. “What? Groaning? Screaming?” 

Jane nodded. “Yes. It puts stress on the vocal cords, just like your singing. But with your singing, you prepare for it, you warm up, you coat your throat. But for sex, it’s a spur of the moment thing, right?”

Bec giggled beside him. He stared at her. “Well, it’s not scheduled like your performances,” she joked.

“So, what do I do then? It’s not like I want to stop. But I can’t focus so much on my voice that I don’t make any sound.” He looked at Bec. “Like I said, I want to lose myself in you.”

“You practice,” Jane said.

“Huh?” Brian stated.

“Take it in baby steps.” Jane sat back and waited a moment. “I know you probably don’t want to go through a full vocal warm-up simply to be with her. But, there’s foreplay involved, right? That’s where you stretch your voice, just like you would with any other muscles. Don’t go overboard. Work on one thing at a time. Lower range for groaning. The higher range for screaming. Decide which you want to focus on and experiment with it.”

Brian blushed a deep crimson and Bec squeezed his hand. “She’s giving us permission to experiment, play around,” she whispered in his ear. “I’ve got some new ideas,” she added softly.

Leaning across and patting Brian’s knee, Jane said, “I’ll go make some tea and then we’ll talk more.”

As the older woman stepped out of the room, Brian buried his face in his hands. “I cannot believe I did that,” he mumbled.

“What?” Bec asked.

“Talked about our sex life…” he stated picking his head up.

“You know you needed to. I know you asked your doctor and he couldn’t tell you.”

Looking at her, he grabbed her hands. “How are you so comfortable talking about it?”

Bec shrugged. “She said it was a safe space. Growing up like I did, you learn to find safe spaces where you can be yourself.”

Brian shook his head slowly, as Jane reappeared with a tray of steaming mugs of tea. Both Brian and Bec accepted theirs and everyone waited while Brian took his time sipping from his mug. After a quiet moment, Jane said, “So, tell me about Saturday? How did that feel?”

“It went well,” he said. “I felt really good going into it. I’m glad I made the choice to go with the acoustic version as it fits my range right now.”

“But…” Jane prompted, sipping her tea.

Brian sighed. “But, I panicked.”

“You panicked?”

Glancing at Bec before continuing, he said, “Well, not over my performance.” He gripped her hand. “I couldn’t find this one here. I guess the stress affected my singing, but I fought through.”

Jane nodded. “What was it about that moment that caused that?”

Brian shook his head. “I don’t know. I knew she was struggling and when I couldn’t find her, I panicked.”

“Do you think this is something that will happen often?”

“No,” Brian admitted. “I know she can’t be at every show I do, but it got me thinking about how I handle stress at the moment. I mean, I know when I’m gonna have a bad show because of stress, but what about if something happens mid-performance. How do I handle that?”

Jane set her cup down and looked at him. “Well, that’s something we can work on. Do you think you’re able to do more than one song at this time?”

Brian shrugged. “I’m not sure.”

“Well, I think it’s time to add in the vocal yoga we’ve been practicing for the past week. Yes, it’s going to make your warm-up routine longer, but if you want to be able to do the two-hour shows you used to, you’re going to need to warm up more.” Brian nodded. Jane then looked at Bec. “And you can help him with it as well. I know he’s a very solitary person when it comes to his voice, but if you’re there, it will help.”

“Will I still need the rest days?” Brian asked.

“If you work your way up to full shows, you likely won’t need to after every show, like you were doing. Maybe once a week.”

“How long do you think?”

Jane shrugged. “It really depends on you. I would say a minimum of two months right now.”

Brian nodded, and Jane led him through his warm-ups and showed Bec how she could help and even suggested that the pair of them take up yoga together. When Brian left an hour later, his voice felt strange, but surprisingly he could still use it. He knew he had to have some very difficult conversations with the guys and management. His timeline had now pushed them into a possible March return date instead of February. He knew he could be stubborn and force it earlier, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to be able to sing.

**February 20, 2023  
Los Angeles, California**

This year for his birthday, Brian was actually taking it easy. His previous birthday had been so tumultuous that he didn’t want to do anything but stay home. And that was what he did because he knew at the end of the week, he would be flying to Las Vegas. Vocally, he felt sound, physically he felt good. But he had to put all back together again. He had contacted Kenny and he had agreed to put him through the paces that weekend. Nick had even volunteered to help. Their first show back was going to be on the first Friday in March and they were planning a big party for the night before.

He didn’t know what Bec had planned for his birthday, but he knew it was very low key. She only told him that he had to dress nice and that they were going out. This was a big thing for her, he knew, as she had taken to hiding more and more and not being seen out and about, especially with him. Things had changed in her universe. She still released her videos weekly, still making videos for other people, but hadn’t thrown a party since December. Brian had asked her if she wanted to be in charge of the one in Vegas, but she reminded him that they couldn’t stay long. He needed his rest. The one thing he had convinced her to do was edit the raw footage from the last year worth of Vegas shows. He hadn’t seen her work but knew she had even gone in and found cell phone footage from the fans as well. The video was going to be premiered at the party the night before their first show of the next run.

That night, Brian put on the outfit Bec had requested: slacks, collared shirt, tie. About as nicely dressed as he’d been in a while. He waited in the living room, checking his shoes when he heard the door to the bedroom open. Out walked Bec in a short bright blue cocktail dress. She had matching heels and her short hair had obviously been recently trimmed up because it seemed to stand up easily.

“Wow,” Brian breathed. She ducked her head and smiled. “You look amazing,” he said, pulling her next to him.

“Thanks,” she whispered. 

“So are you going to tell me where I’m taking you tonight, because I know we aren’t staying in if you look this incredible.”

Blushing and ducking her head again, she said, “We’ve got reservations at Rodrigo’s at seven.”

“How long have you had it on the books? No one can ever get in there.”

“Since Christmas,” she said as he led her to the door.

As he held the door to his car for, he said, “You know the place is going to be swarming with paparazzi.”

She waited until he got in the car before answering, “I know.”

They drove in silence, holding hands to the posh restaurant. As Brian pulled in for valet parking, he stopped the attendant from opening the door for Bec, so he could do it himself. They walked arm in arm into the restaurant, despite the flashes of the cameras going off and the call of the paparazzi trying to get their attention. As they were led to their private table in the dimly lit restaurant, Brian whispered to her, “What brought this on?”

Sitting down and holding hands as they were across from each other, Bec finally answered him. “I just decided that I should just embrace it. Sure, it’s different than what I’m used to, but it’s nothing huge. Now if I had never done the videos or dealt with the paparazzi before, then yeah, it might be more of a stretch.”

Rubbing the back of her knuckles with his thumb, he smiled at her. “And the pushback? What all the fans are going to say?”

She shrugged. “They’ll get over it. Or they won’t. They used to like seeing you happy. I don’t know what’s changed.”

Taking a sip of his wine, he said to her, “You. You’ve changed me. They see it. They see that I’m more private, not quite as open and forthcoming. That there are some things they still don’t know about me.”

“You know they’re still pretty upset over me.”

He smiled at her. “Of course. You are the complete opposite of who they all have grown used to. It’s like you said. They’ll get used to you or they won’t.”

They enjoyed their dinner together, not worrying about what would happen the next day when the photos got out.

**March 3, 2023**  
**Planet Hollywood Hotel/Casino**  
**Las Vegas, Nevada**

The “kick-off” party had been a huge success. Bec’s video montage of the first year of the residency was a huge hit. Brian and Bec had ducked out early so he could go to bed and be well-rested for the following day’s events. That morning, he woke up feeling energized. But even with his adrenaline pumping, he knew he pretty much had to keep it quiet until their first round of meet and greets for the new set. He knew on Sunday, Bec would be flying back to Los Angeles to go back to work editing videos for various events. So they made the most of their time actually going out and wandering The Strip for a while and being tourists. Around three, they both headed back to Planet Hollywood and Brian headed off to theatre to go prepare himself for meet and greet at five-thirty.

As the group was queuing up, Nick draped an arm around his shoulder. “Are you sure you are gonna be okay?”

Brian nodded slowly. “I think so,” he said slowly. “After this is dinner and preparations. All to just be able to sing for nearly two hours.”

“But you’ve been building to this, right?” Howie asked, concerned.

Brian smiled. “I have. I started with our setlist and just started with one song and worked my way through it. I’m glad you guys have let me change the key in a few songs.”

Kevin leaned over and hugged his cousin. “Hey, if it’s what we need to do to keep you singing with us, we do it.” The whole group joined in a group hug as Justin came squeezing past.

“Are you guys ready to do this?” he asked.

“Yeah!” they all chorused and lined up ready to make an entrance.

The fans were so excited to see the five of them. Brian got lots of hugs, congratulations, and wished luck by every fan. Most told him they were glad he was able to be back.

As the photos were winding down and Brian was definitely looking forward to the soup he was having for dinner to help coat his throat, he looked up at the last person in line. He was shocked to see it was his own girlfriend, wearing her all-access pass around her neck. “What are you doing here?” he asked, hugging her.

“Getting another epic meet and greet photo.” She was wearing her Nick shirt again and she threw a glance at their photographer who winked at her.

“What is it this time?” Nick asked.

Bec grinned. “I want a Nick hug, but Brian, you can either be pouty or surprised. Your choice.”

Brian shook his head slowly. “Are we making this one a canvas and hanging it in the living room?”

“I was going to say my studio, but the living room works too.”

Brian put his hand on his forehead and shook his head slowly as the rest of the men in the room bust up laughing. Brian then had an idea and quickly snagged his cousin and whispered something in his ear. He then turned to Justin and held up two fingers and Justin nodded, understanding that Brian had something up his sleeve and wanted a second picture. Bec put herself between Nick and Alex with Howie on the other side. Nick hugged her and the other three guys slid their arms around each other’s backs. Brian turned slightly sideways, crossed his arms and gave his best pout. Once he heard the click, he turned and half launched himself at Nick. Kevin, knowing his part, turned to hold his cousin back while the looks of shock were genuine on Alex and Howie’s faces.

As they broke up from the pose, Justin was trying to contain his laughter as he was scrolling through the last few photos. “You wanna see?” he offered to the group of them. Clustering around the group laughed at the last four shots, which were exactly what both Bec and Brian wanted.

He slid his arm around her waist as they headed out of the room together. “So where are we hanging _that_ one?” he asked.

She shook her head and smiled as they walked off to dinner together. She stayed with him through his warm-ups and to the last moment when she was escorted to her seat. But unlike the wives who either stayed in their seats or hung out at the sound booth, Bec was up against the stage with the rest of the fans, phone in hand, getting video and pictures. Brian knew she had found her place. She was always going to be a Nick fan. She was always going to take the opportunity to get what photos and videos she could. She wasn’t going to let the fans around her get her down. He knew as he headed off stage that night to go and find her that things were going to be okay. The fans would settle down eventually. They would come to see that he was happy. And hopefully, he wouldn’t need to take another extended break for a while. He really wanted to keep doing what he was doing for a long time.


End file.
